Chaos Could be a Good Thing The Truth about Major Life Change
Chaos Could be a Good Thing The Truth about Major Life Change
Almost the minute I made the very frightening decision to jump with both feet into self employment, from my secure, stable and salaried job of 12 years, my life started to fall apart. A health condition that had been worsening over 6 years resulted in a surgery that laid me up, just when I entered the Land of No Work, No Pay; our one car family became a two car family due to my transition and a month later our original vehicle decided to blow it's engine during rush hour while I was driving it on a major Chicago route; my computer crashed and I lost everything (not great for a largely web-based business), our furnace died, leading to the purchase of a new furnace, a/c and hot water heater. Had I known any ONE of these things would be happening, I would NOT have left my job! As it was, self-employment terrified me. I was certain that a life of macaroni and cheese and 10/$1 ramen noodles was before me. Yet, despite the fears I knew I had NO other choice. This was what I sincerely wanted to do, so I leapt...and leapt right into every fear I had, and a few I had forgotten to consider (like having my health crisis).
I hear similar stories from my clients all the time. Making the commitment to pursue major life changes sometimes sends seismic waves through our lives. Understandably, we may be tempted to respond by fighting it, panicking, taking the instability as a sign that we should retreat. We say things like “I can’t deal with THAT now, I have to finish THIS first”. “Why did this have to happen NOW, just when I was focusing on this other stuff?” “Maybe this is a sign (that this is the wrong direction)!”
Common notions coming out of the world of self-help these days (Laws of Attraction and Power of Intention, for example) can fuel a belief for many that once one makes the commitment to a major life change, the Universe will just clear the path and let us sail safely to our chosen harbor because we want to reach our goals so very badly. Hey, we're good people, we're working hard, we have integrity, commitment and passion so things should work out, right? I'm open to abundance, so the channels should be open now, shouldn't they?
Not so fast, Buckaroo. Remember you are part of a whole network of relationships and roles. Instant life balance just doesn't happen. It CAN'T happen. Sometimes things have to fall apart first.
Picture your life like a mobile. You blow on one part to shift its position and the whole thing starts to turn. It’s a system in balance, but the balance is Dynamic. I hear people talking about wanting more balance in life even as they are in the middle of recreating themselves. “When everything is SET, I can move forward. Once I clean my desk, or read that last book, or get just one more certification, or get past the holidays, or finish this last project... I can work on this big transition stuff. Then, once that transition stuff is over, I'll just relax and enjoy this wonderful feeling of serenity.”
When it doesn’t happen that way, we can start to feel like we aren't "doing it right" or "aren't really ready yet" and start working HARDER to get that balance established. Ultimately we may get burned out and say, “you know, I’m basically happy,” and give up the whole concept that life can get any better for us or that we will ever REALLY be ready to do what we would love to do.
Try looking at balance from another point of view. When you are making significant changes in your life, everything else has to respond to that change because our lives are integrated parts of a whole. The changes may not always be what you expected, and, yes, some of them may not be changes you thought you wanted, but they will occur. In fact, the more significant your shift, the more subsequent changes you can expect. The trick is to not fear change but FLOW with it.
Recognize change as an affirmation that you are, indeed, doing significant work on your life.
Also recognize that you might need to get a support system around you to help you keep a sense of balance in what might be a VERY disorienting time in your life. You may find you need to set stronger, wider boundaries and maintain a strong commitment to self-care to keep yourself well during major transitions. You may have to ask for help that you didn’t need before (and get your Ego out of the way to let yourself do this!) You may find yourself challenging a lot of beliefs and judgments you hold about many things, yourself included!
Keep clear about where you are heading and why. Major change can be tough but consider this if you are tempted to sit back and let "The Fates" choose your path:
If you don't watch out where you are going, you'll end up where you are headed.
Chaos Could be a Good Thing The Truth about Major Life Change - To learn more about this author, visit Laura Young's Website.
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Have you ever noticed that once you start to make significant changes in your life, everything starts to shift and dance and, frankly, CRASH around you, all at the same time? I’ve seen this happen to many people many times and have lived through it myself more than once.
