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Beware of Sharks in Dolphin’s Clothing

Written by: Chellie Campbell

Article Overview: Have you ever noticed that some of the people who profess to be the most loving, spiritual people are some of the most angry, awful, judgmental people you’ve ever met?

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Beware of Sharks in Dolphin’s Clothing

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”—Mark Twain

Have you ever noticed that some of the people who profess to be the most loving, spiritual people are some of the most angry, awful, judgmental people you’ve ever met?

I’ve been noticing a lot of sneak attacks from Sharks in Dolphin’s Clothing lately. They profess to be your friend or your mentor, but God spare us from such friends. Under the guise of being helpful, they “take your inventory”, point out your character defects, lack of training, age (either too old or too young), and just generally make you feel inadequate. Sometimes they’re aware of what they’re doing, and sometimes not. The result is the same.

I’m changing a few details of this story so that the individuals involved are not clearly recognizable, but I wanted to share with you the actions you can take to ward off these sneaky shark attacks:

One of my friends told me that a business mentor of hers said that she was going to have a difficult time in her new profession since there was a lot of competition out there and she didn’t have the appropriate experience to succeed (or words to that effect). Well, Mama Dolphin Chellie gets very protective of her people when she hears put-downs like that! Here’s what I wrote back:

This woman you mention may be a wonderful business person and do a lot of good in the world, so I am not going to say she’s a bad person…BUT! The responses she is giving you are certainly not helpful to you nor are they appropriate for a “mentor” who is supposed to be helping. It sounds like she has an “old school” mentality, and is rather rigid in her assessment of what might make someone qualified to be successful. It reminded me of the fight women had to get ahead in the workplace. No credit was given for women’s ability to manage a household, the family finances, the time-management and organizational skills it takes to get a team of people running smoothly as a group, and the sales ability to get kids to do their homework, pick up their room, etc. or to get a husband to remember their anniversary. The coaching, diplomacy, teaching, bookkeeping, financial skills needed to run a household absolutely translate into being talented and accomplished at many jobs, including yours. I invited you to make a personal inventory of your skills in the same manner and translate that into business skills, which would include the ability to be of loving service in nurturing others and to care deeply for others well-being. And you have how many years of experience at that?

As for your work being “too New Agey” – what does she mean by that anyway? Too soft or too fun or too touchy feely or too what exactly? I always find comments like that rather funny. Sort of like when the woman at the NAWBO meeting I spoke at told me after the speech that I really should dress more appropriately if I was going to talk about a serious subject like money (a reference to my gold tennis shoes). Well, she sold suits for a living, so I knew where she was coming from. And I understand that some people won’t like that I wear tennis shoes, but other people are charmed by it – and those are “My People” and she was “Not My People”. I would suggest that your “mentor” is “Not Your People” – not bad, not wrong, but just not YOURS. I’ll bet there are bunches of people who ARE Your People and will love everything about what you stand for and what you do. And they’ll even like things that are “too New Agey” too, I’ll bet.

Whatever you do, don’t take any one person’s disparagement of your skills or business model to heart before you test it for yourself. If you talk to this woman in the future, talk about the weather, or movies, or food, but don’t ask her for any advice because she probably can’t give you any that is constructive. One mentor might not be great for you where another one is. Try them all on for size, proud of who you are and relishing the differences between who you are and what you do and all the things that others might do. People will come who like you and what you have to say. Rely on it! The best revenge is living well, so go out and prosper helping others prosper!

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About the Author: Chellie Campbell
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Chellie Campbell is the creator of the popular Financial Stress Reduction® Workshops, and the author of The Wealthy Spirit and Zero to Zillionaire, both published by Sourcebooks, Inc. She is one of Marci Shimoff's “Happy 100” in her current NYT bestseller Happy for No Reason and contributed stories to Jack Canfield’s recent books You’ve Got to Read This Book! and Life Lessons from Chicken Soup for the Soul. She is prominently quoted as a financial expert in The Los Angeles Times, Pink, Good Housekeeping, Lifetime, Essence, Woman’s World and more than 35 popular books. For more information, visit her web site www.Chellie.com or email her at Chellie@Chellie.com.   Follow Chellie on Twitter http://twitter.com/ChellieCampbell


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