Keys to Confronting Well
Keys to Confronting Well
1. Objectively describe your concern
Stick to the facts only when describing your concern or complaint. If you begin by talking about the other person’s motives or intentions, you’re likely to trigger a defensive or angry reaction.
2. Avoid making it personal
Address the action or behavior without attacking the person with criticism, name calling or blame. Negative personal comments can damage your relationship, even into the future.
3. Keep your comments brief and to the point
Reserve the lectures for the classroom because they never benefit relationships. If your goal is to influence positive behavioral change and resolution, less is more.
4. Resist getting sucked into an argument
If your comments are met with hostility, blame or defensiveness, fight the temptation to argue your position. Instead, state what you believe needs to be said and then end the conversation. Arguing is often destructive and will likely make the situation worse.
5. Avoid getting sidetracked
It’s easy for irrelevant or unrelated issues to sneak into a discussion when confronting a difficult issue. Commit to only addressing one concern or complaint at a time, and it will increase the likelihood of an acceptable outcome.
6. Express your thoughts and feelings
Expressing what you feel openly and honestly at the outset of a difficult conversation will help to reduce anxiety and diffuse pent up emotion that might otherwise escalate during the discussion. For example, stating, “I am angry” will actually help prevent anger from controlling your responses.
7. Remember that it’s far better to be respected than to be liked
Although the person you are confronting may not like what you have to say, if you appropriately communicate your concerns, they are much more likely to respect you and be willing to cooperate with you to resolve the conflict.
8. Keep your emotions, especially anger, under control
Increased volume and hostility are never good substitutes for reason and self-control.
9. Clearly state what you want or need
When confronting an issue, people are often quick to identify what they don’t want, but tend to forget to clearly communicate what they do want. Remember, if what you want or need is understood, you are more likely to get it.
10. Keep your expectations realistic
Unmet expectations lead to disappointment, so keep them realistic, both for yourself and the one you are confronting.
Keys to Confronting Well - To learn more about this author, visit Todd Linaman's Website.
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Most people fear confrontation. The thought of speaking up – especially during a conflict or uncomfortable situation – can be almost paralyzing. However, the ability to effectively confront tough issues by clearly stating what you think, feel, and want can be one of the most valuable interpersonal skills a person can possess. The ten keys listed below can help prepare you for those difficult conversations.
1. Objectively describe your concern
Stick to the facts only when describing your concern or complaint. If you begin by talking about the other person’s motives or intentions, you’re likely to trigger a defensive or angry reaction.
2. Avoid making it personal
Address the action or behavior without attacking the person with criticism, name calling or blame. Negative personal comments can damage your relationship, even into the future.
3. Keep your comments brief and to the point
Reserve the lectures for the classroom because they never benefit relationships. If your goal is to influence positive behavioral change and resolution, less is more.
4. Resist getting sucked into an argument
If your comments are met with hostility, blame or defensiveness, fight the temptation to argue your position. Instead, state what you believe needs to be said and then end the conversation. Arguing is often destructive and will likely make the situation worse.
5. Avoid getting sidetracked
It’s easy for irrelevant or unrelated issues to sneak into a discussion when confronting a difficult issue. Commit to only addressing one concern or complaint at a time, and it will increase the likelihood of an acceptable outcome.
6. Express your thoughts and feelings
Expressing what you feel openly and honestly at the outset of a difficult conversation will help to reduce anxiety and diffuse pent up emotion that might otherwise escalate during the discussion. For example, stating, “I am angry” will actually help prevent anger from controlling your responses.
7. Remember that it’s far better to be respected than to be liked
Although the person you are confronting may not like what you have to say, if you appropriately communicate your concerns, they are much more likely to respect you and be willing to cooperate with you to resolve the conflict.
8. Keep your emotions, especially anger, under control
Increased volume and hostility are never good substitutes for reason and self-control.
9. Clearly state what you want or need
When confronting an issue, people are often quick to identify what they don’t want, but tend to forget to clearly communicate what they do want. Remember, if what you want or need is understood, you are more likely to get it.
10. Keep your expectations realistic
Unmet expectations lead to disappointment, so keep them realistic, both for yourself and the one you are confronting.
Keys to Confronting Well - To learn more about this author, visit Todd Linaman's Website.
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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