Tweet

Why create time to be alone

Written by: Gerry Maguire

Article Overview: But what is the value of spending this alone? Neither the Dalai Lama nor the massage therapist let me know their thoughts, so I did a bit of research. One of the articles that I discovered was by Keith Renninson. He is a Vietnam vet turned motivational speaker and author. He talked about using the time alone to develop a personal life philosophy and then to check in with ourselves on a regular basis to confirm what is working and what isn’t working.

Why create time to be alone

A friend last week was telling me how much she had enjoyed living in London in the early part of this decade. She had enjoyed the vibrancy and the culture but a strange image made her question whether this was the long term lifestyle for her. Each day while going to work she noticed more and more people with white pieces of wire hanging from their ears. It was the time of I Pods and each day it seemed that more and more people were joining the revolution. This innocuous observation triggered something in my friend’s mind that made her question this lifestyle, the pace of life and her priorities.

This again made me think about finding time to be alone and how difficult this can be living in a large city. Running has been my time alone for over 30 years and it has helped me make some sense of what is happening around me from the hormone driven teenage years to the mutli vitamin driven middle age years.

But what is the value of spending this alone?

Neither the Dalai Lama nor the massage therapist let me know their thoughts, so I did a bit of research. One of the articles that I discovered was by Keith Renninson. He is a Vietnam vet turned motivational speaker and author. He talked about using the time alone to develop a personal life philosophy and then to check in with ourselves on a regular basis to confirm what is working and what isn’t working. This seems like a good idea but I was never taught how to check in with myself to develop my own personal philosophy. I was taught how to get high marks so that I could do whatever I wanted to do.

In hind sight it seems a bit strange that there was not more emphasis on how to develop my self knowledge. This would have helped determine what it was that I wanted to do.

So in the absence of self knowledge I did the next best thing and that is did what my family, friends, media, politicians or teachers told me is the right thing to do.

As a dad I see this is a challenge to help my kids work out their own philosophies, to determine what they want to do with there life.

One of the things that I will encourage is for them to spend time alone. I will probably have to get over being called a freak but I will actively make opportunities for them to have those deep and meaningful solo conversations.

The following are some specific thought starters that I intend to share with my kids to initiate this solo discussion:

* Reflect on your past present and future. What makes you happy? What makes you angry?, How can you get more of the former and less of the later
* Discover how you really feel about issues without anyone else’s input.
* Listen to your thoughts.
* Compare your ideas and options.
* Appreciate that you can make good choices.

How to create this time alone in our life? A real commitment needs to be made. There is no need to become a monk or a nun or sail solo around the world. Renninson asks himself each morning if he is happy with the direction of his health and fitness, his professional life and his social life. I use my time running or doing yoga to have that inner conversation about the status of my life. For some it is really tough to find that time that can be spent alone. This is usually because of family and work commitments and when any time is available being deep and meaningful is not at the top of the “to do list”.

However just like an advertising campaign “take the challenge”, you may find that the time you give yourself helps create time in your life overall. Set 15 minutes in your diary or in outlook or your PDA or whatever time management tool you use 4 times per week over the next 4 weeks. You may find it helpful to have a pen and paper handy to write any insights or decisions that you make.

You will then have your own answer to the topic of this article “Why create time to be alone”.

Related Articles
  Psst! Do You Know Who’s Talking About You?
  The Victim
  How to create your lifestyle?
  Blogging The Easy Way Is More Than A Trend
  Getting Into the Mindset For Creative Writing

Article Tags: dalai lama, ears, family friends, finding time, hind sight, life philosophy, living in london, massage therapist, middle age, observation, personal life, personal philosophy, philosophies, pods, politicians, priorities, self knowledge, strange image, teenage years, vietnam vet



Related Forum Posts
Website Design - I handle my own website design and maintenance along with several other businesses. I like being able to make changes when I want without having to go through someone else and wait for their schedule. I'm very happy with my hosting company and learning to create the site wasn't that complicated, so the flexibility of making changes when I need them is certainly worth the time. I also have 9 years of design experience and its easier for me to create what I want and need instead of taking the time to explain to someone else. Shri
Are you an Opportunity Addict? - 1) if you find yourself saying yes without thinking about how it will affect your other priorities 2) you have over 10 projects/inventions going on at the same time and this seems normal to you 3) you have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on manufacturing, prototypes, etc. not to mention thousands of hours of your time....but you havent followed through on any of it 4) most of your projects are falling behind or have completely fallen off your radar....which is fueling your frustration The first step in recovery is to recognize this as a pattern of self sabotage. If you are clear in what your overall goals and objectives are, you should be able to create a lens through which you measure opportunities. You create your life, and your to do list. Change, Add, Remove, Adjust time-lines - whatever you like. But remember that every piece of unfinished business - stays that way J
Re: Burn all your bridges inorder to succeed?? - I hear what you are saying, Kevin. In other words, sometimes "creating the need" is exactly what gets us moving! I think it can work when you know you are ready and you BELIEVE you can. However, I believe it's not the only route. One way is to "create a need" without having to burn the bridge. If you are working full time, you can make "small needs" which cause you to grow at the pace you want to. For example, if someone is struggling to write a book, they might arrange a spread out series of speaking engagements on the topic of the book. The time commitment requires them to get writing the speech for each date. Then they can simply translate the speech to the book. So, how can you create a "small need" in your current entrepreneurial endeavour? This is when a Coach comes in handy as you clarify what you want and create an accountability plan to help you stay true to what you want. That's why so many business people and corporations pay for Coaching. The return on investment can be quite remarkable! Have fun thinking of ideas! Tami
Re: Are you an Opportunity Addict? - [quote="TheRainmaker":dj3zt8wk]1) if you find yourself saying yes without thinking about how it will affect your other priorities 2) you have over 10 projects/inventions going on at the same time and this seems normal to you 3) you have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on manufacturing, prototypes, etc. not to mention thousands of hours of your time....but you havent followed through on any of it 4) most of your projects are falling behind or have completely fallen off your radar....which is fueling your frustration The first step in recovery is to recognize this as a pattern of self sabotage. If you are clear in what your overall goals and objectives are, you should be able to create a lens through which you measure opportunities. You create your life, and your to do list. Change, Add, Remove, Adjust time-lines - whatever you like. But remember that every piece of unfinished business - stays that way J[/quote:dj3zt8wk] Hi Jude, In life there are so many great things to do and experience, but often so little time... Therefore, to lead a more fulfilling life, is it better to try something new or to put all of your efforts into something you're already passionate about and become an expert in it?
Should the forums transition into a social networking site? - Should EvanCarmichael.com (and more specifically its forums) transition into a social networking site? My one complaint about this site has always been that the authors on Evan's site have to create an extra account to use the forums (and vice versa). Wouldn't it be easier if a person only had to create one user profile and be allowed to create forum posts, post videos, pictures, blogs, contribute business articles, search for others to outsource work or form partnerships, etc? What does everyone else think?


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

How do I finance a franchise?

Here's a great ROI

Leading from Authenticity is a Beautiful Thing

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.