Tweet

COACHING FEEDBACK FOR MANAGERS

Guest post by: Carol Wilson

Article Overview: Feedback is often regarded as the most difficult part of a manager’s job. However, in a coaching culture, negative feedback is experienced in a positive way, as an opportunity for making new discoveries rather than blame. In this article we will look at four areas of feedback: Positive feedback, Negative feedback, Receiving feedback, Coaching feedback.

COACHING FEEDBACK FOR MANAGERS

1. Positive feedback

Positive feedback is an energy raiser for the giver as well as the receiver. However, it must be authentic and genuine or it will be dismissed as worthless.

People often say that they only hear feedback when something is wrong.

However, it costs nothing to tell people when they have done well, or give a simple thank you. Both will make the recipient feel more valuable and raise their confidence. Self belief is vital for success and praise, when it is deserved, builds confidence and motivation to achieve more.

It is great to give positive feedback in public; it gives people a real boost to be singled out and admired for what they have achieved. There are also two possible areas for caution here:

• Shy people sometimes feel uncomfortable about any kind of publicattention

• If the recipient is working as part of a team, the other members may feel their contribution has been overlooked The most important thing to remember is that this type of feedback must be authentic; if you walk around saying ‘great, super,' people may actually feel less appreciated, because comments like these sound insincere and are too

general - you are not showing that you have taken the trouble to notice much about what they have done. Feedback should be specific and relevant to the occasion, for example:

"I liked the report you wrote because you backed up your statements with figures and real examples"

is more authentic, and more useful, than:

"Great report!"

The first example also gives the person some guidance on what you would like them to do more of in the future.

I once coached a manager who said he thought his own manager had a ‘praise quota' because he would suddenly walk round the team at the end of the day throwing out praise to people, as if he had not filled his allotted quota for that day. It is absolutely essential to give positive feedback only when it is deserved and genuinely meant otherwise people will become cynical and stop believing what you are saying.

2. Negative feedback

This can be one of the biggest struggles of successful leadership. Managers are either too critical or shy away from feedback at all and it can be hard to find the line in between. Because of this, in some organisations there are reams of models and advice about feedback and not all of it is helpful. Negative feedback should only be given in private, directly to the person concerned.

As in positive feedback, it is crucial to be specific and authentic. If nothing else, this makes you think through your dissatisfaction before delivering it, so that if the person asks for specific examples of what is wrong you will be able to answer clearly and concisely.

If someone asks you to give negative feedback on their behalf, (which is something that happens quite often in HR jobs) try to coach that person to do it themselves. You cannot be authentic if you are passing on something second hand which you may not by into or have witnessed yourself.

However, the key question to ask regarding negative feedback is, ‘how can I best help this person move forward?' Will negative feedback help in this situation at all?'

We are all our own worst critics and beat ourselves up far more ruthlessly than anyone else could. For this reason it may sometimes be better for a manager to encourage their staff than to dwell on their mistakes. For instance, if a new employee is learning a process, aware of her or his mistake and trying hard to do better, the manager does not need to mention the mistake at all; positive words like ‘you are making really fast progress learning this' will be much more effective, building the person's energy and confidence so they learn the process more quickly.

When negative feedback has to be delivered, because someone is behaving or performing consistently badly, it should be given in the spirit of how to enable the recipient to learn rather than taking out one's own irritation on them.

‘Learning feedback' is a much more helpful to keep in mind than ‘negative feedback'. The feedback should be about what the person has done rather than tarring people with a general brush which will belittle them eg:

"I think your report might have contained more specific examples"

rather than

"You are hopeless at writing reports"

The first example gives the recipient useful information and focuses his or her mind on one particular area for improvement. All the latter will do is lower the recipient's self confidence and render them less able to achieve anything at all.

All feedback

As we have already said, both positive and negative feedback should be specific and authentic.

We must also ‘own' the feedback, by saying ‘I think' instead of implying that we have the right to make judgements about the recipient. Limiting the feedback to our own opinion puts both giver and receiver on an equal playing field, which will enable the recipient to be less defensive and more open to considering and understanding the feedback.

There is a widely taught feedback model called ‘the sandwich', which advises delivery in three stages:

• Give some positive feedback

• Give your negative feedback

• Finish with more positive feedback

Its foundations are sound but as a model it is now being discredited, and I have heard it referred to as ‘the s... sandwich' because the recipient knows from past experience that there will be something nasty in the middle!

In a coaching culture, there is no such thing as negative feedback: couched in the overall atmosphere of support, people believing in each other and being encouraged to take risks, any words of correction will be taken as a valued offer of help rather than as criticism. This is where the idea of the sandwich arose, but it is the whole culture of the company that needs to embrace a positive approach, not just 5 minutes of feedback.

The sandwich also flies in the face of the requirements for giving feedback which we have outlined above; the praise is not being offered authentically in the moment that the feedback has been earned, encouraging inauthenticity.

