Emotional Muscles


EMOTIONSare a huge element

in our lives. They affect how we experience the world... and, each

emotion serves as a unique filter for our life's experiences.

Sometimes it feels that we're at the mercy of our emotions. I'd like to

suggest how we can take greater control of our lives by more consciously

choosing some of our emotions.

I believe emotions play a powerful role in

helping us achieve our goals, dreams, and in creating fulfilling lives.

more we "feel" an emotion... the more we attract that into our

lives. Simply put....joy breeds joy. Stress breeds stress.

Peace breeds peace. Essentially, it's Law of Attraction.

As we move throughout life we have opportunities to

experience and "work-out" various "emotional muscles".

Happiness, sadness, anger, joy, peace, discipline, fear, and love are amongst

the core list. Some emotions are easier to master than others. Yet all

emotions, like anything else, need to be fully developed. Just like our physical

need to be exercised, stretched and pushed to achieve maximum

strength, maximum use and maximum pleasure (having well formed muscles is a

nice feature, yes?). Emotions too, need to be exercised, stretched and pushed

to achieve maximum strength, use and pleasure (fulfillment).

I've also noticed that, like muscles, there are

typically "pairs" of musclesthat work together.

Each body part has a set of muscles that allow the limb to extend or contract.

For example, the arm has biceps and triceps. Biceps pull the arm in, and

triceps help to extend the arm out. I believe that "emotional

muscles" also can be found in pairs or groups.

Obviously the "emotional muscles" that

are "worked out" the most, shape an individual, whether positively or

negatively. If someone frequently feels depressed, sad, lonely, their muscles

of happiness, joy and connection may become weak or atrophied. These

"emotional muscles" that go unexercised will eventually become harder

to access. People who are frequently depressed and sad find it harder to

readily be HAPPY, than someone who is happy all the time. Makes sense.

So, how does this relate to achieving ones goals???

Many books talk about visualization as one way to

create what you want in life. One of the key elements to visualization is to "get

into the feelings and emotions"
of having already achieved your

desired outcome. In essence, you are "exercising your emotional

muscles" in advance
, so that when your "visualization"

actually becomes reality you have the "emotional muscle

infrastructure" to sustain it.

If these emotional muscles aren't

"strong" enough, the antagonistic muscles may overpower the

experience and actually dissolve what you just created.

Here's an example, someone is seeking abundance.

They work hard and create abundance into their life, and yet their feeling of

"unworthiness" is a much stronger emotional muscle for them. Over

time, they must either strengthen their "worthiness/abundance" muscle

to sustain their abundance or they may likely find their new-found abundance

disappearing before their eyes.

Another example, someone is seeking LOVE(isn't

this a popular one). Intellectually, they know what they want in a partner -

the looks, the personality, the whole image - they even have an

"intellectual idea" of the love they'll feel. But, let's delve into

the "feelings" or emotional muscles involved in attracting your ideal


How do you want to FEEL in your ideal


Well, most women I know want to feel loved,adoredandcherished.

Many, many people tell me they long for their "ideal relationship",

yet years and years go by without a trace of their ideal mate. So, I've

asked my clients to visualize the person of their dreams right in front of them

- their mate has arrived and is HERE!!! Then I ask them how it "feels"

to feel totally loved, adored and cherished by their ideal mate, knowing that

their mate IS here. They must truly step into the experience emotionally.

As my clients sit with their experience, seemingly

willing to embrace this visualization, many clients became either "sad",

"went blank" or were frustrated. One woman became sad because she

realized that the only person she had ever allowed to let her feel "loved

and adored" was her mother ("love" was a weak emotional muscle

for her). Another client struggled to "feel" the sensation of being

adored and cherished. Since most relationships end in disappointment and

hurt, the conditioned response is often Love = Hurt/Disappointment = Sad = MUST

PROTECT. The emotional muscle that became developed was one of "emotional

distance"...or "numbness" (Numb is an emotional state).

The "love" muscle had atrophied... and the "open and

vulnerable" muscles had stiffened.

Even if the feelings of "adored and

loved" are initially hard to access, they.....like ANY emotional muscle

can be developed.
I challenge my clients (who desire these

feelings) to "practice" feeling ADORED, CHERISHED and LOVED daily, as

though they are receiving it from their lover. Over time, people are able

to fully associate with these feelings. And, as they do, amazing

relationships show up in their lives. Or, their existing relationships

begin to shift.

I've seen the results of "cultivating

emotional muscles"
with my clients....and, I've experienced it

personally in my own life. Years ago, I desired to attract the "man

of my dreams" into my life. So, I spent time each day

"visualizing" and getting fully associated with the feelings I wanted

to experience with my future beloved. At first this was hard...and, I felt

completely inept at this. Yet, over time I was able to really feel being

"totally adored, cherished and loved". I felt what it would be like

to sit across the table at restaurants, have great conversation, to travel,

etc. All the time focusing on the feelings. Six months later,

"exactly" what I had fully associated to is "exactly" what

showed up in my relationship - feeling totally loved, cherished and adored

beyond anything I'd ever personally experienced. And, this relationship

continued for nearly 3 years.

I since chose to end this relationship, even though

I felt "so love, cherished and adored". (And, let me say, it's

tough to let go of being "so love, cherished and adored").

However, I realized other elements that were equally important to me, that

couldn't be fulfilled within that relationship. I'm now strengthening the

"emotional" muscles that align with the vision I hold in my ideal

relationship now. Stay tuned.


those feelings you want to experience in your ideal relationship - or in

another area of your life.....and start "stretching those emotional

by cultivating those "feelings" each

day. Then, see what shows up in your life.


Mary Allen, CPCC, MCC is America�s Inner Peace Coach, author of The Power of Inner Choice and host of Conversations with the Masters interviewing best-selling authors, speakers and coaches including Dr. Wayne Dyer, Caroline Myss, Debbie Ford, Byron Katie and others. Her clients include entrepreneurs, CEO�s, business owners and even a couple billionaires. Her passion is helping �conscious achievers� enjoy greater...

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