The Importance of Soft Skills in Business

Beyond your qualifications for a job, beyond your technical expertise and quantitative wizardry… lies the murky realm of soft skills.

How many times have you heard of someone of exemplary brilliance not being hired or promoted because he or she was difficult to get along with, not a team player, too rude for words, or an embarrassment to the group. A person who is hostile and not conciliatory. Who browbeats colleagues. Who fails to speak up and defend his or her ideas. Who refuses to negotiate. Who is cold, detached, and indifferent to other people.

People who lack soft skills are going to be left behind. The only question is: how far behind?

Everyone accepts that we all need to develop our soft skills. Yet, I suspect that one reason it is so difficult to persuade people of the importance of soft skills is that they are called “soft” skills.

Developing your soft skills is hard work. It requires strength of character, courage, and perseverance… do any of those qualities apply to someone who is “soft?”

Normally, business ethos seeks out people who are tough competitors, who are sufficiently confident to work through difficulties, who are courageous enough to take a stand, and who are good teammates. 

All of which might apply to a football player or a first lieutenant. But the organizations where these people work do not run around telling everyone that he or she should be developing his or her soft skills.

This is not a trivial point. What are called soft skills often involve rhetoric, the way you word a thought to make it persuasive. This may concern how you can move an audience-- say a jury-- or it may involve persuading your boss or your staff to undertake a new project.

It is one thing to stand up in a meeting and say: We must do things my way. Quite another to say: I recommend the following course of action. With your forbearance I would like to explain why.

Soft skills require hard work. It is easy and lazy to say whatever comes to mind, regardless of the occasion. And it is easy and lazy to express your feelings willy-nilly, regardless of the situation.

It takes discipline to learn these skills, and discipline is the enemy of free self-expression. How do you develop this social skill?

Instead of saying whatever pops into your mind, think first. If you have something important to say, think of who you are, whom you are speaking to, and what you are trying to accomplish. Hopefully, you are trying to accomplish more than getting something off your chest.

In a business context who you are is your title, your place in an organization, your responsibilities. You can speak like you are in charge if you are in charge; otherwise you are going to sound arrogant. You speak differently to your seniors and your juniors; you show more deference and respect to someone who signs your paycheck than to someone who delivers the mail. This does not mean that you should disrespect the delivery person; it does mean that you need not be deferential. Lastly, you speak differently if you want your idea to be adapted than you would if you merely care to shoot your mouth off. The first involves more complex persuasive techniques; the second involves spouting off and drawing more attention to yourself than to your idea.