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Initiating Change

Written by: Julie Donley

Article Overview: An article of 1221 words describing four simple steps on how to initiate positive change in your life.

Initiating Change

Most people avoid change until one of three things occurs:
1) The pain of the situation becomes unbearable,
2) They are obligated to change by forces outside of their control, or
3) They see something in the future that is so much better that they choose to pursue their pleasure rather than continue to put up with what they have.

Sharon is a client who knew she was unhappy but did not know where to begin to make her life great. She simply knew she did not want to continue to live her life this way. If given the chance, she would opt to erase her life as it is and start over from scratch. And that’s exactly what she did. Divorcing her husband of seven years, she moved to Florida where she had always dreamed of living. She has found meaningful work and is now in a new relationship.

Not everyone wants to change their life that drastically where they divorce, change cities, change jobs – literally, recreating their lives. But most people walk around unhappy at some level. There is just no reason to live an unhappy life. I’m not referring to an unhappy moment or a bad day; everyone goes through those moments from time to time. I’m talking about the unhappiness that permeates your world. You hate getting out of bed. You don’t have anything to look forward to. You hate going to work. You hate coming home. You are not happy in your relationship. One or more areas of your life are unsatisfying and if given the opportunity, you would change in an instant – if you knew how and if you had the courage.

Well, you could wish upon a star that things would be different, wait to win the lottery, or hope for a genie in a bottle. (Good luck with that one.)

Initiating change is difficult. It's not easy to do something different and chart a new course. Not only is it difficult because of the fear you might experience as well as the energy required to envision, plan, and take new actions; you will also hear the naysayers in your life telling you the fears they have for you and how they feel about what you should be doing with your life. Other people prefer the status quo as much as you. No, change requires a personal commitment to yourself and to creating something better.

Although initiating change on your own behalf is challenging, it is the easier and softer way. If you ignore the signs or postpone change you know you need to take, the universe will force you into change. When change is needed, the universe gives you a little tap on the shoulder. It’s that sense you get that something needs attention. You avoid or deny it. You procrastinate; hoping things will spontaneously get better or be different. Then, the tap becomes a nudge, and then it smacks you so hard you can no longer avoid taking action. The “smack” might come in the form of an illness or death of someone close or perhaps a layoff. The universe will get its way.

If instead, you can act from a position of power, be proactive and learn to initiate change in your best interest - difficult as it might be - then at least you can get ahead of the change rather than running behind it.

Here are four simple steps to initiate change on your own behalf and make your life better starting today!
1) Identify your frustrations, stressors, struggles - everything that is unhappy for you and anything that you feel you are putting up with in your life, work, relationships, and home. Identify your “pain.” What is hurting you? What do you hate about your life? Awareness is crucial. It is one way to empower yourself to make things better for you. Face everything – awaken from your denial and stop avoiding the pain. Here is the paradox: your pain will go away once you face it. By holding onto the pain, you keep yourself stuck. You may be used to the pain and it might feel comfortable. You have to be prepared to move beyond the pain. Only you have the power to release yourself from its grip.
2) Eliminate these minor annoyances once and for all. Stop putting up with everything that is substandard in your life. Some things will be easy to eliminate; others will require a plan of action. Some things will require years for transition while others can be corrected immediately. Commit to living a great life and to saying “no” to everything that does not align with your vision for a great life.
3) Yes, you need to have a vision for a great life! Envision your life at peace, yourself happy – what would your life be like if things were exactly the way you want them to be? Remember, life is always in progress - life is a journey, not a destination. Part of the learning is how you are “being” not just what you are “doing.” When you envision your life as you would want it to be, envision the person you are in that dream. You will be different. Your future self is waiting for you to express itself.
4) As you eliminate things that don’t fit into your vision, you have space to now add only those things that bring you joy. Say “yes” to you now. Commit to living a great life by giving yourself permission to create that life in the way you choose. This means only doing the things you like, with the people who bring out your best, at the places you enjoy. If you’re not enjoying yourself, if it doesn’t feel good, then why are you doing it?