Almost the minute I made the very frightening decision to jump with both feet into self employment, from my secure, stable and salaried job of 12 years, my life started to fall apart. A health condition that had been worsening over 6 years resulted in a surgery that laid me up, just when I entered the Land of No Work, No Pay; our one car family became a two car family due to my transition and a month later our original vehicle decided to blow it's engine during rush hour while I was driving it on a major Chicago route; my computer crashed and I lost everything (not great for a largely web-based business), our furnace died, leading to the purchase of a new furnace, a/c and hot water heater. Had I known any ONE of these things would be happening, I would NOT have left my job! As it was, self-employment terrified me. I was certain that a life of macaroni and cheese and 10/$1 ramen noodles was before me. Yet, despite the fears I knew I had NO other choice. This was what I sincerely wanted to do, so I leapt...and leapt right into every fear I had, and a few I had forgotten to consider (like having my health crisis).
I hear similar stories from my clients all the time. Making the commitment to pursue major life changes sometimes sends seismic waves through our lives. Understandably, we may be tempted to respond by fighting it, panicking, taking the instability as a sign that we should retreat. We say things like “I can’t deal with THAT now, I have to finish THIS first”. “Why did this have to happen NOW, just when I was focusing on this other stuff?” “Maybe this is a sign (that this is the wrong direction)!”
Common notions coming out of the world of self-help these days (Laws of Attraction and Power of Intention, for example) can fuel a belief for many that once one makes the commitment to a major life change, the Universe will just clear the path and let us sail safely to our chosen harbor because we want to reach our goals so very badly. Hey, we're good people, we're working hard, we have integrity, commitment and passion so things should work out, right? I'm open to abundance, so the channels should be open now, shouldn't they?
Not so fast, Buckaroo. Remember you are part of a whole network of relationships and roles. Instant life balance just doesn't happen. It CAN'T happen. Sometimes things have to fall apart first.
Picture your life like a mobile. You blow on one part to shift its position and the whole thing starts to turn. It’s a system in balance, but the balance is Dynamic. I hear people talking about wanting more balance in life even as they are in the middle of recreating themselves. “When everything is SET, I can move forward. Once I clean my desk, or read that last book, or get just one more certification, or get past the holidays, or finish this last project... I can work on this big transition stuff. Then, once that transition stuff is over, I'll just relax and enjoy this wonderful feeling of serenity.”
When it doesn’t happen that way, we can start to feel like we aren't "doing it right" or "aren't really ready yet" and start working HARDER to get that balance established. Ultimately we may get burned out and say, “you know, I’m basically happy,” and give up the whole concept that life can get any better for us or that we will ever REALLY be ready to do what we would love to do.
Try looking at balance from another point of view. When you are making significant changes in your life, everything else has to respond to that change because our lives are integrated parts of a whole. The changes may not always be what you expected, and, yes, some of them may not be changes you thought you wanted, but they will occur. In fact, the more significant your shift, the more subsequent changes you can expect. The trick is to not fear change but FLOW with it.
Recognize change as an affirmation that you are, indeed, doing significant work on your life.
Also recognize that you might need to get a support system around you to help you keep a sense of balance in what might be a VERY disorienting time in your life. You may find you need to set stronger, wider boundaries and maintain a strong commitment to self-care to keep yourself well during major transitions. You may have to ask for help that you didn’t need before (and get your Ego out of the way to let yourself do this!) You may find yourself challenging a lot of beliefs and judgments you hold about many things, yourself included!
Keep clear about where you are heading and why. Major change can be tough but consider this if you are tempted to sit back and let "The Fates" choose your path:
If you don't watch out where you are going, you'll end up where you are headed.
Chaos Could be a Good Thing The Truth about Major Life Change - To learn more about this author, visit Laura Young's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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John PowerJohn Power, founder of Biltmore Franchise Consulting, has extensive experience developing and marketing franchises and business opportunities. He has been in and around franchising for over twenty years. From 1980 through 1990 he conceptualized, organized, and developed the American Video Association. He grew AVA to 2,000 national members, before selling the company it 1990. It was later merged into another home video marketing company. From 2000 to 2005 he worked as a contract marketing and human resources consultant to several local and national companies. In 2005 Mr. Power began working as a franchise development consultant on a full-time basis. Since that time he has helped more than three dozen companies initiate and develop their franchising program. He notes that there are many companies interested in developing a franchise program, and who need his specialized assistance. Mr. Power is a “hands-on” franchise consultant. He said, “I am the ‘nuts and bolts’ person who tends to the details for my clients.” Mr. Power holds a B.S. degree with a major in Marketing. See: www.biltmorefranchise.com You may contact Mr. Power at: jpower@biltmorefranchise.co - Visit John Power's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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