What’s in it for me? That’s what every reader is thinking, consciously or not. If you keep that in mind when you write any business document, you’ll keep your readers reading. Focus on their needs—solutions to their pain, proven results—and in the process, you’ll naturally bring out all the terrific features you offer.
Grab attention from the get-go
Begin with a strong, concise lead paragraph in order to grab readers’ attention (to make sure they stick with you*). Don’t worry if something snappy doesn’t come to you right away—you can always improve your lead after you get your first draft down.
Ask yourself:
• Are there problems you have answers for? What pains are your prospects experiencing?
• Do you have a third-party story that shows how your product can help?
• Are you offering something new or unique to your industry?
• Will you make the readers’ lives easier? Save them time or energy?
Study the following “Before” example I received from a client. Then check out the “After” copy packed with solutions.
[BEFORE]
Subject: We can help you improve customer service
Dear Janice,
Every business owner recognizes the importance of offering consistent, premium service by the highest-quality employees, and finding an objective method for evaluating employee service levels against client expectations isn’t always easy to do. We help you discover if your employees are adhering to your company’s service policies and delivering consistent levels of service. Jones Consultants offers a range of services designed to quickly and efficiently provide vital information on their performance. We can create a specially priced bundled package of services, or you can selectively pick and choose just those services that fit your business needs.
Whew! Lots of long sentences and jumbled thoughts from Jones’s perspective. Let’s try again from the reader’s viewpoint:
[AFTER]
Subject: Customer service you can be proud of
Dear Janice,
You consistently want to offer your customers the best service from courteous employees. But do you?
At Jones Consultants, we work with clients who are worried about their employees’ performance, tired of getting customer complaints, and frustrated with incomplete results. Sound familiar? Jones Consultants can help. We start by analyzing your business and customizing services to give you accurate information on your employees’ performance.
[Your turn]
As you start any writing project, ask yourself what solutions you can offer the readers. Catch their attention in your first paragraph with these solutions, then hold their interest by explaining how these results will benefit them. Not only will you keep them reading, you’ll likely see a better return on your marketing efforts.
*You might not be aware of how many people delete and throw away hard-to-read documents. I was amazed by how many of my students freely confess that they simply hit delete if something looks too difficult.
What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals - To learn more about this author, visit Lynda McDaniel's Website.
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Lynda McDaniel
(Visit Lynda's Website)
As a business writing coach, I hear a lot
of stories about the decline of writing
skills at U.S. companies. Often, my
clients weren’t even aware that their
staff was struggling with writing. But
when they looked closer, they found that
one poorly written e-mail required four
more to straighten out misunderstandings
generated by the first one. Or that sales
proposals failed to bring in new business.
My career as a journalist makes my
coaching and seminars more exciting.
Journalists learn to write quickly and
creatively. We tell stories, an age-old
method of grabbing readers' attention and
involving them on an emotional level.
Armed with 25 years of experience, I teach
people how to jumpstart their writing and
craft exciting, results-oriented copy.
Clients include DuPont, Builders Mortgage
Capital, Kennedy Center for the Performing
Arts, Law & Politics, Associations Now,
Southern Living, Seattle
Post-Intelligencer and the Washington Post
(online). Coaching/seminar clients
include First Choice Health, Cutter &
Buck, Key Bank, YMCA, Seattle Chamber of
Commerce, U.S. Small Business
Administration, and University of
Washington. www.l
yndamcdaniel.com
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