Cary Grant, Interpersonal Competence and Success
Interpersonal competence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that I discuss in several of my books. If you want to become interpersonally competent you need to do three things. First, get to know yourself. Use this self knowledge to better understand and communicate with others. Second, build solid, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the people in your life. Third, resolve conflict in a creative manner and with little upset to your relationships.
The other day I came across a prayer attributed to Cary Grant. I've edited it for brevity, but the important ideas are still there..."Release me from trying to straighten out everyone's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing. Take a look...
"Lord, keep me from the habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Keep my tongue free from the recital of endless details."
"Seal my lips on my aches and pains. I ask for grace enough to listen to the retelling of others' afflictions and to be helped to endure them with patience."
"Release me from trying to straighten out everyone's affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing."
"Give me improved memory with growing humility and an ability to capitulate when my memory clashes with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that on some occasions, I may be mistaken."
"Keep me reasonably kind. An embittered person is a constant burden."
"Please give me the ability to see good in unlikely places and talents in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so."
That is some prayer - and the embodiment of interpersonal competence. Cary Grant asked for the gifts of: silence and listening; the ability to empathize with others' afflictions without going into detail about his; the tendency to give unwanted and unasked for advice; the willingness to admit is mistakes; kindness; and the ability to see the good in others - and to tell them so.
I have printed this prayer and have hung it in my office. I aspire to all of the characteristics for which Cary Grant prayed. I hope that God will give me these gifts too. Because if He does, I know I will become an interpersonally competent person.
The common sense point here is simple. Successful people are interpersonally competent. Interpersonally competent people - listen to and empathize with others; avoid giving unwanted and unsolicited advice; admit their mistakes; are kind; see the good in others and tell them so. This is a pretty high standard to set for yourself. But as I pointed out in another article, it's best to set high goals. So do yourself a favor and set the goal of living up to these ideals. The people in your life will thank you, and you'll be well on your way to becoming a truly interpersonally competent person...
Cary Grant Interpersonal Competence and Success - To learn more about this author, visit Bud Bilanich's Website.
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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Dianne CramptonDianne Crampton is an executive leadership coach, team culture consultant, author and president of TIGERS Success Series, Inc. Dianne has been helping CEO's and Executives connect their employees to their core values and goals for over 20 years using the trademarked TIGERS team culture process, which stands for trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. To download a free white paper on behaviors that build strong teams and behaviors that will predictably tear them down go here. Dianne's contribution to the 2010 Pfeiffer Consulting Journal (an imprint of John Wiley and Sons Publishers) entitled TIGERS Hearted Teams is available in November 2009. Her new book TIGERS Among Us: 5 Winning Business Team Cultures And Why, Three Creeks Publishing will release in March 2010. To receive publishing discounts, subscribe to the free TigerTracks Newsletter here. - Visit Dianne Crampton's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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