Tweet

Are You Putting on an Act?

Written by: Todd Linaman

Article Overview: Lights! Camera! Action! When the spotlight of life is focused on you, what do people see? Are you an actor just playing a role or are you the “real thing?” Are you willing to let people see who you really are? Hollywood actors are paid big bucks to portray a make believe character on the silver screen, but there are many people outside of “Tinsel Town” who put on a very convincing act every day without ever being paid a dime. In fact, many of them pay a high price.

Are You Putting on an Act?

Lights! Camera! Action! When the spotlight of life is focused on you, what do people see? Are you an actor just playing a role or are you the “real thing?” Are you willing to let people see who you really are? Hollywood actors are paid big bucks to portray a make believe character on the silver screen, but there are many people outside of “Tinsel Town” who put on a very convincing act every day without ever being paid a dime. In fact, many of them pay a high price.

You don’t have to be a Hollywood star or public figure to be concerned with the way others perceive you. All of us are involved in personal image management to some degree, and in most cases, this is perfectly normal. In fact, thinking about who you will be with and what you will be doing is a reasonable way to determine what “image” to put on by dressing and behaving appropriately in a given situation.

There is nothing inherently wrong with putting your best foot forward in order to make the best impression possible. However, some people go too far to prevent others from seeing their “real self.” They hide behind a manufactured image in an effort to win approval, recognition and acceptance. Unfortunately, in order to keep up the charade, many people end up compromising their own personal values and needs.

People most likely to mask their real self are those who are overly concerned about what others think of them. They rehearse conversations in advance in order to avoid looking foolish, or they mentally revisit and analyze past interactions, often becoming embarrassed or angry with themselves because they wish they had said or done something differently.
“Masking” can be expressed by only saying what you think others want to hear, withholding your ideas and opinions because they may not be valued or well received, or ignoring your true feelings because you don’t want to “rock the boat” or appear weak and vulnerable. The fear underlying the motivation to mask your thoughts and feelings comes from the belief that people will not accept or approve of you just the way you are.

It isn’t easy to overcome fears of rejection and criticism, and it can be very self-defeating and painful to believe that you don’t measure up. If you struggle with putting on an act for others and want to change, here are some basic, practical strategies to help you begin the process.

First, regularly remind yourself that you would worry a lot less about what people think about you if you realized how little they really think about you. Frankly, most others are pretty focused on their own image management and don’t have time to analyze your every word or action.

Next, make an honest assessment of yourself. If you have habits or characteristics that you don’t like, work on changing them. Are you shy and awkward talking to people? Take a class in public speaking or join a group which shares your interests and gives you an opportunity to converse about a topic that excites you. Do you feel intimidated around highly informed, intelligent people? Try reading the newspaper, articles of interest and good books to expand your knowledge. Are you unhappy with your body image? Talk to your doctor about how to gain or lose weight in a healthy manner (and act on his or her advice). As you work on yourself, remember, everyone has weaknesses, including the people you are working so hard to please.

Of course, there are some things about yourself that you cannot change, and that’s where acceptance comes in. Accepting yourself can be extremely liberating, especially when you discover that other people are more willing than you realize to accept you as well. Ironically, it is usually our weaknesses – and our efforts to overcome them – that draw others to us.

It is also critically important that you understand and accept the fact that you will not be approved of or liked by everyone you meet. Everyone has different expectations and preferences, so trying to be all things to all people will only result in confusion, frustration and disappointment. Do what you can to be your best, and if it’s not good enough for someone else, remember that it’s their choice – and their loss.

Maybe the most powerful strategy you can use to enhance your image is practicing acceptance of others. As you turn the spotlight off yourself and focus on accepting and appreciating the people you meet, you will experience more confidence, more openness and more sincerity in your relationships.

They say a friend is someone who knows you well and loves you anyway. Every human being needs to be loved and to feel worthwhile and competent. It is through genuine relationship that these needs are ultimately met.

Now, where’s that camera? Let’s get a shot of the “REAL YOU!”

