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Why Are You Choosing That?!

Written by: Jeanna Gabellini

Article Overview: “I’m so exhausted. I could really use a cup of coffee,” said Tim over the phone. “So, have one.” I said. “I gave it up almost a year ago.” “Why?” “I don’t know. I guess I looked at it as a bad habit. I actually love coffee.”

Why Are You Choosing That?!

“I’m so exhausted. I could really use a cup of coffee,” said Tim over the phone.
“So, have one.” I said.
“I gave it up almost a year ago.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess I looked at it as a bad habit. I actually love coffee.”
“What would it be like to allow yourself to enjoy coffee with no guilt?”
“Awesome.”
“You’re never going to believe what just happened. My assistant just walked in with a cup from Starbucks and handed it to me. He knows I gave up coffee. WOW! Talk about instant attraction!”

This conversation was with a client on a recent coaching call. It’s not unique. Many people make decisions that aren’t from true choice but rather what they think they “should” do. Now, if this client had told me they were having negative experiences as a result of drinking coffee the conversation would have looked very different.

Guilt places a much bigger role in people’s lives than they are willing to admit. Some other common choices we make from guilt are:
• Going to events, parties, family functions
• Working late, going in early
• Taking your kids somewhere or making purchases for them
• Spending time with someone
• Saying yes when you mean no
• Taking on extra work
• Running errands for your mate, kids, friends
• I’ll do that for them because they did it for me
• Staying in an unfulfilling relationship

Plus a myriad of small daily choices that we are not even aware that we are making.

I am constantly handing out permission slips to clients stating:
• Yes, it is okay for you to give up the things you don’t like and start doing the things you do like.
• No, you do not have to go to the party at your annoying friend’s house.
• No, you don’t owe so-and-so a gift.
• Yes, you can throw out your to-do list for the week and chill out.It’s okay to not check your email every hour.
• Yes, it’s a good thing to take care of you first.
• No, you’re not responsible for everyone else’s life turning out great.

I’m now granting you all permission to choose what feels good. Just in case you forgot that you all had this freedom at birth. It’s amazing how many people light up when I validate their hearts desire.

I remember several years ago when I began taking bites of my mate’s steak. I was a vegetarian but that steak was looking and tasting good. I always felt a twinge of guilt for taking the bite. Finally, I asked myself: Why am I not eating meat? The answer was that it was just a choice I made seven years before. I had made a choice for specific reasons that weren’t true for me anymore. I made a new choice to eat whatever the heck felt good.

WOW! The freedom of choice. We all have it. Make sure you are choosing whatever you do because it really feels best for you. Not because you feel like you “should” or because the media told you is was good or bad for you.

What will you say yes or no to in order to step closer to fulfillment?

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Article Tags: bad habit, chill out, choices, cup of coffee, decisions, email, family functions, guilt, mate, myriad, negative experiences, permission slips, relationship, running errands, spending time, starbucks, true choice



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