The Bookend Process of Engagement
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Free Download - Different Influencing Styles By Debora McLaughlin |
The Personal Power of Influence means to be influential in identifying our goals and achieving them, being able to influence others to support us in our goals, and to become a force of influence in the world in which we live.
Where we most get hung up is in being able to influence others. Let me share with you one technique that puts the wand of influence into your merry hands quickly and easily: Bookends.
When I think of bookends I could think about the lovely carved wooden ones that hold my leadership books, or the two stone link golden retrievers that keep my business books from battling it out, but what instantly comes to mind is the technique I share with my clients that lends itself to more effective communication.
Wouldn't you agree that it is hard to influence others without a tool bag of good communication skills? Think of bookends as your best all in one screwdriver.
When we start a conversation, we usually like to get to the heart of the matter. We make observations, share requests, give feedback or simply complain or whine. Sometimes you get what you want from the other person; on average, you get some compliance. If you took a moment to provide a bookend, both at the start and at the end of your conversation, you will greatly improve your ability to influence and engage the other person.
So what is a bookend and how do you use it?
A bookend is 17 seconds of positive regard. Psychological studies indicate that if you can engage with positive interaction for 17 seconds, the rest of your conversation, irregardless of subject matter will fly by easily. Start by book ending your conversation with something positive about the other person, commenting on their work, their fortitude, their presence, their dedication, whatever suits the situation. Then dig into your conversation (and do not start with a "BUT"). Once you have shared your request, observation or feedback, simply book end it again with another positive regard. This ending technique puts the bow on effective communication. "Joe, I am confident you can meet that deadline. It was great conversing with you; I always learn something when I am with you. I am glad that you are part of my team, I know we can get this done."
Try a bookend or two today, let me know how it goes!
The Bookend Process of Engagement - To learn more about this author, visit Debora McLaughlin's Website.
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Kim CastleWith nearly two decades in the advertising and design business, with clients like Domino's Pizza, General Motors, Direct TV, Pedigree, Wolfgang Puck, Higher Octave Music, Hollywood Celebrity Products, Disney, and Paramount, as well as thousands of entrepreneurs around the world define, structure, communicate, and position their business for greater profits, BrandU(R) co-creators Kim Castle and W. Vito Montone discovered that entrepreneurs could experience the same power that big brands command for a fraction of the cost with the world's only process-based results-drive Integral approach to business creation. BrandU(R) is helping entrepreneurs grow with the power of extreme clarity from idea...to brand...to market(TM) and helping one million entrepreneurs become successful and whole so that they can make a difference in the world. Are you one of them? If you want to experience clarity all the way to the bank(TM), get started now at http://www.brandu.com. - Visit Kim Castle's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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