If You Have To Leave A Group, Make The Most Of It!
If You Have To Leave A Group, Make The Most Of It!
Consider the 5 W’s. These all approach the same answers with different questions. But perhaps one of these questions will alert you to the primary reason you made the decision to leave the group.
1. Is there a WHO causing me to leave the group? If so, write down all the reasons you are allowing this person to control your experience.
2. WHAT specific experience led me to make the decision to leave, if any? Did someone embarrass you or hurt your feelings? Are you not getting referrals? Are you not being allowed the same status in this group as in others?
3. WHEN did I change my mind about the group? This helps you determine if your decision is actually connected to an event—one that you would prefer to forget!
4. WHERE did I expect this group to take me that it failed to do? We often have unconscious and unrealistic expectations about our involvement with a group, and it leads to our being disgruntled without being able to pinpoint why.
5. WHY is it in my best interests to leave this group? List all the advantages—not the reasons—of your leaving this group.
Unless you are able to analyze your experiences in a group, your experiences will not improve. Of course, there are many groups that you participate in that seem to work wonderfully. That’s great! We all have interactions that are pleasing, supportive, and reciprocal. However, it is through the groups that are necessary for upgrading your job/business, your social life, etc. that you encounter the most conflict and yet can benefit from the most if you take the time to understand your role in them.
Different tensions arise during the varying stages of a group. You can see that the tensions that might be present when you first enter a group, such as what motivated you to be there and will you be able to become part of the existing clique, are different from the tensions that might arise later after you’ve been assimilated into the group. Then the tensions might be related to how much time you want to take away from your own business to promote the group or perhaps you’re being asked to be a mentor and you really want to be the student. Recognizing these tensions as normal stages of group life keeps you from over-reacting to them.
Because you are now making sense of the environment in each group and your place in it through self-observation, you are better able to:
• communicate effectively,
• maintain the delicate balance between relational and task-oriented issues necessary for solid decision-making, and
• manage the tensions that arise in any group at any stage.
"Fitting in" is not about giving up who you are. "Fitting in" is about working on yourself so that you can achieve your full potential. If you’re constantly at odds with everyone, how do you expect to benefit from the relationships or receive the rewards that group participation can offer?
If You Have To Leave A Group Make The Most Of It - To learn more about this author, visit Dannye Williamsen's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
In the article, Learning To Influence Your Interactions In Groups, I mentioned that sometimes it is not only necessary but beneficial to walk away from some groups in which you've been investing energy. If you do leave, however, it would be prudent for you to examine your thoughts and feelings about your decision.
Consider the 5 W’s. These all approach the same answers with different questions. But perhaps one of these questions will alert you to the primary reason you made the decision to leave the group.
1. Is there a WHO causing me to leave the group? If so, write down all the reasons you are allowing this person to control your experience.
2. WHAT specific experience led me to make the decision to leave, if any? Did someone embarrass you or hurt your feelings? Are you not getting referrals? Are you not being allowed the same status in this group as in others?
3. WHEN did I change my mind about the group? This helps you determine if your decision is actually connected to an event—one that you would prefer to forget!
4. WHERE did I expect this group to take me that it failed to do? We often have unconscious and unrealistic expectations about our involvement with a group, and it leads to our being disgruntled without being able to pinpoint why.
5. WHY is it in my best interests to leave this group? List all the advantages—not the reasons—of your leaving this group.
Unless you are able to analyze your experiences in a group, your experiences will not improve. Of course, there are many groups that you participate in that seem to work wonderfully. That’s great! We all have interactions that are pleasing, supportive, and reciprocal. However, it is through the groups that are necessary for upgrading your job/business, your social life, etc. that you encounter the most conflict and yet can benefit from the most if you take the time to understand your role in them.
Different tensions arise during the varying stages of a group. You can see that the tensions that might be present when you first enter a group, such as what motivated you to be there and will you be able to become part of the existing clique, are different from the tensions that might arise later after you’ve been assimilated into the group. Then the tensions might be related to how much time you want to take away from your own business to promote the group or perhaps you’re being asked to be a mentor and you really want to be the student. Recognizing these tensions as normal stages of group life keeps you from over-reacting to them.
Because you are now making sense of the environment in each group and your place in it through self-observation, you are better able to:
• communicate effectively,
• maintain the delicate balance between relational and task-oriented issues necessary for solid decision-making, and
• manage the tensions that arise in any group at any stage.
"Fitting in" is not about giving up who you are. "Fitting in" is about working on yourself so that you can achieve your full potential. If you’re constantly at odds with everyone, how do you expect to benefit from the relationships or receive the rewards that group participation can offer?
If You Have To Leave A Group Make The Most Of It - To learn more about this author, visit Dannye Williamsen's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
![]() | |
| |
No article feedback found. |
| |
Leave Your Feedback |
|
| |
| |||
Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
|||
Kim CastleWith nearly two decades in the advertising and design business, with clients like Domino's Pizza, General Motors, Direct TV, Pedigree, Wolfgang Puck, Higher Octave Music, Hollywood Celebrity Products, Disney, and Paramount, as well as thousands of entrepreneurs around the world define, structure, communicate, and position their business for greater profits, BrandU(R) co-creators Kim Castle and W. Vito Montone discovered that entrepreneurs could experience the same power that big brands command for a fraction of the cost with the world's only process-based results-drive Integral approach to business creation. BrandU(R) is helping entrepreneurs grow with the power of extreme clarity from idea...to brand...to market(TM) and helping one million entrepreneurs become successful and whole so that they can make a difference in the world. Are you one of them? If you want to experience clarity all the way to the bank(TM), get started now at http://www.brandu.com. - Visit Kim Castle's Website |
|||
Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
|||
John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
|||
George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
|||
|
To learn more about the Evan Elite Author Program please contact us. | |||
![]() | |
![]()
| |
![]() | |
|
| |
![]() | |
|
| |
![]() | |||||||
|
![]() | ||
|
| ||
![]() |
| Have you written articles that would be of value to entrepreneurs? Become an expert on our site by publishing them! Expose yourself to a wide audience, drive more traffic to your website and get more sales! Click Here for details. |
|
|
![]() |
| Modeling the Masters: Learn the true secrets behind Walt Disney's business success factors & grow your company! Video produced by Phanta Media |
|
|
![]() |
"Learn straight from Evan how you can Make a Full Time Income (And More) from a Website"
Click Here To Learn More |
|
|
|
|
Get advice & tips from famous business owners, new articles by entrepreneur experts, my latest website updates, & special sneak peaks at what's to come!
|
![]() |
|
|
![]() | ||
|
Top Social Business Blogs
Top Social Entrepreneur Blogs | ||
|
Top 50 SEO Posts - 2007
Top SEO Posts of the Year | ||
![]() | ||
![]() | ||||
| ||||
| ||||
| ||||
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||










Subscribe to Dannye's articles











