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Top Seven Obstacles to Happiness

Written by: Julie Donley

Article Overview: Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful or wealthy. That is the first step to change.

Top Seven Obstacles to Happiness

Most of us want to be happy in life. That is our main goal: to be happy. But how many of us actually achieve happiness? Can you admit to feeling happy every day? Or are you still silently wishing you could erase your life and start over?

People aren’t taught to be happy. We aren’t raised that way. Parents raise you to be responsible, to get a job, and to take care of yourself, but does that include happiness? Who role models happiness for us?

People do the best they can. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to know whether people are truly happy or putting on a good show. You cannot look at someone’s exterior and know what’s going on inside. Are they living true to themselves, or are they living a lie of some sort? Have you ever heard of someone going bankrupt, being laid off, or getting divorced or even arrested and you were totally surprised? You thought everything was fine. The fact is that you never know what is truly going on.

Many people appear to have money. They have the right clothes, drive the right car, have all of the right “stuff” but in reality they have no money. They are broke. In debt. They may make a great living but they live way beyond their means and have not learned to be financially independent. Everything they do is for appearances: they appear to be rich when in fact, they live in a hole.

Do you focus your life on making impressions or “looking good”? Happiness is an inside job. You cannot buy enough stuff to make you happy. There will always be a longing for something more.

We get in the way to our own happiness in many ways. In my book, The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance, there are at least thirty obstacles presented that describe ways in which we falter and there are tips for moving beyond them. If you can identify how you get in your own way, you can learn to stop giving yourself a hard time and go get some happiness for yourself. Here are the top seven things that people do to impede their happiness and success:

1) You don’t know what happiness is. It seems to be elusive. Whenever you think, “if I only had X, then I’d be happy” and you finally get it, the happiness you feel is fleeting if it comes at all. And joy, what’s that? Life is supposed to be hard and you’re so busy that there’s no room for joy.
2) Somehow you have accepted your place last on the list of importance in you life. You seem to matter less than everyone else. You spend your time attempting to make everyone else happy and have never considered your own happiness.
3) You cannot say “no” to any request. You don’t know how to stand up for yourself and you hate the idea of confrontation. You cannot stand to not be liked so you go out of your way for people to like you. You are a good girl or boy and do as you are told. This isn’t always happy, you don’t feel like people really respect you, but it’s a huge boost for your self-esteem when you can do something for someone else, even if you don’t have the time and would rather be doing something else.
4) You avoid things that need to be said or done. Either you deny the unhappiness in your life or you know it’s there but refuse to address it. There is an elephant in the living room and you just keep walking around it hoping no one notices. If you think it’s easier to live blind to what is, know that there is a great cost to you. You pay a high price for living in denial with lost sleep, high stress, and unhappiness, as well as lost opportunities where you could be spending time doing things that bring you joy. The time of your life is slipping by and it takes so much effort to ignore the elephant. It’s draining your life force.
5) Someone else is to blame for your unhappiness. It’s not your fault. It was your parents, or the economy, or your boss. You refuse to accept responsibility for your life and, in so doing, you give your power to some entity outside yourself to control how you feel inside. Being a victim keeps you powerless.
6) You’re too busy to stop and consider if you are enjoying yourself. If you stay busy, you don’t need to think about how unhappy you are or how quickly the time of your life is passing you by. You enjoy the rat race and so, you just keep running.
7) You are afraid: afraid of success, afraid of what others think, afraid of your own greatness, afraid of the power you have to create your own happiness, afraid to feel that good! You are afraid of the unknown. You know how to manage the chaos and struggle; it is so familiar to you after all. Happiness, abundance, and effortlessness are new to you and that’s scary.

Do any of these sound familiar to you? There are, of course, many other barriers to success and happiness. If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you’ve always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn’t feel good.

Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good, to be successful or wealthy. That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you. Take a life inventory and assess where you are right now and where, perhaps you are not so happy. Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way as much as it is by doing what you love. And often what needs to be eliminated is the mind muck, or the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and success will come easier and will be sustainable.

Related Articles
  Believe in Yourself – 7 Tips to Take Action and Achieve Your Goals
  Pursuit of Happiness
  Staying Positive in Tough Times
  Happiness Is A Decision
  Appreciate Your Obstacles!

Article Tags: clothes, happiness is an inside job, hard time, impressions, journey, living a lie, longing, main goal, money, obstacles, parents, right car, right stuff, roadmap, role models, self discovery



Related Forum Posts
Re: The secret to happiness - Happiness comes from within. We choose whether we want to be happy or not. Circumstances can influence our feelings, but in the end, it's up to us how we deal with our circumstances, positively or negatively. I admire anyone who can stay strong and be happy through adversity. There will always be challenges that we face, but I believe that if we face them with our heads held high, the odds of overcoming them are much greater. This reminds me of the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness." Happiness spelled wrong for a reason. One of Will Smith's greatest movies. I encourage you all to watch it as it's very inspiring.
Re: The secret to happiness - Happiness is working on the job you love. I forgot who said this, "give a man the job he loves doing and he will ever work again in his life"
Re: The secret to happiness - [quote="barrysarner":2awy1urv]I agree and happiness is different for every individual.[/quote:2awy1urv] Happiness is something that comes from within each person it not something that we can find externally. Something from outside such as an exciting event or a new car can make us happy, but this is a fleeting emotion. True happiness is within each person if we choose to it over misery. MichelleJ
What is one of your favorite sales and marketing book? - One of my favorite sales and marketing book is called Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh. It tells a story of how a guy quit a high paying corporate job after graduating from Harvard in order to pursue a business dream, while working with a group of friends. They eventually built a business that is now worth over a billion dollars called Zappos.com. The entire books concept was on how to market a successful business. I enjoyed reading the book and learned a lot from it. What is one of your favorite marketing books?
Re: The secret to happiness - Hi members, This is a very interesting post and one of the best I have read. Human nature is strange and in many ways a misunderstood thing. A lot of people need help to be happy or content, I suppose that is why we have psychiatrists. I certainly agree with others that happiness is a state of mind, you can’t buy it in the shops but maybe shopping itself makes you happy. Some people are very affluent but are miserable, others may have low paid jobs but a stable and happy home life and would say that they have found happiness so it is definitely a state of mind, if you want to be miserable then you will be. Happiness is different for everybody, you could argue that money buys you happiness and for some yes it does, but for everybody, I don’t think so. There is an old saying which is something like ‘if you love what you do then you will never work a day in your life’ and for many of us here I suppose that would be working from home full time with a successful Internet business. My philosophy is that no matter where you live, what you do or how much you make, if you have your health, family and or friends around to support you in the ups as well as the downs then you are already well off and anything else you achieve is a bonus so you may as well be positive and approach all life’s challenges in that way. regards, Mal.


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