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THE TECHNIQUE OF "CONSCIOUS PERCEPTION"

Guest post by: Michael Heah

Article Overview: Do you want to be a better communicator? Use the powerful technique of "Conscious Perception" to help you.

THE TECHNIQUE OF "CONSCIOUS PERCEPTION"

Question: I am not sure whether I am the one having communication problems or it is the others who have them. This has been going on for a long while, leading to misunderstanding and argument about "this is what you said, and not like what you are saying now ..." and many other reactions that are not taking anyone of us forward. So instead of pointing fingers, I have now decided that the onus is on me more than the other person to manage this. I want to be able to get to the bottom of other people's messages and intentions so as to know exactly what they mean. I do not want to get depressed, angry or in any negative emotional state. How can I improve myself in this area?

Answer:

Congratulations! You make a good coaching client because you rather control what you can (that is, you) than trying to control what youcan't (other people). One of the techniques that I share with my coaches is the technique of "conscious perception". This is about having a format to re-evaluate any form of communication before you finally accept it as "this is it".

You take 3 positions when you use this: checking on the negative, neutral and positive possibilities in the message. More important than this, you also go beyond the message to check out the possible state of mind of the sender. Take for instance, someone who does not sendyou a message to thank you for a favor. He or she could be busy and not because of lack of appreciation of what you have done for him or her.

The bottom line:

When a message appears rude or negative, do not react straightaway; instead give yourself space to think and reflect. Look for ways to give the message and the sender the "benefit of the doubt".

Powerful Questions:

What is the message as it appears to me right now?

What other meanings are in this message?

What state of mind was the sender in at that time that make it understandable they wrote it this way?

How can I accept and be positive of its actual meaning rather than the one that I currently have?

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Article Tags: communication, conscious perception



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