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What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals

Written by: Lynda McDaniel

Article Overview: Most people write about themselves and the features they have to offer. Savvy business writers know they need to write to the reader and share benefits and results. Along the way, all their terrific features will come out--but in a way their readers can relate to.

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What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals

What’s in it for me? That’s what every reader is thinking, consciously or not. If you keep that in mind when you write any business document, you’ll keep your readers reading. Focus on their needs—solutions to their pain, proven results—and in the process, you’ll naturally bring out all the terrific features you offer.

Grab attention from the get-go
Begin with a strong, concise lead paragraph in order to grab readers’ attention (to make sure they stick with you*). Don’t worry if something snappy doesn’t come to you right away—you can always improve your lead after you get your first draft down.

Ask yourself:

• Are there problems you have answers for? What pains are your prospects experiencing?
• Do you have a third-party story that shows how your product can help?
• Are you offering something new or unique to your industry?
• Will you make the readers’ lives easier? Save them time or energy?

Study the following “Before” example I received from a client. Then check out the “After” copy packed with solutions.

[BEFORE]

Subject: We can help you improve customer service

Dear Janice,

Every business owner recognizes the importance of offering consistent, premium service by the highest-quality employees, and finding an objective method for evaluating employee service levels against client expectations isn’t always easy to do. We help you discover if your employees are adhering to your company’s service policies and delivering consistent levels of service. Jones Consultants offers a range of services designed to quickly and efficiently provide vital information on their performance. We can create a specially priced bundled package of services, or you can selectively pick and choose just those services that fit your business needs.



Whew! Lots of long sentences and jumbled thoughts from Jones’s perspective. Let’s try again from the reader’s viewpoint:

[AFTER]

Subject: Customer service you can be proud of

Dear Janice,

You consistently want to offer your customers the best service from courteous employees. But do you?

At Jones Consultants, we work with clients who are worried about their employees’ performance, tired of getting customer complaints, and frustrated with incomplete results. Sound familiar? Jones Consultants can help. We start by analyzing your business and customizing services to give you accurate information on your employees’ performance.


[Your turn]
As you start any writing project, ask yourself what solutions you can offer the readers. Catch their attention in your first paragraph with these solutions, then hold their interest by explaining how these results will benefit them. Not only will you keep them reading, you’ll likely see a better return on your marketing efforts.

*You might not be aware of how many people delete and throw away hard-to-read documents. I was amazed by how many of my students freely confess that they simply hit delete if something looks too difficult.

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Home > Business-Coach > Lynda McDaniel > Whats in it for me How to keep people reading your business letters and email reports and proposals
Article Tags: business document, business owner, client expectations, consistent levels, energy study, first draft, highest quality, janice, objective method, paragraph, perspective, premium service, prospects, quality employees, sentences, service policies, terrific features, third party, viewpoint, vital information

About the Author: Lynda McDaniel
RSS for Lynda's articles - Visit Lynda's website

Lynda McDaniel is a creativity catalyst and business writing coach. She brings more than 25 years of writing and teaching to her position as director of the Association for Creative Business Writing (AFCBW). Lynda founded in 2009 to help writers learn how to mine their creativity and express their business ideas in an organized, compelling way. As a result, they're able to persuade, sell, teach, improve, guide, explain, change, contribute, motivate, praise, recommend...and there's no telling where that can lead.

Lynda's written just shy of a thousand magazine articles, all kinds of business collateral, and five books. Her latest, "Words at Work: Powerful business writing delivers increased sales, improved results, and even a promotion or two," took top honors from the National Best Books 2009 Awards. About five years ago, she began teaching and speaking about writing. She discovered she loved getting people fired up about writing. She's helped hundreds of people to write better at national and regional organizations such as The Boeing Company, Key Bank, City of Seattle, YMCA, T-Mobile, SBA, U. of Washington, Cutter & Buck, and Kroll Security.

 



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More from Lynda McDaniel
Creative Writing at Work
Write Right How to stop writing like a dropout and start writing like a pro
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The Doom and Gloom of To Whom It May Concern Forget oldfashioned cover letters
Whats in it for me How to keep people reading your business letters and email reports and proposals


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