Have you ever “gotten stuck” with someone?
You want to move on and meet other people, and you have no idea how to do so politely. It appears that the other person would also like to network with others, and, she, too, fidgets nervously rather than ending the conversation.
You’re not alone. Many people are so concerned with starting a conversation that they give no thought to extricating themselves. In fact, most workshops deal with creating a Verbal Business Card followed by your elevator pitch and give little thought to ending what you may have successfully started.
Be upbeat
Your last words are as important as your first words. Plan and rehearse (if necessary) exit statements. Since at least 90 percent of your message is communicated through your body language and vocal tone, rate, pitch and inflection, keep an “open” stance and sound upbeat. You can easily tell the difference between people who say, “It was nice meeting you,” and you think, “Yeah, sure” vs. those who sincerely say, “It was nice meeting you.”
When to do it
· After about 10 minutes
· When the other person’s eyes noticeably begin wandering around the room, i.e., the “lounge stare”
· When others shift their stance toward other people in the room or toward the door
· When the conversation lags
· When the other person repeatedly answers in a monotone with nothing words like “interesting,” “hmmm,” “really.”
How to do it
· Ask for the other person’s card if you do not yet have it.
· Set up a time to call or meet with the other person.
· Excuse yourself shortly after another person has joined the conversation and introductions have been made.
· Be up front. Be cordial and begin your remarks with “It has been nice talking with you and …
o I will keep your card on file for when I need …”
o It’s my first time here, and I would like to meet some of the other members, too.”
o I haven’t been here for six months, and I want to rekindle some acquaintances.”
o I can only stay for an hour, and I want to say “hi” to several other people.”
o I’d like to continue this conversation. May I call you next week?”
o I’ll e-mail you that referral tomorrow.”
o Would you like to have lunch sometime?”
And when all else fails:
o “I want to get something else to eat (or drink).”
Say good-bye to everyone you met
Plan time at every event to spend a minute or two saying good-bye to everyone you met. Keep it short, upbeat and positive, and always use people’s first name (which you will have remembered!)
· “Kelly, it was nice meeting you. I’ll call you Thursday.”
· “Bob, thanks again for the tip on the stock market.”
· “Mary, I’ll call tomorrow to set up a lunch meeting.”
· “Ken, I’ll call my associate tomorrow to share how you can help him with ... ”
How to End a Conversation - To learn more about this author, visit Lillian D. Bjorseth's Website.
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Lillian D. Bjorseth
(Visit Lillian's Website)
Lillian Bjorseth helps you build a new
kind of wealth - social capital - by
improving your networking and
communication skills. She's a speaker,
trainer, coach and author who has
benefitted tens of thousands of people
nationwide through her customized people
skills programs. Lillian believes that
networking and good communication are the
21st century tools to build relationships
that help increase sales and enhance
careers. She urges large companies to
embrace the concepts that small business
has long used successfully. Her zest to
have colleges and universities teach these
skills has led her to develop one of the
first online in-depth
relationship-building series. She's author
of "Breakthrough Networking: Building
Relationships That Last", "52 Ways to
Break the Ice & Target Your Market",
andthe "Nothing Happens Until We
Communicate" CD/workbook series. She's a
contributing author to "Masters of
Networking"
and co-presenter of the "Marketing Boot
Camp" DVD/workbook.
Lillian was among the first in the world
to become a certified DISC trainer. She
was named a Great Woman of the 21st
Century.
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