Receiving feedback

It is hard to remember sometimes that all feedback is usually well intended; people are often trying to help, however much their efforts may have the reverse effect.

We can draw an analogy with the present one's mother in law might give at Christmas; it may be just what you want and you will treasure it for ever; it may have little to do with you but is innocuous enough, so you can stick it on a shelf somewhere and forget about it; or it may be so inappropriate, or even insulting, that you feel like breaking it over her head. But what do you say, standing there on Christmas Day with the family around you? A simple thank you will suffice; once you have been given a gift it no longer belongs to the giver but to the receiver, and you can now take control and do with it whatever is most useful to you; exactly the same principle applies to feedback, whether positive or negative.

Many of us have a tendency to ‘defend' ourselves against positive feedback as much as negative;

"I like your coat"

- "This old rag?"

"You're good at that"

- "You should see how Sarah does it!"

Again, the best response is a simple ‘thank you'. Of course, if you want to find out more about what the person is saying, it is fine to ask. Otherwise a sound rule is ‘no feedback on feedback'.

Coaching feedback

Imagine never having to give feedback again. What if people were able to stand back, see all the perspectives in a situation, recognise their own weak spots and identify what resources they have to improve? What if they were able to recognise and play to their strengths? What if they had a safe place to practise and make their mistakes, before taking well honed skills out into the

world? Their leaders would never have to supervise or give them feedback because these workers would not hesitate to ask for help and guidance when they needed it.

Effective leaders can give their people all of these things, simply by using their coaching skills. This is the culture I experienced while working closely with Sir Richard Branson at board level during the first decade of Virgin.

The most powerful feedback is self-directed, where people give it to themselves. You can enable this to happen by asking questions like:

• What did you notice about what you did/your behaviour?
• What did you like about what you did?
• What I liked was ...
• If you could do it again, what would you do differently?
• Can I make a suggestion?
• What will you do about it in the future?

In answer to the first question, people tend to put themselves down. The second, highlighting what they feel good about, will help them to identify their strengths.

"Can I make a suggestion" is your opportunity to deliver any feedback you wish to give and could be delivered, for example:

• Could I tell you what I noticed? The customer started to tell you her needs and you interrupted to say ...
• Can I explain how we normally do this? Your way works but I think it takes longer. Do you think it would work better this way?
• Could we talk about the recent mistakes? I believe you are really conscientious, and not the sort of person who normally makes a lot of mistakes. Is there anything going on at the moment which is getting in the way of your work?
• It's quite difficult for Team B when you provide the wrong information. They are getting frustrated with the lost time. How can I help you here?

Set up expectations in advance

The best way to avoid having to give negative feedback is to make your expectations clear in advance, both for performance and behaviour.

There will be more opportunities to give the enjoyable positive feedback if you give people clear guidelines to aim for, and it will help to highlight how far they have come.

The OK Corral

This model was devised by psychologist Franklyn Ernst and demonstrates the effective and ineffective quadrants for communication and healthy relationships. We all tend to move around within the quadrants, depending on the people and the situation. By shading in the quadrants accordingly we can get an idea of the amount of time we tend to spend in each:

• I am not OK - You are OK: Sometimes people at work feel like children, fearing authority and behaving submissively towards their bosses.
• I am OK - You are not OK: Sometimes bosses act like controlling parents, "looking down" at staff or bullying them, eg "you have a problem? Deal with it" "Grow up!" "How many times do I have to tell you!"
• I am not OK - You are not OK: Sometimes both parties give up trying; "this is hopeless", "this will never work", "let's not do the project at all then"; none of these words will move anything forward and they bring
  
  everyone's energy down.
• I am OK - You are OK: Adult to adult relationships, where both people stand equal, are happier and more productive; "I am capable and confident and I believe you are capable and confident. Together we can do great things."

All the behaviours described above can be applied to any relationships including peer groups at work, co-directors, friends, families, the plumber and the customer service person on the end of the phone. The most productive way

of dealing with any situation is to summon up the energy to be in the yellow box.

They are particularly helpful to bear in mind when you are giving or receiving any kind of feedback.

Feedback Guidelines

Positive Feedback

• as often as you can

• only when deserved

• in public

• tell the boss

All Feedback

• immediately

• direct to the person

• be specific

• From I

Negative Feedback

• only when helpful

• for learning not blame

• in private

Receiving Feedback

• thank you

• no feedback on feedback

• emphasise the positive

Set up expectations in advance.

Related Articles
  The Coaching Imperative
  Management styles for Gen-X and Gen-Y
  Performance coaching in the workplace
  Emotionally Intelligent Job-Related Feedback
  New Managers - How Coaching Can Help

Article Tags: caution, confidence, guidance, motivation, positive feedback, quota, recipient, report em, self belief, working as part of a team



Related Forum Posts


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Tweet

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

You Have A Website What Now

Build Corporate Credit for Your Small Business

Executive Blind Spots

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.