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Honoring Honesty - How Honest Are You?

Guest post by: Sharon Mikrut

Article Overview: Honesty is one of those virtues that most people say they possess. When you look at your interactions with family members, friends, colleagues, and others, how honest are you? To what extent are you truthful? When you say you will do something, do you actually do it? When someone asks for your opinion, do you provide an honest one, even if you know it may hurt the person's feelings? Do you strive to be honest but back away in fear of retaliation? This article provides some tips on what honesty is and how to be honest in a way that is not offensive to others.

Honoring Honesty - How Honest Are You?

Honesty is one of those virtues that most people say they possess. When you look at your interactions with family members, friends, colleagues, and others, how honest are you? To what extent are you truthful? When you say you will do something, do you actually do it? When someone asks for your opinion, do you provide an honest one, even if you know it may hurt the person's feelings? Do you strive to be honest but back away in fear of retaliation? This article provides some tips on what honesty is and how to be honest in a way that is not offensive to others.

Honesty is all about telling the truth and following through on what you say you will do. When we are children, we are extremely honest as we have not yet developed any filters. We say what's on our mind and don't give a second thought as to whether or not we might be saying or doing what is perceived to be inappropriate or wrong. As we mature, we are told what is or isn't appropriate behavior. This information may not be accurate, but we develop filters based on these experiences. Unfortunately, these filters often prevent us from being totally honest.

So, here are some tips on what you can do to be as honest as possible:

1. Be truthful. Never lie or fudge the truth. When someone asks you a question, tell them the truth. If it is a comment that may be perceived as negative, let the person know that it is not intended to be negative, but you are offering it because it is the truth from your perspective. For example, a friend gets her hair cut very short and she asks for your opinion on her new haircut. In looking at her, you feel she looks like a boy. You could say "That's an awful haircut; you look like a boy." Or, you could say "In my opinion, your new haircut makes you look more masculine." Although a statement like this may be hard to hear initially, most people really do appreciate hearing the truth.

2. Address the issue or problem, not the person. If there is a behavior that a person is exhibiting that you find inappropriate, state that the behavior is bothering you and why. Be careful not to insult or demean the person, as the behavior is the issue. For example, your husband has a bad habit of leaving his work clothes on the floor prior to taking a shower. You could say "You are a slob!" Or, you could say "When you leave your clothes on the bedroom floor, I either trip over them or they block my path. How would you feel about carrying them directly to the hamper after you discard them instead of leaving them on the floor?" This latter response not only doesn't insult your husband, but it offers a solution to correct the behavior that is bothering you as well.

3. Watch your words. Use words that express what you are feeling, but make sure they are objective and neutral. This will help keep your emotions at bay. For example, a client enters your office, a half-hour late for the third time in a row. You could say "I can't believe you're doing this again; what's wrong with you?" Or you could say "I've noticed that this is the third time you are late. Is this is a bad time to meet? If so, let's explore other available dates and times that work best for you." Which way would you rather be approached?

4. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. I have found that you can tell most people anything but how they perceive it is based on how you deliver your message. For example, you listen to an employee deliver a boring presentation. At the end of it, you could say "Your presentation was boring; I almost fell asleep!" Or, you could say "The information you shared was critical but it might be helpful if you spiced it up a bit, by interjecting quotes and/or stories." Which statement would motivate you to make your presentation more exciting?

5. Watch your actions. Besides your words, people observe or notice your actions and behaviors. Avoid the temptation to cheat or steal. If you exhibit either of these behaviors, it is only a matter of time before people catch on to what you're doing and share this information with others. This type of information can have a devastating effect on your reputation. And, once your reputation is tarnished, you lose credibility. It will be hard for people to trust you again.

Being honest in your words and behaviors is the best approach when dealing with people and situations. When you are honest, people respect you more. When you are dishonest, it will catch up with you eventually, and harm your credibility and integrity. If you value respect and credibility, then practice being honest on a daily basis, using the tips suggested above.

Copyright 2010 © Sharon L. Mikrut, All rights reserved.

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Article Tags: being honest, Create It Coaching, honesty, integrity, Sharon L Mikrut, Sharon Mikrut, telling the truth, truthful, truthfulness



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