Tweet

Five Tips for Fighting Fairly

Guest post by: Sharon Mikrut

Article Overview: Let's face it, everyone engages in an altercation or fight at some point in their life. It can be with a spouse, partner, parent, sibling, friend, or coworker. The important thing to remember is that no one wins in a fight. If people are yelling at each other, they are not listening to each other. Here are some tips to prevent a fight or ensure that once one starts, it doesn't escalate into a full-blown screaming match.

Five Tips for Fighting Fairly

Let's face it, everyone engages in an altercation or fight at some point in their life. It can be with a spouse, partner, parent, sibling, friend, or coworker. The important thing to remember is that no one wins in a fight. If people are yelling at each other, they are not listening to each other. Here are some tips to prevent a fight or ensure that once one starts, it doesn't escalate into a full-blown screaming match.

1. If you detect that someone is unhappy with you or dissatisfied with something you have done, ask them for feedback. You can say "From your expression, I feel that I have done something that bothers you. If there is something you would like to discuss, I am ready to listen." By sharing your observation in that manner, you are acknowledging that you may have done something wrong and that you are willing to discuss it. It is better to lay your cards on the table versus not saying anything at all. Also, there are times when people are upset but don't know how to approach you. When you open the door and let them know that you are willing to talk, it facilitates honest communication.

2. When you are unhappy with someone, are you the type of person who says whatever comes to your mind or do you step back and think through the situation before you respond? If you react without thinking, you will most likely cause a fight. If you can work walk away from the situation and give it careful thought before speaking your mind, it will help you to more clearly see both sides of the situation which can, in turn, lessen the anger you are experiencing. If you are unable to walk away from the situation, then it is best to try and listen to what the other person is saying. Give them time to express how they are feeling and why they acted the way they did. This might help you to better understand their perspective. After considering their response, you can then express how their actions affected you. In listening to the other person and really trying to understand where they are coming from, it may provide sufficient information to facilitate open and honest communication.

3. Listen, listen, listen. Not only can listening to another person prevent a fight from escalating, it can also serve to calm the waters before a fight begins. If you are unsure of what someone is saying or are unclear as to why they are behaving a certain way, ask neutral questions. For example, if someone is ignoring you, say "When you turn away from me or avoid eye contact, I feel as though I am being ignored. Is there anything going on that I should be aware of?" When you ask the question in this manner, your tone is neutral. It demonstrates that your intent is to gather information, not upset the individual.

4. You can always agree to disagree. Just because you feel one way about an issue doesn't necessarily mean that the other person will share the same values or beliefs. That doesn't mean that you are right and they are wrong, or vice versa, it only means that you think differently. If you are passionate about an issue or topic, you will most likely not reverse your stand on it. If you don't want someone to pressure you into adopting their view or perspective, then don't pressure them. We may not always see eye to eye on issues, but that is what makes this country great. We have the freedom to express how we feel about issues. Even if others don't agree, at least no one can suppress how we feel. The bottom line is, we will never see eye to eye with everyone. And, as you don't want anyone to change you, avoid trying to change others. You will avoid many fights in the process.

5. Although alluded to above, the most important tip in preventing a fight is to remember that it is not what you say but how you say it. You can be honest and say almost anything to another person, but the key is to be respectful when expressing your feelings or views. For example, let's say that a friend borrowed $500 and promised to pay you back within a week, as you need the money to pay a bill. However, the friend takes 10 days to pay you back and you are now delinquent on a bill. Instead of calling your friend a string of colorful names, it is best to say "I lent you money that you promised to pay back within a week. As that didn't happen and I was delinquent on a bill, I am frustrated because I now have to pay a late fee. I would appreciate you covering the late fee. How do you feel about that?" By stating how you feel about what happened and proposing a solution, your friend will probably be relieved and cover the late fee. If he doesn't, then you probably shouldn't lend this person money again!

If you address an issue instead of avoiding it; if you think before you speak; if you listen to what the other person is saying and make every attempt to understand their perspective; if you can appreciate that there will be times when it is okay to agree to disagree, as you can't change others; and you remember that it's not important what you say but how you say it, you should be able to avoid most fights or at least prevent them from escalating into a full-blown fight.

Copyright 2010 © Sharon L. Mikrut, All rights reserved.

Related Articles
  Bookkeeping Tips on Tips
  Shift your But
  Leaders Play a Major Role for the Employee
  100 Ways to Succeed #79
  Losing Your Cool During Competition: Just Part of the Game or Unresolved Anger Management Issues?
  Entrepreneurs – Some Changes To Help You Survive The Recession.
  Stop Wrestling Alligators
  How Using a Free Blog can Help to Build Your Internet Income Business
  Managing For Future Success, Starts With Today's Successes
  “Your Business Coach’s Top Ten Tips on How to Demonstrate Respect Where You Work and While You Work There”
  How to get and leverage attention from the mass media
  Saying Yes Always Means Saying No
  All Sales People Use Scripts
  The Secrets of a TOP GUN Xerox Sales Professional
  Coaching Your Business To The Next Level Series Part 8 Work Life Balance
  The Biggest Work at Home Pitfalls Revealed!
  How to Make Money Selling Other People’s Stuff
  Earn More Money - Easy Home Business Ideas
  Tips To Starting Your Online Business
  Ten Tips on Motivation

Article Tags: avoiding a fight, avoiding fights, fighting, fighting fairly, how to avoid a fight, preventing a fight, preventing fights



Related Forum Posts
Business Tips - How about: Tips for managers to handle employees more effectively? Tips on how to deal with difficult customers? Tips on how to deal more effectively with suppliers? The only three I have in mind right now, but will try to come up with something else. Chris
Re: Using Craigslist SEO to Promote Your Website - Great Craiglist Tips for driving traffic. I can definitely use these to drive traffic to my blog.
Re: Burn all your bridges inorder to succeed?? - [quote="BuzzAroundBooks":x11o039o] Some people are very self motivated, while others are lazy and need to create a sense of urgency to get themselves moving toward their goal. For instance, I was just watching a television interview on a mixed martial arts fighter who admitted to being lazy and burned all of his bridges in order to succeed. He sold all of his possessions, got in his car and left his family and friends behind to pursue his dream until he eventually made it into the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championships). When you have literally nothing to go home to, it can drive a person to do great things. At times, burning all of your bridges is what it takes since "bonds" between you and others can actually be a distraction.[/quote:x11o039o] As my fraternity brothers and I said in college, "there is nothing that motivates us so much as the imminence of failure." For my personal fitness I definitely have to burn bridges; I need to be left alone for months in order to reach my fitness goals.
Re: Search Engine Tips and Ideas - Share Yours - Hi there, I answer this post, to start off. I am still learning a lot on all these subjects. Moreover, we have a wonderful tool to find out from previous posts. On the top right corner, use 'Advanced Search' and write 'Search Engine Tips'. It brings up all the previous posts with that information. Check it out. You will be surprised all the inherent information stored.
The 11-7-06 NEFA Meeting went very well! - The NEFA meeting held Tuesday November 7th went very well. The meeting was very well attended and Mary Tomzack of FranchiseHelp, Inc. presented her unique perspective in regards to franchising. Mary also distributed a copy of her book, "Tips & Traps of buying a franchise". The next NEFA meeting is January 23rd, when the IFA Chairman "Doc" Cohen, an American Cookie Company multi unit franchisee with make a presentation. I'll post more information when the date gets closer. Thank you!


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Local Marketing: 3 Simple Low-Cost Strategies

Leader's Success Secret: Celebration

Pay Per Click Advertising

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.