A few years back, my relationship was not looking much healthier than the insane one that came before it. He had some issues that were clearly not designed to empower a committed relationship. He needed to do something about those issues or I was going to jump ship. Well, he wouldn’t. So I did something about it and didn’t jump ship.
I was the one who was miserable. I was the one who was sticking around in my third major relationship in a row where my needs weren’t being met. I was the one who was clearly suffering. It was my problem and I needed to do something about it. Yes, I could leave the relationship but my inner coach told me I would just create another dysfunctional relationship with the next guy.
Oh! Taking responsibility for my mess was painful. I kept pointing my index finger of blame at him, the guy before him and the one before that! Everyone told me I had a broken man-picker. Nope. It was me attracting suffering. I obviously had some belief that in love there is a trade-off. I would always have to tolerate intensely stressful situations. The stuff that high suspense thrillers were made of…somebody help me off this ride!
It took me a little less than a year to completely turn my situation around. I made my entire focus about finding my worth, taking actions that empowered me and trusting myself. It was counter-intuitive. I did not ask him to change his less than ideal behaviors. I literally made this an inside job and kept affirming that I would have a relationship that served me well.
Was the journey easy? Um, that would be a big NO! I had a coach that I talked to more often than most clients. I called Eva, my business partner, at all times of the day and night. My parents saw many tears. I was doing major shifting of my thoughts and it took some hard-core practice. I now am treated like a queen and sincerely adored in my current relationship. Is it perfect? Nah, but it’s really, really good. I still practice focusing on the path of most allowance and knowing I will always like my end result, so I don’t sweat the small niggles.
What about you? Have you been blaming anything for your discomfort with the your relationship, financial situation or health?
There are a lot of things you can blame:
• Your parents
• Your mate
• Your kids
• Your in-laws
• The economy
• Your last employer
• Your clients
• Your employees or team
• The real estate market
• Your illness
• Your doctor
• Your age
• Your weight
You can blame yourself for not having enough wisdom, support from others, being sick, being overweight, not having enough confidence or money to fix the issue. But honestly, these are just perspectives to keep you creating more of the same ole’ same ole.’ There has to be a moment when you say, “Enough of this poor me cr*p! I deserve better than this and I will have better than this!” It will take this decision to put the change in motion.
Next, you will take one step after the other in the direction of empowerment. This is not a race. Like really good wine, it’ll be worth the wait. Don’t rush the process. Be consistent with the process. Begin a routine that supports you both in the morning and evenings. Make sure there is YOU time involved.
Take time out to move your body, enjoy friends and family, watch movies, read, do your hobbies and connect with nature. This piece is critical. I’ve heard every excuse there is from my clients about how hard it is to have balance. But I always say the same thing: You want this to be different? Then you have to be different. Stop the addiction of rushing around and putting everyone else first.
You have to take your life into your own hands. Don’t wait for someone else to fix it or an opportunity to appear. Create the opening for the change to happen. You know that old saying: If it’s to be, it’s up to me! You are so ready to have things be really, really good in all areas of your life. Now, step up to the plate. Do something about it!
It's Up To YOU To Get Yourself Out of Funk - To learn more about this author, visit Jeanna Gabellini's Website.
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Jeanna Gabellini
(Visit Jeanna's Website)
Jeanna Gabellini, CPCC, is The Xtreme
Abundance Coach, speaker and author of
several programs and books including The
Art of Practice, Mind Games™, Speed Dial
The Universe™, The Prosperity Game Home
Study Course™, The Magnetizing Money
Course™, and Financial Fortune™.
Considered a Law of Attraction expert, she
has instructed tens of thousands in
person, on the radio and in
teleconferences on how to get exactly what
they want by blending attraction
principles with concrete strategies.
Jeanna brings outrageous laughs and energy
to all of her presentations and classes.
In 1998, she was one of the first coaches
in the world -- and the youngest -- to
receive the designation of Master
Certified Coach by the International Coach
Federation. Jeanna has served on the
boards of both the Personal & Professional
Coaching Association and the International
Coach Federation.
Her newest book is Life Lessons for
Mastering the Law of Attraction,
co-authored with Eva Gregory, Jack
Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen.
Go to www.MasterPeaceCoaching.com or call
California at 707-747-0447
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