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Success – what is it and how can you have it?

Written by: Sue Lindgren Hawkes

Article Overview: If you are like most people, success is defined by completing a vast “to do” list day after day after day. Stopping to consider your priorities and values doesn’t even make the list - who has the time? But that chronic busyness take a toll - in diminished health, unsatisfying relationships and just plain unhappiness. So, what can you do?

Success – what is it and how can you have it?

If you are like most people, success is defined by completing a vast “to do” list day after day after day. Stopping to consider your priorities and values doesn’t even make the list - who has the time?

But that chronic busyness take a toll - in diminished health, unsatisfying relationships and just plain unhappiness. So, what can you do?

Start by considering what success means to you. I asked focus groups of professional women in all different stages and circumstances in life, two questions: “What is success?” and “How do I know when I have it?” Surprisingly, most of the responses didn’t include accomplishment as part of the equation at all; success was consistently defined as an experience.

Success, it seems, has more to do with what you feel when your personal and professional needs and desires are being met; contentment, joy and peace. What causes this certainly includes external accomplishment, but more often it is linked to spending the “right” amount of time on the “right” combination of personal priorities - in other words, aligning your values with your actions.

One way to begin experiencing this new definition of success, is to ask yourself the same questions: “What is success?” and “How do I know when I’m being successful?” To clarify and deepen your responses, it’s effective to talk with someone (one-on-one or in a group) or journal about your answers. And take your time; it will pay off! As life shifts, plan to revisit this exercise to re-evaluate your priorities. Or, you can try this more specific exercise:

1. Look over the list below and choose your top three areas (no more) that you want to be your priorities (matching your values). The other areas matter too but they’re just not in the top three right now. Over time, this will shift as your life choices do, that’s why it’s helpful to do this again as you make changes.

Career/Job Community Education Family Finances/Money
Relationships Spirituality Body/Health Recreation/Leisure

2. In each of the three areas, write very specifically about what your “ideal” experience of life would be and what actions you can take each week to make your ideals a reality. Think of each area separately, that is, without considering the others, and don’t limit yourself.
3. Now, examine what you have written and see what’s how your proposed actions in each area might not work together. For example, let’s assume my top three areas are family, career and body/health:

Family Ideal: Intimate, supportive relationships with my kids and spouse.
Action: Hours per week:
Spend 3 hours with each kid 9 hours
Date w/husband 1x per week 4 hours
Eat together 3 days a week, 6 hours
Family day every weekend 6 hours

Career Ideal: Experience financial prosperity.
Action: Hours per week:
Make $250,000 this year 70 hours

Health/Body Ideal: Have physical/mental well being.
Action: Hours per week:
Good nights sleep each night 49 hours
Work out 3x/week - 30 minutes 1.5 hours
30 minutes time alone each day 3.5 hours
Total 149 hours
Total hours in a week 168 hours

This leaves me only 19 hours each week for commuting, errands, housework, paying bills, etc., plus the other seven areas! If I am honest with myself, I can see that this is wildly unattainable and would set me up for great discomfort. (By the way, almost all the women in my focus groups had expectations similar to these!)

4. Now, look again to see what’s negotiable and what’s not. Remember; work on your top three areas only. Let go of some activities and reduce others so that your end result is comfortably feasible. In my example above, I might cut down the family day to every other week, make my income goal compatible with a 60 hour work week and reduce my “alone time” to 30 minutes 3 times per week. Now I have over 30 hours “slack” to work with – lots more doable.

5. Once you’ve revised your actions, it’s time to work it into every day life. Plan on practicing a LOT to stick with your priorities. Forming new habits can be difficult so keep in mind why you want to!

This exercise can seem overwhelming until you consider the fact that we mostly don’t do any life evaluation at all. That’s why it usually takes a crisis to look at our priorities and our values. Give yourself lots of strokes for effort and never give up!

Related Articles
  What Success Means to People
  Success: What Does It Mean To You?
  What is Your Personal Definition of Success?
  Success Demands You Must Go Where You’ve Never Gone Before by Doing What You’ve Never Done Before
  The Role of Self-Confidence in Success

Article Tags: accomplishment, amount of time, body health, busyness, career job, community education, contentment, desires, different stages, education family, exercise 1, experience success, family finances, joy and peace, life choices, personal priorities, professional women, right combination, spirituality, unhappiness



Related Forum Posts
Re: THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD...RIGHT NOW!!! - Success = Thinking (Head) + Heart (Feeling / Interest) + Hand (doing/ action). Success - H3 Robert
Re: Success - I study success intently, and would like to share: Here's two excellent and nearly identical success-formulas from a couple of the world's masters. FIRST FORMULA: 1. Passionate Desire 2. Clear, Definite Purpose 3. Committed Decision 4. Take Action In Faith (Bonus Secret Sauce: 5. Repeat Consistently) I made a video about this, but am not allowed to link it yet. Google "Ryze Success Steps" for it. Oh, and this is Napoleon Hill's (Master Of Success Laws)'s Formula. SECOND FORMULA: 1. Passionate Desire 2. Understand It Is Already Done (Faith) 3. Relax & Allow It To Unfold (Go about your life calmly) This one is courtesy of Abraham-Hicks (inspiration for the movie The Secret). Hope that helps!
Success Strategies - How to get the results you want now? Success Strategies and Action Steps I have used are: The Power of Choice Where you are at this present moment, is exactly perfect from the choices you have made. If you want to be somewhere else, you have to decide clearly what that is (your goal/outcome) and create action steps to achieve this. The Power of Focus The book "The Power of Focus" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt, is one of my treasures in my Entrepreneur Library. If you focus on what you want versus what you do not want, your conscious and sub-conscious mind will direct attention to this. The movie, What the Bleep, Down the Rabbit Hole, explains this in detail about quantum physics and what we create in our lives. The Power of Commitment This is not about commitment to others. The first step is the commitment, your word, you make to yourself. Accountability and responsibility are additional success strategies and ingredients to creating the success, defined by you, that you want. The commitment to others reflects your integrity, your word and the team you work with. Co-workers, clients, yoru family, friends and community. My Success Acronyn in Success Breakthroughs(c) is: S pecific & self-directed U nlimited opportunities & possibilities C reate powerful outcomes C onsistent measureable results E xperience pwoerful transformation S olution and action-oriented S uccessful habits and outcomes Break Through to Powerful LIfestyle & Performance Choices Moira
Re: Books for the Entrepreneur - Here's one of my most recent books The 100 Absolutely Unbreakable Laws of Business Success By Brian Tracy
Re: What is your age? - Kevin, Success is the best revenge. they are telling the world that been raised by sinlge parent will not determine their success in life


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