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What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals
Written by: Lynda McDanielArticle Overview: Most people write about themselves and the features they have to offer. Savvy business writers know they need to write to the reader and share benefits and results. Along the way, all their terrific features will come out--but in a way their readers can relate to.
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What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals
What’s in it for me? That’s what every reader is thinking, consciously or not. If you keep that in mind when you write any business document, you’ll keep your readers reading. Focus on their needs—solutions to their pain, proven results—and in the process, you’ll naturally bring out all the terrific features you offer.
Grab attention from the get-go
Begin with a strong, concise lead paragraph in order to grab readers’ attention (to make sure they stick with you*). Don’t worry if something snappy doesn’t come to you right away—you can always improve your lead after you get your first draft down.
Ask yourself:
• Are there problems you have answers for? What pains are your prospects experiencing?
• Do you have a third-party story that shows how your product can help?
• Are you offering something new or unique to your industry?
• Will you make the readers’ lives easier? Save them time or energy?
Study the following “Before” example I received from a client. Then check out the “After” copy packed with solutions.
[BEFORE]
Subject: We can help you improve customer service
Dear Janice,
Every business owner recognizes the importance of offering consistent, premium service by the highest-quality employees, and finding an objective method for evaluating employee service levels against client expectations isn’t always easy to do. We help you discover if your employees are adhering to your company’s service policies and delivering consistent levels of service. Jones Consultants offers a range of services designed to quickly and efficiently provide vital information on their performance. We can create a specially priced bundled package of services, or you can selectively pick and choose just those services that fit your business needs.
Whew! Lots of long sentences and jumbled thoughts from Jones’s perspective. Let’s try again from the reader’s viewpoint:
[AFTER]
Subject: Customer service you can be proud of
Dear Janice,
You consistently want to offer your customers the best service from courteous employees. But do you?
At Jones Consultants, we work with clients who are worried about their employees’ performance, tired of getting customer complaints, and frustrated with incomplete results. Sound familiar? Jones Consultants can help. We start by analyzing your business and customizing services to give you accurate information on your employees’ performance.
[Your turn]
As you start any writing project, ask yourself what solutions you can offer the readers. Catch their attention in your first paragraph with these solutions, then hold their interest by explaining how these results will benefit them. Not only will you keep them reading, you’ll likely see a better return on your marketing efforts.
*You might not be aware of how many people delete and throw away hard-to-read documents. I was amazed by how many of my students freely confess that they simply hit delete if something looks too difficult.
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About the Author: Lynda McDaniel RSS for Lynda's articles - Visit Lynda's website  Lynda's written just shy of a thousand magazine articles, all kinds of business collateral, and five books. Her latest, "Words at Work: Powerful business writing delivers increased sales, improved results, and even a promotion or two," took top honors from the National Best Books 2009 Awards. About five years ago, she began teaching and speaking about writing. She discovered she loved getting people fired up about writing. She's helped hundreds of people to write better at national and regional organizations such as The Boeing Company, Key Bank, City of Seattle, YMCA, T-Mobile, SBA, U. of Washington, Cutter & Buck, and Kroll Security.
Click here to visit Lynda's website   Creative Writing at Work Write Right How to stop writing like a dropout and start writing like a pro Better BusinessWriting Results Plan More Write Less The Doom and Gloom of To Whom It May Concern Forget oldfashioned cover letters Whats in it for me How to keep people reading your business letters and email reports and proposals |
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Statcounter / Google Analytics
- Hi TheAnonymousMan,
I use Google Analytics for my official stats and for my advertisers because you can slice and dice the information into almost anything you like. The only downfall I find is that the information is not live - you have to wait until the next day to get your stats.
For live stats I use StatCounter. I also find that their email reports are more convenient than Google's because you get it in the actual email instead of a PDF file which saves time. StatCounter also allows you to send email reports for specific sections. I'm not sure if Google has this functionality built in yet.
Re: Hello from a San Diego-based marketer
- Welcome Aaron!
Whats the next stage for your business?
Ben
Don't they know there are spammers out there?
- Just a rant....
I have a spam filter on my email, such that every day probably about 20 or more emails a day end up in my Bulk folder and I don't even see them. But I still see dozens of spam messages a day in my Inbox, and I recognize them by their titles, if they just say, "Hello," or "Hi" or some other generic title, I know it's spam and I just delete it without even opening it - as you must do.
Today I got an email from someone, and the title was "wff".
Just that. Not even capital letters.
Normally I would have just deleted it without reading it, but fortunately I saw the name of the author, and it was a name I recognized, not a friend but an acquaintance - someone who works for the Williamsburg Film Festival. And the title "wff" was of course Williamsburg Film Festival.
And I wonder how many businesses send out emails to potential customers with generic subject lines so that their stuff gets sent to the Trash file without even being looked at.
Re: New, young entrepreneur
- Congrats H20ismyLife!
Do you have a website so we can see any of your work?
Whats the next step for you?
Re: Sales Letters: Do they work?
- Sales letters are a unique and very beneficial element to almost any businesses marketing and sales letters, if done professionally and ethically.
According to Rudyard Kipling, 'words are the most powerful drug we humans can deliver'
the reason these letters and sites work, and they do, trust me, is people they are targeted to a very specific type of person/demographic. The more you understand your market, the better you can write your sales letters and collateral material.
Every form of communication essentially uses this format,
identify the pain
propose a solution
offer proof - through testimonials
outline the benefits
make an offer they cant refuse
etc
etc
if your radar flags when you read some one else's letter, that only speaks to your own integrity and how you want to be seen.
In fact, some of the best sales letters every written have been for
World Wildlife Fund, Foster Parents Plan, Canadian Cancer Society etc.
The difference is that now mainstream businesses and especially information marketers are using these tactics. Personally the formula is used all the time in every successful campaign - you only need to decide what you are comfortable with.
As far as one of the links Shri provided, I'm very familiar with his work and quite frankly wouldnt bother recommending it....
But to sum up - sales letters are an old and traditional way of motivating someone to buy - right now.
dont knock it - if you aint tried it. But make sure you are 100% acting in integrity and within the comfort level of your audience.
Jude
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