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The questions which lead to nowhere
| Guest post by: Howard Miller |
Article Overview: DO YOU FIND YOURSELF STUCK NO MATTER WHAT QUESTIONS YOU ASK YOURSELF?
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Free Download - Jumping to Conclusions By Howard Miller |
The questions which lead to nowhere
Why can't they do anything right?
Why is this project running late?
Why is it taking so long to fire them?
How can I do all the work I have to do when I'm always behind?
If you can come up with decent answers to any of these questions, let me know!
When managers ask these questions, they get frustrated. This is because there are no good answers to these questions; these are questions which lead to nowhere.
In a prior soundbite I mentioned the term focus vacuums. A vacuum is an empty space, an emptiness devoid or matter or devoid of solutions.
Apply the word focus to this it means focusing on this emptiness, focusing on empty space devoid of solutions.
Questions which lead to nowhere are focus vacuums. You are focusing on empty space devoid of solutions. It will continually lead you to frustration and stress.
But the good news: change the question to one which leads to solutions!
There are two general rules to shift questions which lead to nowhere:
- Don't start the question with the word why. Why usually gets you to have to defend something which isn't going well.
- Don't keep asking yourself the same question if you don't get satisfactory answers!
Why can't they do anything right? can change to What three things have they done well in the last six months?
Why is this project running late? can change to What can we do with this project right now?
When you shift questions which lead nowhere to one with solutions:
- You generate constructive actions to do
- You see alternatives
- You are less stressed!
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Article Tags: absenteeism, acronyms, always, asking questions, behavior, behavior assessment, Change management, coaching, colloquialisms, communications, conflict, conflict resolution, dealing with difficult people, dealing with difficult situations, difficult personalities, DiSC, do as I say not as I do, effective questions, facebook, facts, fair, fairness, focus, gen x, gen y, generational differences, glass half empty, glass half full, how to deal with difficult people, humor, leadership, listening, management, management skills, management skills for new managers, miscommunication, motivation, never, new managers, objective vs subjective, opportunities, optimism, personality, powerful questions, questions, shift, sometimes, time management
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About the Author: Howard Miller RSS for Howard's articles - Visit Howard's website Howard Miller teaches management skills to new managers, seasoned managers, entrepreneurs and executives. He is on the faculty of AMA (American Management Association) and teaches courses including Skills for New Managers, Increasing Managerial Effectiveness, and Successfully Managing People). Topics include delegation and motivation methodologies, conflict, how to deal with difficult people, understanding values and behavior, feedback and listening skills. Clients include mid-range to large companies such as the IRS, Blue Cross Blue Shield, IBM, state government, public school districts, and non profit organizations. Howard also does executive and business coaching with the Ken Blanchard organization. Howard is the author of two book; You're Full of Shift, which contains short stories which demonstrate shifting difficult situations to opportunities and The Manager Trap: 13 ½ Pitfalls to Avoid which showcases common traps and pitfalls managers fall into including using a 4 letter word beginning with F that they should avoid! Click here to visit Howard's website   Not listening can be catastrophic The $64000 Question The loud woman at Starbucks What have I learned in 6 months of management Part 4 Only one way to go from here |
Related Forum Posts
Re: How do you overcome the fear of rejection while selling?
- If you are prepared and know what are your primary and secondary goals before you call (or visit) your potential client - you will feel less fear and more confidence.
Draw them in – open them up. At the end of every statement, ask for their approval or observation. Get the potential customer into the repetition of approving every step that you take.
Target the benefits of your product and not the features.
Use “W” – open them with questions starting with a “W”. Why, who, when, what are all questions that lead to a response. And follow with “Is that OK?”
And remember - people are rejectiong your business proposal, not you personally.
Re: What is your EVE Ratio?
- Hi GT,
Thank you for posting this. Like Michelle, the hard part is applying everything.
I admit that mine is balanced, with entertainment on the lead, but with a very small lead. I was on a lecture last week, and one of the teachers said: it not the amount of knowledge you have, it's how you use it every day.
So true.
Engaging Interview Questions
- Hi Shri,
When you conduct an interview, what kind of engaging questions do you typically ask? For instance, how important is it for you to ensure that you're not asking questions the author (or interviewee) has already answered before?
And how many questions you ask are personal vs professional?
Re: Kevin's Case Study #6 - Marketing an information resource?
- Hey Sebastian,
Congrats are starting to think beyond whats currently being done. My question is why do you want to get away from lead generation if that is where you make your money. What if you just because THE SOURCE for lead generation and high value content/information? Then you'd get more business because franchisors would HAVE to be listed with you....
J
My success this week
- Congrats Jen, a New house is exciting - I know how you feel. I waited 3 years for my place to get built and now living in it is amazing.
Success this week...
I sent out three birthday cards to business owners last week and I received calls of Thanks which lead to a conversation of what I do and then lead to 9 new referrals for me to followup with.
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