Getting comfortable with change requires faith and belief in yourself and in your ability to create what you want for yourself and your life. It does require courage; there is always a bit of fear with change. Fear let’s you know that you’re moving outside of your comfort zone. It’s a good place to be because it means you are stretching yourself, challenging yourself. And only by challenging yourself can you move beyond your current situation to create what you really want.

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Article Tags: bad day, change cities, coming home, courage, fear, fears, genie in a bottle, good luck, jobs, lottery, meaningful work, naysayers, pleasure, relationship, scratch, seven years, unhappiness, unhappy life



Related Forum Posts
Re: Spellcheck? - [quote="TheAnonymousMan":2f894q6j]When discussing the majority of people I would definitely say that most people hit the "Change" or "Ignore" button without thinking too much about the correct spelling of a word. All bosses are concerned about is getting the report to the Directors meeting on time.[/quote:2f894q6j] That probably depends on what the "majority" are trying to accomplish. I have word set to alert me about misspellings and grammatical problems, so I fix most as I go. But I also add names etc to the dictionary because I get tired of seeing the red and green squiggles when I know the info is right. If you're only going to click "Change" or "Ignore" then why bother to take the time to use spell check????? Business people that I work for want the info compiled in a timely manner and they want it right - which is fine because that's the way I strive to do any project. Sending out a memo, letter, report etc with obvious spelling and grammatical mistakes makes the person and the company look bad as far as I'm concerned. Shri
Re: e-Commerce and e-Payment providers - Hi GT It is only fairly recently that people in South Africa have been able to get full use of Paypal as we were only able at one time to make payments but not receive them. Fortunately this has now changed. I have received money through Global X Change for one of the affiliate programs that I promote and have found them pretty good as the money is normally transferred directly into my bank account within 2-3 days and I have not had any problems with them. MichelleJ
Re: Obama Wants Social Security for Illegals - [quote="Alan Mater":3kaa8sg4] Obama WILL make changes... but they're not the changes we as a country need or should look forward to.[/quote:3kaa8sg4] Sad but this is exactly how I feel about it. Change is coming - but unless I'm really wrong, it is not a change this country needs. Amazing how much a good speaker with a good speech writer can do. If you paid attention to the things he said "off script" - much of it is frightening. Chris
Are you an Opportunity Addict? - 1) if you find yourself saying yes without thinking about how it will affect your other priorities 2) you have over 10 projects/inventions going on at the same time and this seems normal to you 3) you have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on manufacturing, prototypes, etc. not to mention thousands of hours of your time....but you havent followed through on any of it 4) most of your projects are falling behind or have completely fallen off your radar....which is fueling your frustration The first step in recovery is to recognize this as a pattern of self sabotage. If you are clear in what your overall goals and objectives are, you should be able to create a lens through which you measure opportunities. You create your life, and your to do list. Change, Add, Remove, Adjust time-lines - whatever you like. But remember that every piece of unfinished business - stays that way J
You are too young - I don't really believe (I've been into web designing for 7 years now... I started in 2000) there is any web design laws. Besides the fact that you can't use copyrighted images on web design without permission from the original author. Also, any web designs you do you may want to have it copyrighted so other's can't steal your idea's or whatever... of course, you can offer a "Copyright Change" option for a bit more money that will allow you to be able to transfer the copyrights and give exclusive rights to the purchaser. All in all, don't worry about the laws... you should be fine, just remember that if your in the U.S. that if your making over $400 (or maybe its $600) in revenue, you'll have to pay taxes to the government... and please get a LLC, although its not a big thing with web designs, you could get into legal trouble somewhere in the business. Lastly, use contracts for when your selling or use agreements to clear the air so that you can have a safe business and you'll have some backing up if you ever are taken to court.


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