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Eyes Across the Room
| Guest post by: Linda Sage |
Article Overview: Having tried the new fangled thing of internet dating, with less than great success, undeterred I decided to go back to tried and tested measures, a bar! Spending time going through the wardrobe, trying everything on before even looking into the mirror, with the odd slurp of vino to help my judgment! Just knowing "it does not feel right", my debut into a bar with music and full of strangers, is like preparing for the opening of the Olympics. Some kind friends have said "come out with us", (all couples of course, but I am very grateful for their invitation).
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Free Download - Today is the Day By Linda Sage |
Eyes Across the Room
Having tried the new fangled thing of internet dating, with less than great success, undeterred I decided to go back to tried and tested measures, a bar!
Spending time going through the wardrobe, trying everything on before even looking into the mirror, with the odd slurp of vino to help my judgment! Just knowing "it does not feel right", my debut into a bar with music and full of strangers, is like preparing for the opening of the Olympics. Some kind friends have said "come out with us", (all couples of course, but I am very grateful for their invitation).
Looking into the mirror, "where did all those lines come from overnight?" But I give myself a pat on the back, as "I don't scrub up half bad". Determination, and vino flowing now through my veins, the 50th check of the door keys, purse, phone (though the people that are likely to phone me - I will be with) but just in case. Shoes on, front door open, "well world are you ready to be conquered?".
My choice for my launch into Society is only five mins walk from my house, no need to drive - so can have a drink!, (close enough to run all the way back). Straight back, step out, the closer I got to the bar, the slower my steps, I had not thought about walking into the bar! Will I see them?, will they be there? Best just ring to see, no answer! By this time I am standing on the pavement in front of the bar, it is full of people!, Oh well, head down, up the steps, the butterflies are going bonkers by now, please don't let me fall up the steps, or trip over the door frame!!!
Inside, a cacophony of sounds a loud singer, talking, laughing, dancing - oh hell "let me see a friendly face". There my friend, (well acquaintance) at the end of the bar, not a large bar in reality, but..... It seemed like I walked death row. Finally, here I am, out, at the bar, with people. - an achievement.
As some time passed and a little more vino entered the system, my muscles started to relax, I even managed a smile or two and lifted my head. See, this was not so bad! As the bar was busy, people were pushing past as they walked through the bar (mainly to the loos). All of a sudden I felt a hand on the small of my back, for a flash second I thought - wow, then the stainless steel spine set in, I spun round to meet some sparkling, smiling, dark eyes, followed by a bight, warm smile, whatever he said I have no idea, I was left traumatized. Look at the bar, head down, butterflies, knocking knees!
A while later I came out of my world, saying he was just trying to get passed, lifting my eyes, I found the same amazing flashing eyes, and glinting white teeth, behind the brilliant smile across the bar. Then one eye winks, PANIC......He must have something in his eye, be short sighted or something. Ignore it, it will go away. This vino must be very strong, as I feel quite woozy, better think about getting home, it is late (it is only 8.30pm).
I am a well qualified, professional, intelligent female. But in seconds I am a shuddering wreck. The answer to this dynamic change, is self-talk, my belief about my own abilities at work are not often questioned, as I feel confident, competent and in control. But "my" reality in relationships and belief about myself, my appearance make me doubt myself. Choosing to talk to yourself positively, encourages your self-confidence, old beliefs are like a comfort blanket to a child. You grow out of them, by making a determined effort. If people around you talk to you in a negative way, don't argue with them, just say:"thanks for your opinion, but I know I am great/intelligent/wonderful whatever you want to be. Learning to like yourself and be proud of yourself, you teach others to do the same, your children especially.
Rethinking my self-talk, not needing the support of vino, who knows next time I meet the sparking eyes across the bar, I might just enjoy smiling back.
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Article Tags: confidence, fear, imagination, self belief, self doubt, self esteem, self talk, self worth, shy, single, smile
Referred by: http://jaykubassek.com/
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About the Author: Linda Sage RSS for Linda's articles - Visit Linda's website My background is in Forensic Psychology over the past 25 years I have been mentoring,teaching and lecturing the whole range of skills and abilities from Corporate to schools. I have built my own successful MLM Business, now I am mentoring and coaching on stategies for the improvement of yourself and business. Health, nutrition, fitness and life style to enhance your quality of life. I have helped thousands of people improve themself psychologically, their bodies, relationships, financial standing and lifestyle. I write weekly columns for local papers and magazines, have worked with local radio and television programmes. I am President of Mil Palmeras Toastmasters International. I also speak publically on motivation and weight loss, how these affect entrepreneurs and limit them. Online marketing and Newbie Training is the newest area of my business, many people suffer a lot on the internet, I know I did, so now I help people see that it is not as scary as they think and definately does not have to be as expensive. Time Management and self discpline are major areas for entrepreneursas the time just seems to run away. I live on the Costa Blanca in Spain, this was one of my first goals, now I have orange and lemon trees in my garden, my passion is to set bigger goals for myself and help others do the same. Life is amazing and it should be. I have a new ebook Personal Coaching for Change which is a very proactive book, in each chapter you can build on changing things in your life. Easy to read and follow. Click here to visit Linda's website   Im Looking for a Hero Highs and Lows of Living Nobodys Perfect All in the Minds Eye Smile and the Whole World Smiles with You Cry and You Cry Alone |
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