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Add Extras for Excitement: Five proven ways to add verve to your verbiage

Written by: Lynda McDaniel

Article Overview: Business writing today is often technical, flat and boring. Learn to tell better stories by adding techniques borrowed from professional writers. Your readers will appreciate the extra effort. They're more likely to finish reading what you wrote--which will help you get the results you want.

Add Extras for Excitement: Five proven ways to add verve to your verbiage

“Writing is thinking on paper.” - William Zinsser

Take time to write better, and someone at the top will notice. Guaranteed. That's true in part because good writing leads us beyond ideas we already know. As William Zinsser, my first writing teacher and renowned journalist, says, writing is thinking on paper (or screen). Text messaging? That’s just top-of-the-head stuff. Ditto most e-mails. Take a little more time, edit one extra time, and get beyond the obvious.

Why be like everyone else? How many times have you read a report or proposal that basically said, “We’re great, we have the solution, trust us”? Be uncommon and catch your readers’ interest (remember who’s looking: bosses, clients, customers).

Next time you want to create a winning document, try these five ways of adding verve to your verbiage.

1. Similes

These figures of speech compare two unlike things, usually introduced by like or as.

• “His work becomes even more remarkable when you realize that Brush is self-taught, though that is like saying that Albert Einstein taught himself relativity one day on a moving train.” From an article I wrote for Lapidary Journal.
• “For a couple of minutes I couldn’t seem to get enough air. I was like a starving man at a banquet.” Nature Noir, Jordan Fisher Smith.
• “Lost in thought, Corso watched the paparazzi move along the sidewalk like a meal going down a python.” Black River, G. M. Ford.

Here are some similes for the workplace:

• The office was as quiet as Yankee Stadium in January. Business was slow, and spirits were down…
• During the takeover, the blood pressure of the sales team shot as high as a Derek Jeter pop fly. The tension was killing sales…

Similes paint a picture and draw readers into your letter, report or proposal. Get clear on what you are writing about; then think of what that is like or similar to. It’s important to keep the similes relevant to your audience.

2. Alliteration
Alliteration is achieved with the repetition of initial consonant sounds in two or more neighboring words or syllables (as wild and woolly, threatening throngs). It adds interest and helps develop rhythm. An example from my work:

“While the term ‘art furniture’ has been around for more than a century, only in the last 25 years has this uniquely American art form coalesced into a bona fide movement. By its nature, art furniture is a loosely structured movement, a sort of Chippendale-meets-Chip ‘n' Dale style that mixes tradition and whimsy, function and fancy. As a result, art furniture has prompted contention about just which category it belongs to: art of craft? Fine or fun?”

In the workplace, your letters and reports will stand out. People will admire your ability to express yourself. They’ll think you’re smart!

3. Cool clichés and plays on words.

Catch readers’ attention with a cliché, phrase or famous book title made fresh for your topic. Caution: Avoid plain old clichés like the plague. (Ooops, that’s a cliché!) But seriously, don’t use them except when you change them around like these:

Best suite in the house— an ad for a condominium.
He learned it the soft way— referring to a legendary frozen custard entrepreneur.
Dorm et vous — headline for a back-to-school story.
Twice Sold Tales — an article about selling your business story more than once.

4. Famous quotes
Famous quotes deliver a boost in credibility (like William Zinsser’s quote above). Use them judiciously, however, and don’t depend on famous people to make your point. You can find a slew of famous quotes on the Web.

5. Vivid verbs
When I edit clients’ work, replacing weak verbs is often the biggest—and most rewarding—task. Just a few strong verbs can add energy to any document. Of course, sometimes nothing works better than “is,” “are” or “was.” You can’t have every verb a zinger, or your story would sound like the literary equivalent of popcorn. But we overuse the “to be” verb. As you review your work, look for chances to ratchet up your prose. Add color and action with words such as:
• abandon, achieve, accommodate, assist, authorize
• brandish, carve, celebrate, collaborate, cooperate
• design, devote, discover, encourage, establish, explore
• fracture, galvanize, generate, honor, implement, invest
• kick, launch, learn, maintain, neutralize
• organize, originate, oppress, prove, reveal, ravish
• serve, shout, stabilize, support, sustain
• target, teach, uphold, wither, wilt, withdraw

Vivid verbs make a huge difference. Look at the difference in these examples:

(Dull) He was the first person to do that. (Vivid) He created that.
(Dull) They were for justice. (Vivid) They advocated justice.
(Dull) She is very tall. (Vivid) She looms over the crowd.
(Dull) The dog is not paying attention. (Vivid) The dog ignores his companion.
(Dull)The waistband is tight. (Vivid) The waistband pinches.
(Dull)The garden is full of weeds. (Vivid) Weeds choke the garden.

“To be” or “not to be”? There is no question that vivid verbs say much more. Then add a dash of alliteration and a few similes, cool clichés, quotes to wake up your prose.

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Article Tags: attentiongetting, business writing, creativity, excitement, increased sales, results, writing skills



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