I recently heard a touching story about a person most people would see as extremely successful. He has an international reputation, has made tons of money, been interviewed as an expert on national television, has a beautiful family, and lives what most of us would call "the good life". Except that he "feels like a fraud."
As I heard the details of his story, it was clear that he has "done all the right things, collected all the blue ribbons and jumped through the hoops", but he has not figured out how to live a life
that is truly his own.
Later, I recalled something I heard about a definition of success a teenage girl once gave. It was during a discussion of a group of middle-school kids and after all the comments that success was
about money or power or fame, one girl quietly said, "I think success is living your life the way you want to." For her, success was not about popularity or sports or good grades. It was choosing her values, setting her goals, and living a life that satisfied her.
At age 15, she already understood that no one could deny her the ultimate success of living well and enjoying "a life of one's own".
As the story of the 40-something entrepreneur unfolded, it became clear that he has never "gotten" that. In some ways, he is still trying to please other people, trying to be popular, trying to win first prize. For all of his money, fame and power, he is not successful in his own eyes.
Success is living your own life. Success, with a small "s", is winning a prize, getting the promotion, making more money, or having a bigger house. Achieving those things is important and
worthwhile, but only so long as we understand they only lead to "success", and rarely to success!
Many of the people who contact me for coaching - not all, but many - are discovering that being the most popular kid in school is not enough. I suspect the rise and fall of the stock market in recent years has permitted many people to have far more "success" than they expected, to lose much of it, and to discover that neither success nor loss are as satisfying as they expected. That leads to the obvious question, "Is that all there is?"
The answer has always been right in front of us. Success is not about allowing peer pressure to tell us how to dress, how to dance, what music to listen to, or later in life, what car to drive.
Success, with a capital "S", is living our own life, in our own way, consistent with our values. It is about choosing our priorities, doing things that are meaningful and important, about staying the course, finishing what we set out to do, and making a difference in the world.
Highly success people have always known that in the end, success is about following your heart, living with passion, loving people and making a difference. Some do this by building a business, or by creating art or music. Some do it in politics or education. Some seek cures for the world's diseases or to help cultures understand each other and live together in peace.
The keys to achievement, motivation and ultimate success are in our own heart. As Tony Robbins has said, people are not lazy, they just have inadequate, hollow or uninspiring goals. Find the goals that truly inspire, challenge and excite you, then stay up all night and work all day to achieve your destiny. Success is not something to be chased, it's something to be celebrated by living
our own life, on our own terms, every day.
Living Life On Your Terms - To learn more about this author, visit Rodger Blaker's Website.
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Rodger Blaker
(Visit Rodger's Website)
Rodger Blaker Coaching LLC
Phone: 214-485-2238
www.rodgerbla
ker.com
Rodg
er@rodgerblaker.com
Rodger is a Professional Certified Coach
who is an expert at creating positive
change in business behavior, working with
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