7 Negative Results of Over-Sharing Personal Info at Work
7 Negative Results of Over-Sharing Personal Info at Work
That article comes out most likely this Monday the 23rd but I thought I could take time now to share with you the nuts and bolts of what we discussed today.
First of all let’s look at what is over-sharing. It is when a person, perhaps a co-worker, manager or other boss engages in lengthy personal conversations with you or when they carry on about their personal life at work. Why would they do that?
Well people often engage in personal conversation to get closer to you, to build rapport and to build a bridge between work and friendships. Although this might sound okay, we also should look at the possible negatives that could come about from a habit of over-sharing.
1. Being labeled lazy and uncommitted to work
2. Being called a gossiper and the spreader of office rumours
3. Not being taken seriously if people think you talk too much ‘fluff’
4. Being seen as a person looking for sympathy
5. Being suspected of making allies with some and enemies with others, splitting up the team and perhaps creating a fear of an ‘office war’
6. Not being aware that you are giving potential opponents ‘ammunition’ that could be used against you if you ran into trouble with that person or got on the wrong side of office politics.
7. Not being considered trustworthy at work to keep corporate secrets, thereby affecting your chances of getting promoted or included in on big deals
It can be hard sometimes to separate business from the personal, and I for one do not want to be seen as a cold, uncaring person who is not able to empathize with a co-worker or manager. Yet at the same time I do not want to divulge so much information that people start to look at me funny, talk behind my back or use the information against me in some sinister way. What is an employee to do?
Well like most things in life, strike a balance. Empathize with the person, acknowledge them and their feelings, but then get back on point or on track of the project at hand. Be an ear for a brief moment and then gently but firmly steer the conversation away from the personal (for their benefit as well as yours) and re-focus it on work. The chatty person will at some point get the hint without you making a scene and without you embarrassing them in front of others. Why is it important to allow them to ‘save face’? Because even though their comments or over-sharing may have bothered or offended you, chances are they did not say things to intentionally and maliciously hurt you. That is why we do not want to over-react with an emotional attack. We do not want to burn the bridge that they are trying to build.
You can catch the article on Monday, and I will post the online article link to my blog as well, for those interested in reading it. I am rather curious myself how it will read! Until then remember to be friendly but firm, and to always remember that business is business – it is NOT personal.
All the best,
Ric the Coach
7 Negative Results of OverSharing Personal Info at Work - To learn more about this author, visit Ric Phillips's Website.
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Today I was asked to give an interview for Sarah Boesveld, a newspaper reporter with The Globe and Mail's Life section. She wanted to write an article about over-sharing in the workplace - that is, people offering a little bit too much personal information and how that can affect working performance and working relationships. Great topic!
That article comes out most likely this Monday the 23rd but I thought I could take time now to share with you the nuts and bolts of what we discussed today.
First of all let’s look at what is over-sharing. It is when a person, perhaps a co-worker, manager or other boss engages in lengthy personal conversations with you or when they carry on about their personal life at work. Why would they do that?
Well people often engage in personal conversation to get closer to you, to build rapport and to build a bridge between work and friendships. Although this might sound okay, we also should look at the possible negatives that could come about from a habit of over-sharing.
1. Being labeled lazy and uncommitted to work
2. Being called a gossiper and the spreader of office rumours
3. Not being taken seriously if people think you talk too much ‘fluff’
4. Being seen as a person looking for sympathy
5. Being suspected of making allies with some and enemies with others, splitting up the team and perhaps creating a fear of an ‘office war’
6. Not being aware that you are giving potential opponents ‘ammunition’ that could be used against you if you ran into trouble with that person or got on the wrong side of office politics.
7. Not being considered trustworthy at work to keep corporate secrets, thereby affecting your chances of getting promoted or included in on big deals
It can be hard sometimes to separate business from the personal, and I for one do not want to be seen as a cold, uncaring person who is not able to empathize with a co-worker or manager. Yet at the same time I do not want to divulge so much information that people start to look at me funny, talk behind my back or use the information against me in some sinister way. What is an employee to do?
Well like most things in life, strike a balance. Empathize with the person, acknowledge them and their feelings, but then get back on point or on track of the project at hand. Be an ear for a brief moment and then gently but firmly steer the conversation away from the personal (for their benefit as well as yours) and re-focus it on work. The chatty person will at some point get the hint without you making a scene and without you embarrassing them in front of others. Why is it important to allow them to ‘save face’? Because even though their comments or over-sharing may have bothered or offended you, chances are they did not say things to intentionally and maliciously hurt you. That is why we do not want to over-react with an emotional attack. We do not want to burn the bridge that they are trying to build.
You can catch the article on Monday, and I will post the online article link to my blog as well, for those interested in reading it. I am rather curious myself how it will read! Until then remember to be friendly but firm, and to always remember that business is business – it is NOT personal.
All the best,
Ric the Coach
7 Negative Results of OverSharing Personal Info at Work - To learn more about this author, visit Ric Phillips's Website.
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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Ric Phillips Video - Communication Coach Ric Phillips is invited once again to be on CBC News TV on January 01 2009 to discuss how we can apply the coaching G.R.O.W. model to achieve our goals and New Year resolutions. You will see a 'calmer' more subdued Ric in comparison to his 2008 interview. Watch and compare and then go set some goals!!!
(CommunicationCoach.ca)
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