|
|
Like this article? PLEASE +1 it! |  |
|
Focus on What You Want Rather Than What You Fear
| Guest post by: Julie Donley |
Article Overview: We create our own realities by how we think. Take charge by refocusing on how you want things to be. Ground yourself in reality and focus on what you want to create rather than what you fear.
 |
Free Download - Staying Healthy Over the Holidays By Julie Donley |
Focus on What You Want Rather Than What You Fear
"I have a new boss. With recent layoffs and downsizing, my boss gave up my area to a new director. My head is swimming with thoughts about how she will treat me, what she will expect. I'm nervous that she will find a way to get rid of me. I'm just so scared of what might happen with this new change."
All of us can relate to feelings of fear especially when they are born from thoughts about change that is out of our control.
This fear is created in your mind from thoughts that craft the worst case scenarios. Your imaginary center goes wild constructing dramatic stories about a potential - and often negative - outcome. There is no fact to the story; it's a fantasy. In choosing to give this thought process your attention, fear erupts within you as you anticipate this outcome becoming your future reality. Then you experience the "fight or flight" phenomenon and this physiological reaction makes it feel so real.
But it's not real. It's a story concocted in your mind. Your mind is playing tricks on you.
Stop. Step back from your thoughts and look at the facts. What do you know and what is unknown? You can succumb to the fantasy created by your untamed mind OR you can decide to embrace reality and take control by making good choices about what you would like to see happen and who you'd like to become in the process.
In the case with my client above, he has no idea what this new boss wants or how she feels about being shuffled into this new position. His first step is to be curious about the new boss and to learn what she needs from the manager in order to be successful in her new post. Yes, your job is to help your boss be successful.
Then he can ask for what he wants and needs from his new boss.
By being proactive, my client can set expectations for his new boss as he describes the department and how things work.
Awareness of the emotional reaction and the thoughts causing it is crucial for gaining control. Once you are aware, then you can take a step back and ask how you'd like things to be moving forward. You can craft a new story that focuses on success and identify the role or part you will play in making it reality.
You can expect success and take actions to create that success or you can allow your fear to take over forcing you to shrink, stress out and feel powerless.
Fear does not bring out your best qualities. It takes away your courage, forcing you to shrink, be less effective and less productive as you waste time in worry-land.
Chances are the new director has her own fears and concerns about how she will handle the new area and how people will receive or accept her in this new role. The manager can be confident and make it easy for the two of them to come together in partnership to create a good working relationship or he can allow his worries to take charge and make the relationship rocky, at least to start.
Your power is in your ability to manage your fear and to take action to create a better future.
- Envision what you want – for the relationship and for the operations of the department.
- Find out what the other person’s goals are. What do they envision? What do they need and want?
- Make direct requests for what you need and share your desires and ideas.
- Together, come up with a clear vision or direction for your department and your relationship.
As you begin working together, you can make adjustments and corrections and keep the lines of communication open. By addressing things directly and talking about what is on your mind, you demonstrate leadership and create not only a good working relationship but help to lessen the fear you each have.
We create our own realities by how we think and the stories we tell ourselves. Take heed when fear has you create negative fantasies and instead, stop and take charge by refocusing on how you want things to be. You are much bigger than your fear! Ground yourself in reality and focus on what you want to create rather than what you fear.
The two things that kill marketing creativity
DON'T LET THE RECESSION SCARE YOU.
Healthy Fear
Fear vs. Courage
Are You Marketing With Adrenalin?
When Fear Holds You Back
The Art of Being Fearless: Knowing and Overcoming Fear In Everyday Business Life
The Fear Factor
Find fear before it finds you
Speaking Beyond Your Fears
FACING THOSE SMALL FEARS
Fear
Are your economic fears imprisoning you?
Niche Marketing Fears & Reasons For Those Fears From Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
The Other Side of Fear
Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How
Is This Four Letter Word Hurting Your Business?
How is Fear Impacting Your Sales Success?
Leadership Assessment #4 – Lack of Fear
Are You Frozen By Fear?
Article Tags: communication, fear, overcoming fear, work relationships
|
About the Author: Julie Donley RSS for Julie's articles - Visit Julie's website Click here to visit Julie's website   Coming to Terms With the Past Six Steps to Managing a Negative Work Environment The Answer to Your Prayers Self Management is Critical for Handling Problems Assert Yourself |
Related Forum Posts
Re: Quote of the Day - ?"Where focus goes energy flows." - Tony
- Focus on a single task, eliminate millions of disractions
Re: Fear of Success
- You don't need to fear success. We should embrace it. Fear is define by a man of God as
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real.
the meaning is what we fear most does'nt come to pass
Other Great Books...
- Feel The Fear And Do It AnyWay - Susan Jeffers
How To Stop Worrying And Do It Anyway - Dale Carnegie ('What's the worst that could happen - the worst?' Then prepare yourself for that and reality is such a relief!).
Re: Five Personality Traits of Successful Business Owners
- 1. Focus
2. Ability to Adapt
3. Hard Work
4. Good planning
5. People Skills
Entrepreneurs to profile
- Here are my suggestions:
Howard Schultz, Founder of Starbucks
Jason Jiang, Founder of Focus Media
Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.
Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.
Featured Article
by: 
Best Automated Forex Trading Strategy
Build Your List with Joint Venture Giveaway Events
May 2012 Top 100 Social Media Experts to Follow on Twitter
What to measure to be phenomenally successful in business
10 mistakes of media relations
Newsletter
Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!
Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!
Popular Articles
How To Calculate A Minimum Fee For Your Services
Top Ten Home-Based Businesses
Working Across Borders
How To Calculate A Minimum Fee For Your Services
Top Ten Home-Based Businesses
Working Across Borders
Suggestions
Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.
Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.