Focus On Results Not Personalities
Focus On Results Not Personalities
Basically, the question is: how do you get people to work together and be productive, to respect one another regardless of whether they like one another, and to communicate in a supportive and positive manner?
This is not an easy question to answer because there are so many variables to consider including people’s self esteem, their level of personal development, and their ability to communicate and handle emotions effectively as well as leadership’s behavior in not tolerating negativity/digs/gossip/complaining and their willingness to cultivate a culture of excellence that nurtures the best in people.
In this article, we will explore the difference between liking the people you work with versus doing your job. Future articles will address other aspects of creating a work environment that works.
Liking Your Coworkers Is Not A Requirement
Whether you like someone or not is your own personal opinion. It’s judgment. And it is irrelevant on the job. As a leader, you look beyond your own personal opinions and act with courtesy and respect. Treating others with respect, valuing them as human beings and for the contributions they make, demonstrates the best of who you are and serves to bring out the best in others.
When did you ever like everything about another individual? Always there will be things you like and things you don’t like. Leaders focus on the good stuff. Look for, acknowledge and celebrate what is good about the people around you. People are so used to being negative or to hearing negatives about themselves that this is what they are accustomed to and expect, meaning people are constantly on guard and ready to defend themselves. Or else they have already been beaten down into submission. A respectful environment needs to be nurtured and vigilantly cultivated by not allowing the negatives and by encouraging and celebrating the positives.
If you don’t enjoy being around or working with a particular individual, think of it as an opportunity to expand yourself and your ability to communicate with grace. You learn to manage the relationship in the workplace the best you can and choose not to spend extra time with that person outside of the work environment. If the relationship is unbearable and there is no chance it will ever get better, if you have done all you can to change your approach with this person, then you may need to consider another job. Your responsibility first and foremost, is to yourself and you are responsible for managing your career as well as your level of happiness. There is no reason to remain unhappy or miserable because of a negative environment or a particular person.
Instead of focusing your attention on others, focus on what you can control: you. Do your job to the best of your ability and master your craft. This is what work is all about. In exchange for the value of the work you do, you receive a paycheck with some benefits. Whether you like the person next to you or not is not part of the package. You get paid to perform. Getting along with others in order to fulfill the mission of the organization is an important component of your job. It’s not about liking people; it’s about getting things done. You don’t have the right to impede progress by focusing on personalities. By doing so, you waste both company and human resources.
Look In The Mirror
People are mirrors for us. If there is some quality you observe in another person, ask yourself, “What does this tell me about me?” Often the very thing you see in another person requires attention for yourself. What is it about them that you have difficulty with? Is it about them and what they are doing or is it something you need to better learn how to handle? Don’t be so quick to judge; they may be able to help you learn about yourself and move beyond this limitation.
Your job in life is to be better at being you. Use these instances as opportunities to evolve yourself. Where are you being judgmental? Judgment is the good/bad, right/wrong, like/dislike. Often when people are quick to judge others it is because they are quick to judge themselves. If you learn to be more compassionate with yourself, learn to like and appreciate yourself, learn to honor and respect yourself, guaranteed you will be more compassionate and respectful with others. Start by recognizing and appreciating the good qualities in YOU. As you do, you will start to treat others with more humanity, accepting their flaws as well as their greatness.
We Are In This Together
Life doesn’t always present us with pretty lessons. Sometimes lessons are messy and come in the form of “coworkers.” But the reality is that we grow through life together. So even though your situation may seem challenging, look for ways to learn, to lead, to grow. Look for ways to applaud others. Refuse to participate in any conversation that is demeaning or destructive to another human being. To participate is to dishonor and disrespect you as much as everyone else involved. It can’t feel good to you to beat someone up verbally. There will always be things you like and other things you don’t like about the people around you and even about yourself. That’s life. Focus on the things you like and you will experience more joy. If you celebrate the best in others, they will be more likely to continue to shower the world with their best. And you will learn to appreciate that each of us is doing our best with what we have. We are all on this journey together and when our lives intersect, you can choose to make a positive impact that propels people forward by using respect and appreciation, or you can choose to tear people down. It’s your choice: What kind of impact do you wish to make?
Focus On Results Not Personalities - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Fuimano's Website.
