Success – what is it and how can you have it?
Success – what is it and how can you have it?
But that chronic busyness take a toll - in diminished health, unsatisfying relationships and just plain unhappiness. So, what can you do?
Start by considering what success means to you. I asked focus groups of professional women in all different stages and circumstances in life, two questions: “What is success?” and “How do I know when I have it?” Surprisingly, most of the responses didn’t include accomplishment as part of the equation at all; success was consistently defined as an experience.
Success, it seems, has more to do with what you feel when your personal and professional needs and desires are being met; contentment, joy and peace. What causes this certainly includes external accomplishment, but more often it is linked to spending the “right” amount of time on the “right” combination of personal priorities - in other words, aligning your values with your actions.
One way to begin experiencing this new definition of success, is to ask yourself the same questions: “What is success?” and “How do I know when I’m being successful?” To clarify and deepen your responses, it’s effective to talk with someone (one-on-one or in a group) or journal about your answers. And take your time; it will pay off! As life shifts, plan to revisit this exercise to re-evaluate your priorities. Or, you can try this more specific exercise:
1. Look over the list below and choose your top three areas (no more) that you want to be your priorities (matching your values). The other areas matter too but they’re just not in the top three right now. Over time, this will shift as your life choices do, that’s why it’s helpful to do this again as you make changes.
Career/Job Community Education Family Finances/Money
Relationships Spirituality Body/Health Recreation/Leisure
2. In each of the three areas, write very specifically about what your “ideal” experience of life would be and what actions you can take each week to make your ideals a reality. Think of each area separately, that is, without considering the others, and don’t limit yourself.
3. Now, examine what you have written and see what’s how your proposed actions in each area might not work together. For example, let’s assume my top three areas are family, career and body/health:
Family Ideal: Intimate, supportive relationships with my kids and spouse.
Action: Hours per week:
Spend 3 hours with each kid 9 hours
Date w/husband 1x per week 4 hours
Eat together 3 days a week, 6 hours
Family day every weekend 6 hours
Career Ideal: Experience financial prosperity.
Action: Hours per week:
Make $250,000 this year 70 hours
Health/Body Ideal: Have physical/mental well being.
Action: Hours per week:
Good nights sleep each night 49 hours
Work out 3x/week - 30 minutes 1.5 hours
30 minutes time alone each day 3.5 hours
Total 149 hours
Total hours in a week 168 hours
This leaves me only 19 hours each week for commuting, errands, housework, paying bills, etc., plus the other seven areas! If I am honest with myself, I can see that this is wildly unattainable and would set me up for great discomfort. (By the way, almost all the women in my focus groups had expectations similar to these!)
4. Now, look again to see what’s negotiable and what’s not. Remember; work on your top three areas only. Let go of some activities and reduce others so that your end result is comfortably feasible. In my example above, I might cut down the family day to every other week, make my income goal compatible with a 60 hour work week and reduce my “alone time” to 30 minutes 3 times per week. Now I have over 30 hours “slack” to work with – lots more doable.
5. Once you’ve revised your actions, it’s time to work it into every day life. Plan on practicing a LOT to stick with your priorities. Forming new habits can be difficult so keep in mind why you want to!
This exercise can seem overwhelming until you consider the fact that we mostly don’t do any life evaluation at all. That’s why it usually takes a crisis to look at our priorities and our values. Give yourself lots of strokes for effort and never give up!
Success what is it and how can you have it - To learn more about this author, visit Sue Lindgren Hawkes's Website.
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If you are like most people, success is defined by completing a vast “to do” list day after day after day. Stopping to consider your priorities and values doesn’t even make the list - who has the time?
But that chronic busyness take a toll - in diminished health, unsatisfying relationships and just plain unhappiness. So, what can you do?
Start by considering what success means to you. I asked focus groups of professional women in all different stages and circumstances in life, two questions: “What is success?” and “How do I know when I have it?” Surprisingly, most of the responses didn’t include accomplishment as part of the equation at all; success was consistently defined as an experience.
Success, it seems, has more to do with what you feel when your personal and professional needs and desires are being met; contentment, joy and peace. What causes this certainly includes external accomplishment, but more often it is linked to spending the “right” amount of time on the “right” combination of personal priorities - in other words, aligning your values with your actions.
One way to begin experiencing this new definition of success, is to ask yourself the same questions: “What is success?” and “How do I know when I’m being successful?” To clarify and deepen your responses, it’s effective to talk with someone (one-on-one or in a group) or journal about your answers. And take your time; it will pay off! As life shifts, plan to revisit this exercise to re-evaluate your priorities. Or, you can try this more specific exercise:
1. Look over the list below and choose your top three areas (no more) that you want to be your priorities (matching your values). The other areas matter too but they’re just not in the top three right now. Over time, this will shift as your life choices do, that’s why it’s helpful to do this again as you make changes.
Career/Job Community Education Family Finances/Money
Relationships Spirituality Body/Health Recreation/Leisure
2. In each of the three areas, write very specifically about what your “ideal” experience of life would be and what actions you can take each week to make your ideals a reality. Think of each area separately, that is, without considering the others, and don’t limit yourself.
3. Now, examine what you have written and see what’s how your proposed actions in each area might not work together. For example, let’s assume my top three areas are family, career and body/health:
Family Ideal: Intimate, supportive relationships with my kids and spouse.
Action: Hours per week:
Spend 3 hours with each kid 9 hours
Date w/husband 1x per week 4 hours
Eat together 3 days a week, 6 hours
Family day every weekend 6 hours
Career Ideal: Experience financial prosperity.
Action: Hours per week:
Make $250,000 this year 70 hours
Health/Body Ideal: Have physical/mental well being.
Action: Hours per week:
Good nights sleep each night 49 hours
Work out 3x/week - 30 minutes 1.5 hours
30 minutes time alone each day 3.5 hours
Total 149 hours
Total hours in a week 168 hours
This leaves me only 19 hours each week for commuting, errands, housework, paying bills, etc., plus the other seven areas! If I am honest with myself, I can see that this is wildly unattainable and would set me up for great discomfort. (By the way, almost all the women in my focus groups had expectations similar to these!)
4. Now, look again to see what’s negotiable and what’s not. Remember; work on your top three areas only. Let go of some activities and reduce others so that your end result is comfortably feasible. In my example above, I might cut down the family day to every other week, make my income goal compatible with a 60 hour work week and reduce my “alone time” to 30 minutes 3 times per week. Now I have over 30 hours “slack” to work with – lots more doable.
5. Once you’ve revised your actions, it’s time to work it into every day life. Plan on practicing a LOT to stick with your priorities. Forming new habits can be difficult so keep in mind why you want to!
This exercise can seem overwhelming until you consider the fact that we mostly don’t do any life evaluation at all. That’s why it usually takes a crisis to look at our priorities and our values. Give yourself lots of strokes for effort and never give up!
Success what is it and how can you have it - To learn more about this author, visit Sue Lindgren Hawkes's Website.
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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