Values: Your Compass for Life - Part II
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Values: Your Compass for Life - Part II
Why Passing on A Life Compass Matters
While there’s no guarantee that your offspring and heirs will follow your example in life or wholeheartedly embrace your beliefs, methods or values, don’t underestimate the impact you can have on your family. It’s always worthwhile to make the effort to pass a compass for life to the next generation. Here are some practical ways you and your loved ones will benefit from living by clearly defined values.
Being directed by a values-based life compass…
1. Helps you to make better quality decisions
Once you know and understand your personal values, you can consult them whenever you need to make an important decision. Should you accept the new job you've been offered? Should you start a new business? Should you begin or end a relationship? Should you move your family to another state? These can be tough decisions that, in and of themselves, may not have a clear right or wrong answer.
Too often, decisions are based upon or motivated by fear rather than values. You are more likely to second-guess or even regret fear-based decisions, but you will generally feel much more confident about value-based decisions because they are consistent with the way you view yourself and want to live your life.
2. Identifies the circumstances and people that do and don’t support your values
If you’re values-focused, you want to associate with people who will add to your life in positive ways. As they say, it is better to soar with eagles than to run around with turkeys.
3. Gives you greater peace and a clear conscience
If you have ever made a decision and/or engaged in a behavior and then afterwards had a sense of uneasiness or discomfort, chances are it’s because what you did was not consistent with what you value. Living in alignment with your values will produce a peace and sense of satisfaction that will greatly improve your quality of life.
“There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.” French Proverb
4. Gives clearer direction to goal setting
As with decision making, our values provide a highly effective template for our personal and professional goals. Once you decide to live with the end in mind, your goals could change radically.
5. Fuels passion and enthusiasm
In order to exude passion and enthusiasm day in and day out in your business and personal life, your attitudes and actions must be aligned with your values. It takes far too much energy to “fake it” for the long haul, and constantly ignoring, or fighting, what you value will eventually take its toll.
So you see, values serve as your compass for life. Faithfully trust and rely upon them and you will reach your desired destination. Ignore them and you will experience conflict, confusion, distraction and derailment. In short, you’ll get lost.
How to Help Others Chart Their Course
Know and tell your own story
Everyone has a story. What’s yours? How did you get where you are today? What worked and what didn’t? Failure is often a better teacher than success. Don’t be afraid to admit you goofed, because your legacy will grow deeper if others can relate. My father was very good at telling his story; in fact I often tell people that I remember my dad’s childhood better than my own!
Spend the time and effort to build a quality compass
I’m not going to tell you that creating a legacy is easy, but it’s doable and it’s worth it. Here are some practical ways to build a compass that will guide your family for years to come.
1. Walk the talk - Modeling
Children are natural imitators. The degree to which our children and grandchildren learn what we attempt to teach them is in direct proportion to how consistent our actions are with our words.
• If you value generosity – never stop giving
• If you value education – never stop learning
• If you value honesty – always tell the truth
• If you value family – consistently spend time with them and speak well of them whether they’re present or not
• If you value compassion – always help others in need
Life’s most important lessons are more often caught than taught.
2. Confront misdirection
Don’t stand by when you see the signs and symptoms of misdirection. Children who are behaving in a way that doesn’t reflect your family’s values need consistent reminders: “I don’t expect this behavior from you. Stop and think about who you are and what we value, and then behave accordingly.”
3. Talk, and ask good questions – Family Meetings
Take advantage of teachable moments. Life events, movies, TV, news stories, song lyrics and school lessons are all rich sources of opportunity to discuss how your family’s values compare and contrast to the world around you.
Ask open-ended questions that draw more than a “yes” or “no” response, like “what if…” and “what are your thoughts about…” Ask questions about what your loved one would do or how they would act under specific circumstances.
Talk openly about your wealth and what it means to you. The amount of detail you share regarding amounts, sources, expenses, etc., is up to you, based on your comfort level. But the role it plays in your life and decisions, as well as your opportunities and responsibilities, needs to be communicated. While this principle applies to the whole spectrum of “wealth” – from families who are just getting by to billionaires - parents with large incomes and significant assets need to be more open with their kids at earlier ages in order to start preparing them earlier and better for the realities of managing wealth.
4. Give and recommend inspiring books, audio CD’s and DVD’s
The books my mother gave me starting in childhood strongly influenced the development of my compass for life. I enjoyed reading about people – real and fictional – who overcame terrible odds, who chose the high road, and who learned great lessons from their lives and circumstances. Learning about heroes made me want to be heroic. Good guys made me want to make wrong things right. People who achieved great things made me want to succeed.
5. Create an audio, written or video journal
Leaving something tangible for posterity can be priceless. My mother told her story verbally and she journaled regularly. This gave her children and grandchildren a real sense of where we came from.
My grandmother created a video of her story and what she valued most and a copy will be given to each of my children. There is no doubt they will treasure it.
You can do the same for your family. Write a brief autobiography emphasizing the values that guided your decisions. Tape yourself talking to your children and future generations. Keep a journal of your day to day life or just the high points. Not only will it benefit your children, but it will also help you keep your own life heading in the right direction.
6. Create a family mission statement
A growing number of families are drawing up family mission statements – documents filled with words like "legacy," "values" and "stewardship" that aim to carry their families and their wealth safely through the generations.
These statements, also known as family constitutions, strategic plans or family codes of conduct, can range in length from a single sentence to multiple pages. They can address everything from inheritance and philanthropy to religion, education and the purpose of material wealth. Some even define what constitutes "the family" (i.e., in-laws sometimes don't count).
One goal of mission statements is to draw up moral guides for future generations, so that kids and grandkids will inherit values as well as money.
7. Give visual reminders - Symbolize your values
Life offers many opportunities for gift-giving. Birthdays, holidays, milestones, accomplishments, or “just because I love you.” These occasions can be a great time to reinforce your family values through symbols. For example, I have always had a fascination with hour-glasses. To me, they represent the passing of time and the importance of measuring every hour and not wasting this precious, finite resource. My office décor now includes several beautiful hour-glasses I have been given over the years. Other gifts I have treasured include bookends that support my love of reading and a wooden gavel that appeals to my sense of justice for all. These articles serve as a daily reminder of some things that are important to me. I especially love receiving thoughtful, value-based gifts from my children because I know that the process of selecting the gift also reminded them of things I want them to learn.
Construct Your Life Compass Using VALUES
If you are already intentionally navigating your life with a compass of strong values, I congratulate you – and your heirs will thank you! If you’ve been drifting, today is the day to begin planning how you will influence the generations that will follow you. It’s not too late to be sure people will say good things about you, and mean them, at the funeral!
In Conclusion…
Verbalize - Talk about what’s important to you openly and consistently.
Act - Demonstrate your values through your behavior and lifestyle.
Love - Consistently express love. It gives you a greater position of influence.
“People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
Understand - Know what really matters and avoid majoring on the minors. A lack of understanding can alienate and undermine your relationship.
Expect - Maintain positive expectations for those you love.
“People often receive from life exactly what they expect.”
Support - Encourage, affirm and reinforce positive decisions and actions.
“Do not walk through time without leaving worthy evidence of your passage.” - Pope John XXIII
Values Your Compass for Life Part II - To learn more about this author, visit Todd Linaman's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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