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In response to my recent article entitled “Emotional Buttons,” one recruiter writes: “Please help me understand how this concept works in a group setting; for example nurses working as a team to get a job done, but who do not get along with each other at all. As a recruiter I am very concerned with retention and would prefer that people do not opt to leave the unit.”
Basically, the question is: how do you get people to work together and be productive, to respect one another regardless of whether they like one another, and to communicate in a supportive and positive manner?
This is not an easy question to answer because there are so many variables to consider including people’s self esteem, their level of personal development, and their ability to communicate and handle emotions effectively as well as leadership’s behavior in not tolerating negativity/digs/gossip/complaining and their willingness to cultivate a culture of excellence that nurtures the best in people.
In this article, we will explore the difference between liking the people you work with versus doing your job. Future articles will address other aspects of creating a work environment that works.
Liking Your Coworkers Is Not A Requirement
Whether you like someone or not is your own personal opinion. It’s judgment. And it is irrelevant on the job. As a leader, you look beyond your own personal opinions and act with courtesy and respect. Treating others with respect, valuing them as human beings and for the contributions they make, demonstrates the best of who you are and serves to bring out the best in others.
When did you ever like everything about another individual? Always there will be things you like and things you don’t like. Leaders focus on the good stuff. Look for, acknowledge and celebrate what is good about the people around you. People are so used to being negative or to hearing negatives about themselves that this is what they are accustomed to and expect, meaning people are constantly on guard and ready to defend themselves. Or else they have already been beaten down into submission. A respectful environment needs to be nurtured and vigilantly cultivated by not allowing the negatives and by encouraging and celebrating the positives.
If you don’t enjoy being around or working with a particular individual, think of it as an opportunity to expand yourself and your ability to communicate with grace. You learn to manage the relationship in the workplace the best you can and choose not to spend extra time with that person outside of the work environment. If the relationship is unbearable and there is no chance it will ever get better, if you have done all you can to change your approach with this person, then you may need to consider another job. Your responsibility first and foremost, is to yourself and you are responsible for managing your career as well as your level of happiness. There is no reason to remain unhappy or miserable because of a negative environment or a particular person.
Instead of focusing your attention on others, focus on what you can control: you. Do your job to the best of your ability and master your craft. This is what work is all about. In exchange for the value of the work you do, you receive a paycheck with some benefits. Whether you like the person next to you or not is not part of the package. You get paid to perform. Getting along with others in order to fulfill the mission of the organization is an important component of your job. It’s not about liking people; it’s about getting things done. You don’t have the right to impede progress by focusing on personalities. By doing so, you waste both company and human resources.
Look In The Mirror
People are mirrors for us. If there is some quality you observe in another person, ask yourself, “What does this tell me about me?” Often the very thing you see in another person requires attention for yourself. What is it about them that you have difficulty with? Is it about them and what they are doing or is it something you need to better learn how to handle? Don’t be so quick to judge; they may be able to help you learn about yourself and move beyond this limitation.
Your job in life is to be better at being you. Use these instances as opportunities to evolve yourself. Where are you being judgmental? Judgment is the good/bad, right/wrong, like/dislike. Often when people are quick to judge others it is because they are quick to judge themselves. If you learn to be more compassionate with yourself, learn to like and appreciate yourself, learn to honor and respect yourself, guaranteed you will be more compassionate and respectful with others. Start by recognizing and appreciating the good qualities in YOU. As you do, you will start to treat others with more humanity, accepting their flaws as well as their greatness.
We Are In This Together
Life doesn’t always present us with pretty lessons. Sometimes lessons are messy and come in the form of “coworkers.” But the reality is that we grow through life together. So even though your situation may seem challenging, look for ways to learn, to lead, to grow. Look for ways to applaud others. Refuse to participate in any conversation that is demeaning or destructive to another human being. To participate is to dishonor and disrespect you as much as everyone else involved. It can’t feel good to you to beat someone up verbally. There will always be things you like and other things you don’t like about the people around you and even about yourself. That’s life. Focus on the things you like and you will experience more joy. If you celebrate the best in others, they will be more likely to continue to shower the world with their best. And you will learn to appreciate that each of us is doing our best with what we have. We are all on this journey together and when our lives intersect, you can choose to make a positive impact that propels people forward by using respect and appreciation, or you can choose to tear people down. It’s your choice: What kind of impact do you wish to make?
Focus On Results Not Personalities - To learn more about this author, visit Julie Fuimano's Website.
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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