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Failure to Communicate

Written by: Casey Dawes

Article Overview: How many business problems could be solved by simply communicating more effectively? This article explores the possibilities.

Failure to Communicate

I feel like I could write this entire article in one sentence:
When in doubt, over-communicate.

If there is one thing that could make your business run more smoothly and efficiently, it’s improved communication. (It could probably do a lot for your personal life as well!) I see it time and time again. Contracts fall through, things don’t get done or relationships get strained when people don’t communicate effectively.

For example, I just had a situation with one of my clients. I was waiting for an answer from her and she was waiting for an answer from one of my contractors. I finally picked up the phone and called. After a few minutes of conversation, I was able to get the project back on track and re-started. If I hadn’t done that, though, what would have happened?

Chances are, someone’s feelings would have been hurt. Assumptions might have been made. A general “dis-ease” would have fallen over the project. Once the project finished, we probably wouldn’t have worked together again.

In another situation I was having problems with my email. I wasn’t getting mail from many people. Again, I picked up the phone and called people from whom I was expecting a response. Sure enough, they were becoming annoyed because I hadn’t responded to their email.

We all do it. We all feel that someone must be ignoring us. Or that we have offended them in some way. Or we get nervous about picking up the phone because we think the other person will find us “pushy.”

Yet, that’s simply not true. If there is a message that you aren’t receiving, there can be many reasons that the person isn’t calling. They may not have gotten the message. A crisis may have occurred in their lives. Or they simply may have forgotten. We are human.

So, if you need an answer, pick up the phone. Emails have a far greater chance of getting lost in the air, or misinterpreted. Postal mail takes too long. Get on the phone and ask for what you want. Be persistent.

Do it today – reach out and touch someone you need to talk with.

I’ve had many conversations with colleagues and clients over the past week about communications. Many women business owners are frustrated! So if you find yourself in one of these situations, reach out and communicate!

You made a promise to do something and you find you can’t keep it. Life happens. Women get that. What we need to know is, if you can’t meet a deadline, let us know that in a timely manner and give us an idea when you can get back to it.

You have to tell someone, “No.” My husband has been looking for a job for several months now. There were at least two occasions when he went through several interviews with local companies (including a company who is on this list). Then? Nothing. No communication at all. No matter how many times he followed up. Not even an email saying, “We’re sorry, but this is not a good match for us.” To me, that’s just plain rude.

Someone has crossed a boundary. Sometimes we, as women, we let things go when we shouldn’t. Or, worse yet, we talk about the problem with everyone except the person who caused it. If someone has crossed a boundary, or you think that they have done something wrong in some way, pick up the phone or go to see them. This is one occasion where email won’t do. There’s too much room for misunderstanding.

You need to take time to think about something. I sometimes get emails or phone calls requesting a response that I need time to think about. I may not have time right then. So I contact the person and let them know approximately when I’ll get back to them.

When you catch someone doing something good. Complements are always appreciated!

So, how do you communicate?

First, if it’s an emotional conversation (like if a boundary has been crossed), calm down first. You actually may want to talk with a disinterested third party (like a coach) before having the conversation. This helps you get out all your anger/hurt and also helps you get clear on what you want to say.

Decide what it is you want from the other person. Perhaps it’s nothing at all, as in the case of letting someone know you will get back to them later. Perhaps you want a response that the other person has gotten your email, as when you are telling someone that you will be late with a deliverable. Then – and this is really important – ask for what you want!

When having the conversation, be as clear as you possibly can. Give details.

Avoid the constant use of the word, “you.” Try to avoid the blame game. There’s too much of that going around already. Instead try the phrase, “When you to X, I feel Y.”

Good luck on your courageous conversations! I invite you to let me know about your conversations or any issues about communication that you feel I haven’t addressed. I’m sure that there are many!

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Article Tags: assumptions, contracts, dis ease, email, feelings, few minutes, personal life, postal mail, relationships, when in doubt



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