Making a Fresh Start
Making a Fresh Start
I wish I could tell you it was a good meeting, but it wasn't. I got exactly the difficult, irritating, frustrating event I expected. Now years later, that meeting snapshot easily pops to mind as I remember the negative relationship dance played out in my office that day.
Yet it was that occurrence that ignited change. Like Janus, the Roman god of doorways, beginnings and endings, whose name inspired the first month of the year, I saw in two directions. I could either drag that past into the future by continuing the detrimental escalation of this important work relationship, or I could leave it behind and make a psychological fresh start. I chose the latter.
What changed that day was my vision of the doorway I wanted to go through. I realized that every time I dealt with that difficult manager, he brought out my less than positive side. In effect, I had relinquished to him the power to control my reactions. But with one simple thought I took it back.
I decided that every time I saw him in the hallway, or at a meeting, or had to deal with him, I would directly look at him and mentally say, "I wish you well." At first I forced the thought, but in time it flowed easily. It turns out I did wish him well. How could I not if I offered the best of who I was?
Wishing him well slowly altered my response to him. It refashioned how I showed up, and transformed a negative, difficult work relationship into a professionally neutral one.
You see, it's easy to see the things we don't like in other people, easy to identify their irritating habits, their performance deficiencies, and their problems. It's easy to remember when we've been wronged, replay memories of their roadblocks, escalate their email tirades, or relive their failed promises. It's easy to put all the blame and onus for change on them.
But people who are winning at working train themselves to look again at difficult work relationships. They seek to glean positive traits in those who frustrate them. They extend a mental thank you for the mirror these people hold up, realizing that often their most professional and personal growth is spurred by those who push their hot buttons. And they accept that the only person whose behavior they can control is their own.
While people who are winning at working may develop goals, commitments, and reflective inspiration at the start of a New Year, they don't limit their timing of fresh starts to one day. They recognize the choice they have to start anew with old problems, difficult relationships, limiting beliefs, or narrow thinking doesn't happen once a year, nor does setting goals or dreaming dreams or assessing progress.
People who are winning at working know that any day of the year they can make a fresh start; any day of the year they can change their thinking and their results; any day of the year, they can begin to create a different work future. And they do.
(c) 2008 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.
Making a Fresh Start - To learn more about this author, visit Nan Russell's Website.
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"How could that be?" I muttered silently as I reread the message. This was not a person I wanted to encounter as I returned from a holiday vacation filled with family, friends, and fun. And yet, there he was on my calendar. My first meeting of the New Year was scheduled with my nemesis.
I wish I could tell you it was a good meeting, but it wasn't. I got exactly the difficult, irritating, frustrating event I expected. Now years later, that meeting snapshot easily pops to mind as I remember the negative relationship dance played out in my office that day.
Yet it was that occurrence that ignited change. Like Janus, the Roman god of doorways, beginnings and endings, whose name inspired the first month of the year, I saw in two directions. I could either drag that past into the future by continuing the detrimental escalation of this important work relationship, or I could leave it behind and make a psychological fresh start. I chose the latter.
What changed that day was my vision of the doorway I wanted to go through. I realized that every time I dealt with that difficult manager, he brought out my less than positive side. In effect, I had relinquished to him the power to control my reactions. But with one simple thought I took it back.
I decided that every time I saw him in the hallway, or at a meeting, or had to deal with him, I would directly look at him and mentally say, "I wish you well." At first I forced the thought, but in time it flowed easily. It turns out I did wish him well. How could I not if I offered the best of who I was?
Wishing him well slowly altered my response to him. It refashioned how I showed up, and transformed a negative, difficult work relationship into a professionally neutral one.
You see, it's easy to see the things we don't like in other people, easy to identify their irritating habits, their performance deficiencies, and their problems. It's easy to remember when we've been wronged, replay memories of their roadblocks, escalate their email tirades, or relive their failed promises. It's easy to put all the blame and onus for change on them.
But people who are winning at working train themselves to look again at difficult work relationships. They seek to glean positive traits in those who frustrate them. They extend a mental thank you for the mirror these people hold up, realizing that often their most professional and personal growth is spurred by those who push their hot buttons. And they accept that the only person whose behavior they can control is their own.
While people who are winning at working may develop goals, commitments, and reflective inspiration at the start of a New Year, they don't limit their timing of fresh starts to one day. They recognize the choice they have to start anew with old problems, difficult relationships, limiting beliefs, or narrow thinking doesn't happen once a year, nor does setting goals or dreaming dreams or assessing progress.
People who are winning at working know that any day of the year they can make a fresh start; any day of the year they can change their thinking and their results; any day of the year, they can begin to create a different work future. And they do.
(c) 2008 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.
Making a Fresh Start - To learn more about this author, visit Nan Russell's Website.
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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Staging DivaDebra Gould, aka The Staging Diva®, is President of Six Elements Inc., an internationally recognized home staging company. Inspired by many requests from aspiring home stagers wanting to start similar businesses, Gould created the Staging Diva Home Staging Business Training Program. Gould has trained over 1000 Staging Diva Graduates worldwide to start staging businesses. Buying decorating and selling six of her own homes in four years lead to an interest in real estate staging which she turned into a career with the launch of sixelements.com in 2002. Since then she has staged hundreds of homes in addition to teaching home staging training. Gould is the author of several home staging resources including a series of popular ebooks made up of a Design Guide, Color Guide and Portfolio Guide. For more information about Debra Gould visit stagingdiva.com. - Visit Staging Diva's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Jeff FosterWebBizIdeas.com is a Minneapolis website design company founded to help people start an internet business by providing them with website, business, and internet resources that help foster the growth of successful online businesses and develop innovative Internet business ideas. We specialize in internet consulting & internet marketing. - Visit Jeff Foster's Website |
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Stephanie RobeyStephanie Robey is President and CoFounder of Pivot Positive, LLC - an Internet marketing business focused on helping people start work at home ventures. Previously, she was employed at The Search Agency with over 20 years experience in graphic design and 10 years experience in online marketing. She was responsible for launching the Conversion Path Optimization (CPO) unit where she and her team have conducted hundreds of optimization tests for online companies across multiple verticals. She is a successful entrepreneur having started and sold 2 companies and remains on the board of directors of the third, PhotoSpin.com Stephanie began her career in the direct marketing realm creating and producing direct mail for many of the major cable television companies and directly attributes her understanding of Internet marketing to those early offline experiences. Stephanie is a graduate of San Diego State University with a BFA in Graphic Arts and also holds an Executive MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management at Pepperdine University. Read Steph's Blog Meet Steph and Dave Sign up for our Free 7-Day BootCamp: Self Employed & Rich - Visit Stephanie Robey's Website |
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