How to trust yourself
How to trust yourself
Is there a “right” way to live and how do we know when we are successful? Is it based on our personal definition of success or our perception of our local society’s definition? In society there is a definition of success that, in the past, I have grasped to supplement my own limited ideas about what I wanted to do. The main components of this definition for me were:
Doing well at school (i.e. Staying to year 12 and getting high marks)
Going to university
Getting a stable job (preferably high paying)
Moving up the corporate ladder at a rapid pace
How much better would it have been if I was taught as a kid what I individually had to offer the world and given some guidelines on how to make that happen?
There are also plenty of sources to help us determine the “right” way to live. The major ones are advertising, the general media and our peer group. This advice can tell us the right:
Clothes to wear
School to send the kids
Location to live
Holiday locations
The major issues with accepting these definitions of “success” and “right” is they are not necessarily our own. It gets really strange when we start to get distressed and depressed about not achieving this “success” or being able to afford to live the “right” way. The depression and distress are strange because they are driven by things that we may not really want anyway.
The World Health Organisation figures on suicide rates show that this is not only sad but also tragic. Australian men suicide rates are the 26th highest in a ranking of 100 countries. This is despite Australia being the 25th richest nation of 206 as measured by the World Bank.
Another potential factor driving self doubt is our conditioning. Susan Jeffers in her book "Feel the Fear...& Do it Anyway" states that we are more likely to ask our kids to “Be Careful” rather than “Take some risks today”. She suggest that the “Be careful” carries a double message. The messages are that the world is dangerous and that you will not be able to cope with it.
This combination of not being taught what we individually have to offer the world (and not being able to define what success means personally) and believing that we will not be able to handle it even if we did know is lethal.
I propose two steps to start believing in you and trusting yourself.
1. Look for the opportunities in “failures” and “wrongs” and use them as a catalyst to change. I was once accused of being overly optimistic (it helps as a Richmond Tigers supporter). For example a failed exam is a catalyst to discovering a new study method or possibly a new course and
2. Recognise that your current life is a sum of your past actions and experiences. If this is accepted the natural is that the future is also going to be a result of your actions and experiences and you have the power to define what those future actions and experiences will be.
Follow the advice of Golda Meir in the opening quote and fan the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
“You must do the thing that you think you cannot do!” – Eleanor Roosevelt
How to trust yourself - To learn more about this author, visit Gerry Maguire's Website.
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“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir
Is there a “right” way to live and how do we know when we are successful? Is it based on our personal definition of success or our perception of our local society’s definition? In society there is a definition of success that, in the past, I have grasped to supplement my own limited ideas about what I wanted to do. The main components of this definition for me were:
Doing well at school (i.e. Staying to year 12 and getting high marks)
Going to university
Getting a stable job (preferably high paying)
Moving up the corporate ladder at a rapid pace
How much better would it have been if I was taught as a kid what I individually had to offer the world and given some guidelines on how to make that happen?
There are also plenty of sources to help us determine the “right” way to live. The major ones are advertising, the general media and our peer group. This advice can tell us the right:
Clothes to wear
School to send the kids
Location to live
Holiday locations
The major issues with accepting these definitions of “success” and “right” is they are not necessarily our own. It gets really strange when we start to get distressed and depressed about not achieving this “success” or being able to afford to live the “right” way. The depression and distress are strange because they are driven by things that we may not really want anyway.
The World Health Organisation figures on suicide rates show that this is not only sad but also tragic. Australian men suicide rates are the 26th highest in a ranking of 100 countries. This is despite Australia being the 25th richest nation of 206 as measured by the World Bank.
Another potential factor driving self doubt is our conditioning. Susan Jeffers in her book "Feel the Fear...& Do it Anyway" states that we are more likely to ask our kids to “Be Careful” rather than “Take some risks today”. She suggest that the “Be careful” carries a double message. The messages are that the world is dangerous and that you will not be able to cope with it.
This combination of not being taught what we individually have to offer the world (and not being able to define what success means personally) and believing that we will not be able to handle it even if we did know is lethal.
I propose two steps to start believing in you and trusting yourself.
1. Look for the opportunities in “failures” and “wrongs” and use them as a catalyst to change. I was once accused of being overly optimistic (it helps as a Richmond Tigers supporter). For example a failed exam is a catalyst to discovering a new study method or possibly a new course and
2. Recognise that your current life is a sum of your past actions and experiences. If this is accepted the natural is that the future is also going to be a result of your actions and experiences and you have the power to define what those future actions and experiences will be.
Follow the advice of Golda Meir in the opening quote and fan the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
“You must do the thing that you think you cannot do!” – Eleanor Roosevelt
How to trust yourself - To learn more about this author, visit Gerry Maguire's Website.
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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