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How to trust yourself

Written by: Gerry Maguire

Article Overview: “Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir Is there a “right” way to live and how do we know when we are successful? Is it based on our personal definition of success or our perception of our local society’s definition? In society there is a definition of success that, in the past, I have grasped to supplement my own limited ideas about what I wanted to do.

How to trust yourself

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir

Is there a “right” way to live and how do we know when we are successful? Is it based on our personal definition of success or our perception of our local society’s definition? In society there is a definition of success that, in the past, I have grasped to supplement my own limited ideas about what I wanted to do. The main components of this definition for me were:

Doing well at school (i.e. Staying to year 12 and getting high marks)

Going to university

Getting a stable job (preferably high paying)

Moving up the corporate ladder at a rapid pace

How much better would it have been if I was taught as a kid what I individually had to offer the world and given some guidelines on how to make that happen?

There are also plenty of sources to help us determine the “right” way to live. The major ones are advertising, the general media and our peer group. This advice can tell us the right:

Clothes to wear

School to send the kids

Location to live

Holiday locations

The major issues with accepting these definitions of “success” and “right” is they are not necessarily our own. It gets really strange when we start to get distressed and depressed about not achieving this “success” or being able to afford to live the “right” way. The depression and distress are strange because they are driven by things that we may not really want anyway.

The World Health Organisation figures on suicide rates show that this is not only sad but also tragic. Australian men suicide rates are the 26th highest in a ranking of 100 countries. This is despite Australia being the 25th richest nation of 206 as measured by the World Bank.

Another potential factor driving self doubt is our conditioning. Susan Jeffers in her book "Feel the Fear...& Do it Anyway" states that we are more likely to ask our kids to “Be Careful” rather than “Take some risks today”. She suggest that the “Be careful” carries a double message. The messages are that the world is dangerous and that you will not be able to cope with it.

This combination of not being taught what we individually have to offer the world (and not being able to define what success means personally) and believing that we will not be able to handle it even if we did know is lethal.

I propose two steps to start believing in you and trusting yourself.

1. Look for the opportunities in “failures” and “wrongs” and use them as a catalyst to change. I was once accused of being overly optimistic (it helps as a Richmond Tigers supporter). For example a failed exam is a catalyst to discovering a new study method or possibly a new course and

2. Recognise that your current life is a sum of your past actions and experiences. If this is accepted the natural is that the future is also going to be a result of your actions and experiences and you have the power to define what those future actions and experiences will be.

Follow the advice of Golda Meir in the opening quote and fan the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

“You must do the thing that you think you cannot do!” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Related Articles
  A Tryst with Trust
  Trust and Respect
  5 pillars of instant Trust
  Trust Comes First
  The Power of Trust

Article Tags: australian men, clothes, corporate ladder, definitions, depression, flames, golda meir, holiday locations, local society, peer group, perception, personal definition, rapid pace, self doubt, sparks, stable job, suicide rates, susan jeffers, world bank, world health organisation



Related Forum Posts
Re: Can you really get google ads for free? - This has A LOT to do with existing relationship you'd already have with the market, too. Honestly, if someone I trust produces a product and I am SOLD on his/her credibility based on their past performance, I don't need to read their sales letter whether it's short or long. It's the same way people buy Mariah Carey's CDs before they even listen to her new album, the same way people know Tom Cruise's new movie will be box office sell out. If there is NO trust simply because we don't know the marketer, then it doesn't matter short or long, it'll all look the same. That's not because what it says on the sales page, but the trust level of its approach.
Re: A Little Inspiration - I found that interesting as well because when I was a student at Ryerson in Toronto, in the 4 years I was there, I spent most of my time in team assignments. Every presentation, marketing case even accounting assigments we had to do in groups, we literally had no choice but to trust our classmates and friends. Looking back, it taught me to to trust others and the meaning of having more then one view point on something. And the more eyes on something, the better it really is.
Re: Do Your Prospects / Customers Trust You? - All good points everyone and I'm learning as I read through. Gaining trust takes a lot of time and even if you're an expert or a startup in the field that you're promoting or excelling with, still, you have to put enough attention on how you'll be able to establish value among your prospects and customers by giving them what they need (contents, contacts, ventures, etc) and not only by offering them services and selling them products. Thus, customers do trust us with the way we give them satisfaction first before they give something back in return.
Help to win smaller Business trust - Any company that has a phone switch and computers that tie back to a server. This is most medium to large companies. We have some large clients but I would like to have more but as I said before I need to find a way to get some face to face time with them to show them some pictures of work that we have done and to share with them some companies that we do work for. The companies that trust us now should help us win some of the smaller business's trust. Thanks
Doing What We REALLY Want As A Woman - [quote="janechin":24znksnz] That was what I meant, about how social conditioning had lured women into believing that they MUST be everything to everyone at all times. Now, I am not saying that we can't aspire to achieve and attain what we desire, as long as we know WHY we want WHAT we want. Often, we want what we think we SHOULD want based on our projection of societal (familial, peer) expectations, when in fact, some of us may not necessarily want something. Jane Chin[/quote:24znksnz] Jane, this is a good topic. I haven't seen your article yet, but I think the underlying pitfall is when we women seek to please others, rather than trust ourselves to do what fulfills us. I'm not thinking of this as a selfish process. Rather, if we trust our true womanly movitation (which just happens to be programmed as a powerful Mother's heart to all), we would operate from love, whether at home or in our business. Using our greatest talents and wisdom allows us to reach others effectively while enjoying ourselves immensely in the process. Of course we should be doing what we love to do. If we trust ourselves, what we would end up doing would fulfill a need in others anyway. Then, even in business, our focus would be offering something of value that makes a difference, not "selling". Warm regards, Tami


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