Tweet

Lead with Values

Guest post by: Julie Donley

Article Overview: Living by your values ensures that you are free to be you and that you enjoy yourself.

Lead with Values

What is important to you in life? Do you know what your values are?

Values are those things that are priorities. These can be anything from nature and beauty, adventure, learning, having fun, or honor and integrity. You know these things because when you see them in others, they bring you joy. When you experience them for yourself, they bring you joy. And when you don’t have enough of them in your life, you feel empty, like life has lost meaning.

Too often, however, we live life without our values leading the way.

Perhaps you never sat down to examine and clearly identify what you value most.

Perhaps you are quite clear what you value but life’s challenges have gotten in the way and the choices you have made have led you further from what is important to you. This happens when your needs are strong and seem so important that they trick you into focusing your attention on satisfying them in the moment and you stop making choices based on your values.

Needs feel strong. Personal needs are feelings that you are lacking in some way and they make it seem like they have to be satisfied immediately or else. Because your self-worth cannot function with a void, you will go out of your way to fill that void and satisfy that need. The need can be for recognition or for attention; you might feel the need for power or to be in control.

Whatever the need, if you make that need most important, then you put your values second and this costs you dearly.

Real needs such as shelter, clothing and food are survival needs and they are essential for life. When you are in survival mode, it is easy to put emphasis and focus on meeting these basic needs first and putting values second. Beauty hardly seems important if you are starving. Although even in doing this, there is a chance you can lose yourself and lose that part of you that loves and trusts and has faith because your values are not being honored.

The more you focus attention on something, the bigger it grows. So if you focus on getting needs met and not on fulfilling your values, then your needs seem to grow bigger and bigger. What you are truly focused on is the ‘lack’ or the ‘void’ and your attention goes toward filling that lack.

Values, on the other hand, fill you up without much effort. If connection is important to you, for example, then focus your attention on finding ways to connect with people throughout your day. Do this instead of thinking about how lonely you are without a life partner. Look for the love you already have in your life and, the more you find it (it is everywhere!), the bigger it will grow and the more satisfied and fulfilled you will be even without a love partner.

Susan put ‘survival’ over her values by staying at a job that did not fit her value structure. It was a cut-throat environment with bullying and backstabbing. Instead of leaving, she tolerated it for quite some time with the ‘excuse’ that she needed the job to survive; she needed money.

While that may be true, she did need to make money to pay her bills; she didn’t honor herself. And when we don’t honor ourselves, we lose ourselves. The cost is high.

Susan had succumbed to the environment and did not see that there were choices – the choice to leave. Once she decided she could no longer put up with it – the stress was impacting her health – she began to seek new employment. This created a shift in her where she reclaimed her power and rediscovered her values. She found a job whose culture more closely matched her values. She felt free – lighter and happier than she had in years. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

All that time, she needed to shrink, to pretend, to ‘walk on egg shells’. She could not be herself for fear of verbal assault, of not fitting in, or of being ridiculed. This is no way to live!

When your values lead the way, you never forget who you are. It is easier to stand up for yourself. You do what is ‘right’ which means you live in integrity. There is freedom here.

When you live by needs – the need to impress or to gain something from others, you put your power in the hands of others and it hurts. Needs are illusions; you have all you need. There is always enough – more than enough – and you are complete. If you feel you need something, it is best to ask for someone to meet that need for you; own it, in other words, rather than being at the mercy of it.

Living by your values ensures that you are free to be you and that you enjoy yourself. Leading by your needs, however, will feel as if you have to chase something and that you are not good enough without this thing that seems to be missing. It is not a relaxed feeling; it is a stressful feeling.

What do you value? What is most important to you as you go about your daily life? First identify the value and then find ways to incorporate that value into your life each day. You will find over time that you spend less time worrying about whether there is enough or if you are good enough, and instead, you’ll enjoy life more.

Related Articles
  Top Ten Ways to Design Your Destiny
  Inspirational Leaders Are Driven By Values
  Are you spending time on things you value?
  Reactive vs. Proactive & Core Beliefs
  What are my business values?
  Are You Living Your True Self
  Walking Your Talk & Running Away With Your Ideas
  Are you interesting enough?
  Pick the Right Keyword Type for Cost-Effective PPC Campaigns
  Discovering and Living by Your Core Values
  Are You Searching for the Summit
  Do Your Values Drive or Derail Leadership? Part 2
  Five Undeniable Laws of Leadership
  Its not fair!
  Coaching Tip: Identify Your Core Values
  Being True to Your Values
  What makes your values so special what did you say they were again
  Time Management of Activities to Soar Your Energy
  Keep Values Simple
  Understanding Your Strengths and Values: Key to Finding Your Passion at Work

Article Tags: integrity, Leadership, priorities, values



Related Forum Posts
Re: Essential Leadership skills - Vision Values Mission Strategic Thinking Decision Making Communication Team Bonding People Development Coaching / Mentoring / Guiding / Grooming Presentation Thanks Robert
Re: My Favorite Book For Entrepreneurs In 2010 - Lead The Field. By Earl Nightingale. I have read the book more than 7 times, since I bought it in 2008
Re: Books for the Entrepreneur - Lead the field by Earl Nightingale is a winner everyday. Though it is original audio messages, but I read the book every month. Every Entrepreneur should have it.
Re: Review My: Trump 4 President Site - Trent, Thanks a lot. I appreciate the comment about run win lead. I changed it to Will he Run-Win & Lead. It's kind of a tag line meaning of course, will he run first off. Will he win second. And then will he lead us out of the mess the countries in right now. It's also the name of my newsletter. But above that, it kind of gives an overview of what the site includes. I thought of using it since it has longer legs than just will he run etc. as even if he does and wins, that phrase will be relevant still. I know, I can't help myself with the SBI banners, LOL But 70+% of the public is interested in earning some income from home and I hope to have a bunch coming there who have their personal economy in mind and looking for answers etc.
Re: Review My: Trump 4 President Site - I think the site is great. You've done an amazing job already in the short time since you started it. The thing I would probably change right now is the SBI banners in the sidebar. They clutter it up a little too much and they have nothing to do with anything the site is about. I don't see any visitors caring about building a website. Another thing that has me baffled, and maybe I am just reading it wrong, but there is a line in the middle close to the top that says this... "Will He Run Win Lead?" That makes no sense to me. Is there supposed to be some punctuation in there or did you write it wrong and just haven't noticed to correct it? I don't know.


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Fighting the Saw-Tooth Affect

3 Competencies of Leadership

10 Steps to a Great Support Team

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.