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The Importance of NOT Being Earnest (with apologies to Wilde)

Written by: Sarah Cooper

Article Overview: Thinking about our life goals and changes we want to make, we often use very earnest language to express ourselves. But how much of an impact does this then have on our ability to make the necessary decisions, or take the steps we have planned? Perhaps phrasing things in less earnest terms can help us view the situation in a light that makes it easier to make the progress we need.

The Importance of NOT Being Earnest (with apologies to Wilde)

As a relatively new blogger I know it's important to spend some time getting acquainted with the experts. My favourite is Pamela Slim of Escape From Cubicle Nation. She always manages to sound like a real person, which is harder than you'd imagine. This "living your dreams" territory can be a minefield of earnestness. Every time I hear words like "authentic" or "empowered" I battle to slap down my middle finger as it twitches up towards my mouth, seemingly compelled to shove itself down my throat as if I was a 4 year old kid and you'd just suggested brussel sprouts for dinner. Somehow Pam manages to write about self-development topics in a way that is funny, down to earth and practical. Her recent post Let The Wild Rumpus Start, talks about the importance of using fresh, simple words and is a great example of her style. It has inspired me to re-double my efforts not to sound like I've swallowed a whole library of self help books.

Her post made me think. The words we use reflect how we think about something. So if we use long and earnest words, chances are we are thinking v-e-r-y e-a-r-n-e-s-t-l-y about that subject. And whilst I believe that we must be serious "at bottom" - we must think hard about what we want from life and muster the courage to go for it - we shouldn't lose our sense of grace and humour in the process.

Aside from being numbingly dull to listen to, I don't think being earnest actually helps us very much. If we define a problem in ponderous terms, how creatively will we approach its solution? By contrast, if we don't take ourselves quite so seriously, we free our minds to think of escape holes, options, and different ways of doing things.

Consider this example:

A: I never wanted to be a lawyer, but it's all I've known for 15 years. How do I find work that allows me to express my authentic self and utilise my transferable skills? = weighty, limiting, cliff-climbing type feeling

B: I never wanted to be a lawyer, but it's all I've known for 15 years. How do I find work that I'd gladly skip out of bed for? = lighter, more positive, open-minded feeling

In both cases the problem is not an easy one. But it IS surmountable. And doesn't B sound more like a person whose career change is going to give them some fun along the way?

How can you express a serious issue you're facing, in a way that actually motivates you to deal with it?

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Article Tags: authentic self, courage, different ways, earnest words, earnestness, escape from cubicle nation, holes, humour, living your dreams, middle finger, minefield, pam, pamela, real person, self development, self help books, sprouts, transferable skills, whole library, wild rumpus



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