What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals
What’s in it for me? How to keep people reading your business letters and e-mail, reports and proposals
Grab attention from the get-go
Begin with a strong, concise lead paragraph in order to grab readers’ attention (to make sure they stick with you*). Don’t worry if something snappy doesn’t come to you right away—you can always improve your lead after you get your first draft down.
Ask yourself:
• Are there problems you have answers for? What pains are your prospects experiencing?
• Do you have a third-party story that shows how your product can help?
• Are you offering something new or unique to your industry?
• Will you make the readers’ lives easier? Save them time or energy?
Study the following “Before” example I received from a client. Then check out the “After” copy packed with solutions.
[BEFORE]
Subject: We can help you improve customer service
Dear Janice,
Every business owner recognizes the importance of offering consistent, premium service by the highest-quality employees, and finding an objective method for evaluating employee service levels against client expectations isn’t always easy to do. We help you discover if your employees are adhering to your company’s service policies and delivering consistent levels of service. Jones Consultants offers a range of services designed to quickly and efficiently provide vital information on their performance. We can create a specially priced bundled package of services, or you can selectively pick and choose just those services that fit your business needs.
Whew! Lots of long sentences and jumbled thoughts from Jones’s perspective. Let’s try again from the reader’s viewpoint:
[AFTER]
Subject: Customer service you can be proud of
Dear Janice,
You consistently want to offer your customers the best service from courteous employees. But do you?
At Jones Consultants, we work with clients who are worried about their employees’ performance, tired of getting customer complaints, and frustrated with incomplete results. Sound familiar? Jones Consultants can help. We start by analyzing your business and customizing services to give you accurate information on your employees’ performance.
[Your turn]
As you start any writing project, ask yourself what solutions you can offer the readers. Catch their attention in your first paragraph with these solutions, then hold their interest by explaining how these results will benefit them. Not only will you keep them reading, you’ll likely see a better return on your marketing efforts.
*You might not be aware of how many people delete and throw away hard-to-read documents. I was amazed by how many of my students freely confess that they simply hit delete if something looks too difficult.
Whats in it for me How to keep people reading your business letters and email reports and proposals - To learn more about this author, visit Lynda McDaniel's Website.
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What’s in it for me? That’s what every reader is thinking, consciously or not. If you keep that in mind when you write any business document, you’ll keep your readers reading. Focus on their needs—solutions to their pain, proven results—and in the process, you’ll naturally bring out all the terrific features you offer.
Grab attention from the get-go
Begin with a strong, concise lead paragraph in order to grab readers’ attention (to make sure they stick with you*). Don’t worry if something snappy doesn’t come to you right away—you can always improve your lead after you get your first draft down.
Ask yourself:
• Are there problems you have answers for? What pains are your prospects experiencing?
• Do you have a third-party story that shows how your product can help?
• Are you offering something new or unique to your industry?
• Will you make the readers’ lives easier? Save them time or energy?
Study the following “Before” example I received from a client. Then check out the “After” copy packed with solutions.
[BEFORE]
Subject: We can help you improve customer service
Dear Janice,
Every business owner recognizes the importance of offering consistent, premium service by the highest-quality employees, and finding an objective method for evaluating employee service levels against client expectations isn’t always easy to do. We help you discover if your employees are adhering to your company’s service policies and delivering consistent levels of service. Jones Consultants offers a range of services designed to quickly and efficiently provide vital information on their performance. We can create a specially priced bundled package of services, or you can selectively pick and choose just those services that fit your business needs.
Whew! Lots of long sentences and jumbled thoughts from Jones’s perspective. Let’s try again from the reader’s viewpoint:
[AFTER]
Subject: Customer service you can be proud of
Dear Janice,
You consistently want to offer your customers the best service from courteous employees. But do you?
At Jones Consultants, we work with clients who are worried about their employees’ performance, tired of getting customer complaints, and frustrated with incomplete results. Sound familiar? Jones Consultants can help. We start by analyzing your business and customizing services to give you accurate information on your employees’ performance.
[Your turn]
As you start any writing project, ask yourself what solutions you can offer the readers. Catch their attention in your first paragraph with these solutions, then hold their interest by explaining how these results will benefit them. Not only will you keep them reading, you’ll likely see a better return on your marketing efforts.
*You might not be aware of how many people delete and throw away hard-to-read documents. I was amazed by how many of my students freely confess that they simply hit delete if something looks too difficult.
Whats in it for me How to keep people reading your business letters and email reports and proposals - To learn more about this author, visit Lynda McDaniel's Website.
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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David BarrDavid Barr is the President of Venture Opportunities, Inc. David has been a professional business broker/intermediary since 1980 focusing on General Business Brokerage and Mergers and Acquisitions representing client transaction value from $400,000 to $20,000,000. Mr. Barr has handled the sale of over four hundred and fifty companies. David earned a university degree from the State University of New York majoring in economics and business. David holds the Mergers and Acquisition Master Intermediary and the Certified Business Intermediary designations from the International Business Brokers Association. He is also a Senior Business Analyst and a Texas licensed Real Estate Agent. For more information about David and Venture Opportunities, visit www.bizdealmaker.com. - Visit David Barr's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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