Related Articles
  Article #9 Collecting Shopping Carts at Walmart Just to Put Food on the Table?
  Hard Working Entrepreneurs– Do You Procrastinate? Want To Find Some Extra Time?
  If You're So Good, Stop Thinking So Damn Much
  How To DeClutter Your Life
  How To Stop Procrastination

Article Tags: assertiveness, authenticity, be yourself, communication, genuiness, transparency



Related Forum Posts
Selling a Service - What sort of service are you trying to sell? I have a good friend who headed up the marketing for a good number of service companies and showing pictures of before and after (if applicable) is good. Putting together a flyer with a bulleted list (quick and easy to read) of the benefits to the customer and testimonials from satisfied customers are all great ways to help sell your service. Cold calls are horrible and I've done them, but never liked it. Besides, your normal return on cold calls is low. I joined a BNI (Business Networking International) networking group to promote my home improvement business and that worked well. I got to know the members and many used my services. At this point they were able to refer qualified leads to me. Let me know what you're selling and I can try to think of some other ideas. Chris
What is your hit ratio? - Like most entrepreneurs I have more ideas for where I want to take my business than I can handle. I believe in the "fail early, fail often" philosophy and try to find small ways to get started on a project to see if it has any legs. I would estimate that for every 50 things I try, most of them don't have an impact for me, 10 of them have a slightly positive impact, and 1 hits it really big. Some of my big wins over the past few years have been: * Learning the ins and outs of search engine optimization to drive traffic * Putting up and optimizing Google AdSense ads to monetize the website * Deciding to be the leader in profiling famous entrepreneurs online * Recruiting outside authors to help contribute to the website content (now have over 25,000 pages) * Creating the entrepreneur forums * Bringing on staff to help cope with the daily amount of work required to keep things running smoothly What is your hit ratio and some of your big wins?
Using your home for collateral is one thing, but... - Putting up your home for collateral is one thing, but utilizing the equity in it to finance a business is a whole other ball game and could be damaging in the long run. Do you know that if you completely finance your business with home equity instead of a busienss loan you will not be able to obtain a working capital loan later down the road? should you run into some financial troubles or wish to expand or remodel with working capital loan, you won't be able to get it if you finaced by personal means. It's always best to build a track record with a lender for future use and it's always better to be in business debt rather than personal debt. I always say: "You wouldn't hire a Plumber to do the Electrical in your home, so why would you finance a business using your home equity? Equity loans are for your home, business loans are for your business. You may however, utilize some of the equity in your home for loan down payment (depending upon your qualifications) and we can help determine whether that would be more helpful or damaging to your loan by pre-qualifying you for free. when using your home for collateral, it doesn't necessarily mean you will lose your home (in the event you cannot pay your loan payments). Lenders are always willing to work with you once you have a loan with them and they have already taken on the risk. they typically only utilize what they lien if nothing else can be resoloved (so it's basically a last resort) to go after what they lien.
Re: What is your hit ratio? - [quote="Evan":2jfsvw6z]Like most entrepreneurs I have more ideas for where I want to take my business than I can handle. I believe in the "fail early, fail often" philosophy and try to find small ways to get started on a project to see if it has any legs. I would estimate that for every 50 things I try, most of them don't have an impact for me, 10 of them have a slightly positive impact, and 1 hits it really big. Some of my big wins over the past few years have been: * Learning the ins and outs of search engine optimization to drive traffic * Putting up and optimizing Google AdSense ads to monetize the website * Deciding to be the leader in profiling famous entrepreneurs online * Recruiting outside authors to help contribute to the website content (now have over 25,000 pages) * Creating the entrepreneur forums * Bringing on staff to help cope with the daily amount of work required to keep things running smoothly What is your hit ratio and some of your big wins?[/quote:2jfsvw6z] That's pretty impressive Evan! When I was younger it was probably 1/5 things i would try would work out. I would come up with 100 different ideas but only act on some of them. My biggest issue was not following all the way through, or having to much going on at one time. I read a quote today that fits with this idea. “A minute's success pays the failure of years.” - Robert Browning


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

2011 Global Brand Trends Letter

Sales Courage and Resilience

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.