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Psst. Your Inner Child Is Getting a Little Fed Up with You

Written by: Laura Young

Article Overview: I was heading out for a bike ride the other day and since you were busy watching TV, or maybe you were shopping or working late, or waxing the Hummer, or programming your Blackberry, we can't remember, your inner kid asked if they could come out with me because they were bored and, frankly, a little disgusted with you.

Psst. Your Inner Child Is Getting a Little Fed Up with You

It's true. We've been talking.

I was heading out for a bike ride the other day and since you were busy watching TV, or maybe you were shopping or working late, or waxing the Hummer, or programming your Blackberry, we can't remember, your inner kid asked if they could come out with me because they were bored and, frankly, a little disgusted with you.

I was flattered to be asked and looked forward to the company since I had heard that you used to be a lot of fun, so we set off for an adventure. We rode...and rode...and rode. We rode past meadows, and streams, and a field full of cows, three coyote, two fox snakes, a family of painted turtles sitting on a log and finally under the mulberry trees, where we stopped for a quick sample. We agreed that being tall enough to pick the berries right off the trees was so much better than picking the mushy ones off the sidewalk like we did when we were kids.

That got us to reminiscing about the alley by the trees and the way we would wait for kids to ride by on their bikes over the gravel. The "rich" kids on the block always had money and coins would inevitably vibrate their way out of everyone's pockets when they hit certain rough stretches in the alley. We'd busy ourselves catching lizards, pretending not to notice, all the while listening for the telltale jingle. Oh, yeah! We are heading to Ono's for some penny candy! There will be Zots and candy lipstick in the clubhouse tonight!

And we cracked up over the time I got grounded for a MONTH when I was young because I went off to the sand dunes at the end of my street by myself and my mom didn't think that was safe. A MONTH. And EVERY day stuck. And then, my FIRST day of freedom, I was busted again (can't remember why) and grounded for another week.

And then there was the time that my dad (a heating and air conditioning wholesaler) nailed my bedroom window shut because I always opened my window just a couple inches so I could have fresh air on me while I slept. Okay, sure it was January in the Lake Michigan snow belt and we were not exactly wealthy. I understand the poor guy wanted to heat the place and still be able to send us to college someday. I really did try to keep my window closed, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

So, your inner Wise One said, "Yeah, and how cool is it now that we can ride like 40 miles and not get grounded! We can ride ANYWHERE we want! This completely rocks! Bummer they don't make those cherry lipsticks anymore. Those were sweet! Want to go to the river?"

You don't have to ask an old river rat like me twice. Heck yeah! Let's go!

So, we went to the river, sat on a log and started to wonder at the crazy little paw prints along the bank. Next thing you know, a mink came and sat down on the same log, not three feet from us! Now, he was a stinky little bugger, being related to skunks and all, but boy was he a cutey.

"Hey, what's with the invisible kid?"

"Refugee. Body's over at TJ Maxx or something."

"Whoa. Bummer, dude." The mink said to your inner peewee.

"Tell me about it."

And we just sat for a while, watching the sunlight play over the water.

"Want to swim?" said the mink.

"Nah, maybe next time. Probably should head back. This kid is the only chance left for that poor body. If we don't get back, they are liable to die right at their desk over a pile of reports and e-mails and other Matters of Consequence. That stuff happens. Happened right where I used to work. Lady just died at her desk one day."

"Okay. Good luck to ya, kid. Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you."

As I dropped your spirited half off, I echoed the mink's sentiments. "Good luck. Take care of yourself. Don't give up."

"Thanks. I'll need all the luck I can get. I don't even think they realize I checked out. Maybe if I can get them to notice the sunset tonight, or the fireflies. But I worry that it's too late. There was a quarter, a quarter, on the sidewalk the other day and they didn't even see it! Heads up even! I mean that is like so totally lucky. And forget even going up on the roof to look up at the stars like you do, Bugs. I mean, climbing up on the roof? No way would they even consider it."

I walked away and prayed the kid was wrong.

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