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Guest post by: Gal Baras Become an Author

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An old Chinese proverb says "Fall seven times, get up eight", but Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organizations and businesses today, since it has been proven to help understand and assess people's behaviour. It serves as an important tool in areas like: learning styles, management styles, attitudes, interpersonal communication skills and human potential.

Although Emotional Intelligence became popular after the publication of Daniel Goleman's Book, "Emotional Intelligence", in 1995, it was researched and developed during the 70's and 80's. It was psychologist Howard Gardner's book "Frame of Mind", which gave birth to the development of EQ (through Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligence).

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Peter Salovey and John Mayer defined EQ (Emotional Quotient) or EI (Emotional Intelligence) as made up of 5 elements:

1. Self-awareness - Observing yourself and recognizing a feeling as it happens.

2. Managing emotions - Handling feelings so that they are appropriate, Realizing what is behind a feeling and Finding ways to handle fears and anxieties, anger, and sadness.

3. Motivating oneself - Channelling emotions in the service of a goal, Emotional self control and Delaying gratification and stifling impulses.

4. Empathy - Sensitivity to others' feelings and concerns and taking their perspective, as well as Appreciating the differences in how people feel about things.

5. Handling relationships - Managing emotions in others and Social competence or social skills.

EQ proponents argue that IQ (Intelligence Quotient) tests, the traditional methods to measure intelligence, have failed to predict success, while EQ tests are more accurate. They also argue that emphasising cognitive skills does not contribute to people's well-being , while emphasising EQ increases productivity, reduces stress for individuals and organizations, decreases conflict, improves relationships and understanding and increases stability, continuity and harmony.

Optimism is Better than Knowledge

During the 80's, Martin Seligman researched optimism and its effect on people's performance. One of his greatest discoveries was presented in his research of insurance sales people . Seligman convinced an insurance company to hire people who passed the optimism test but failed the standard test. He compared their sales to those of sales people who were hired based on standard tests only. In the first year, Seligman's group's sales were 21% higher than the others. In the second year, their sales reached 57% more than the others! The conclusion of his research was that optimistic people handle rejection better than others.

The ability to handle rejection is a major factor in the success of any business. Optimism and pessimism play a major role in determining the success of a sale. Each personality caries beliefs that defines failure in a different way. While optimistic sales people are able to separate rejection of their product from rejection of them as people, pessimistic sales people take rejection as criticism on their abilities and will face their next sale feeling hurt.

The greatest business tool: NEXT!

I sometimes describe to my clients an imaginary button, which resets everything and refreshes them for the future. They learn to "press" this button and say, or even yell out, "NEXT!"

Coaching develops the clients' EQ. I believe that emotional strength is essential to our development and growth. There are many aspects of EQ in business environments. The ability to handle rejection and move on is only one aspect of EQ in business, but it's a major one for any person facing the challenges of the business world.

One of my business clients, let's call her Mary, has mastered the art of "NEXTing". Mary is the CEO of an international trade organisation and in her job she deals personally with many executives, mostly men, while juggling her boss's criticism and "strange, unreasonable desires". When she started coaching, Mary experienced heavy stress and had anxiety attacks, for which she was taking medication to survive each day at work. She loved her job very much, but spent most of her day either in conflict with her boss, talking about it or thinking about it. Every meeting between Mary and her boss lasted only minutes, but she kept them in her mind months later. Mary's definition of rejection was unhealthy for her, as it gave her boss much more power than he had in reality. He was "able to control" her feelings during and outside of working hours just by thinking differently from her.

Mary came to me looking for a tool that will allow her the freedom to enjoy her work. She discovered the "NEXT!" button in one of her first sessions. A week later, she sent me this email "I know it sounds strange, but I feel so different. I think people around me are different from last week". She managed to handle most of the difficulties at work (and at home) using "NEXT!" as her main tool. While in the past, every arguments and unsuccessful sale added pressure to her work, now she is able to assess the situation, take the learning and move on and her efficiency increased tremendously.

"NEXT!" is an important coaching tool. Using it enhances emotional intelligence by promoting optimism . "NEXTing" allows people to move on and shift their energy from lingering in the past to focusing on the future, a core aspect of success.

To download and print your own "NEXT!" sign/bookmark, visit www.behappyinlife.com/downloads/next_and_serenity_prayer_bookmark.pdf.

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