Ahhh...Summer is coming and the living is easy...or is it?
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Ahhh...Summer is coming and the living is easy...or is it?
My astrologer has been right…life has had it’s bumps and grinds lately…the peaks are really awesome and the valleys…not so nice. In my coaching practice, I am sensing that people are going through more “intensity” lately. Whatever issues that my client’s face it seems to be more intense, more personal, more life altering almost. Is that true for you?
So it’s May and with the summer coming slow it down then…turn down the heat on the emotional aspects of your business. Easier said then done, when the client you are working with is difficult, or someone just won’t pay you, or no business is coming in and worse you have personal challenges that just won’t quit. What’s a dedicated business owner to do?
Although I haven’t been trained to be psychologist…I can share with you what I would do when things get intense in and around my business. One is…I sleep it off.
It may sound odd…but when I am stressed, I need rest. When I am rested I can think clearly and can handle the issues that I am facing. Plus to be honest…it’s my way of escaping my problem at that time and moment. Now if this idea of sleeping persists longer than 2 days…you may want to see a therapist. Step number one for me is to sleep it off…unwind…get totally away from the issue at hand, and then come back at it.
Once, I have rested…I allow whatever emotions are coming up for me to come up. I allow feelings to surface and I don’t fight them or make myself wrong. There is nothing wrong with these feelings I have at times of challenge and stress. So I allow whatever needs to happen happen. It may mean I sleep more, or am lazier, or procrastinate or waste time…but I need to do that in order to get prepared to take on the challenges that I am presented with. I need to step back in my own way and get clear on what’s ahead.
I then make a written plan…looking at what it is I am facing or what it is that is affecting me…and then write down the steps I need to take in order to attempt to overcome my challenge.
Somehow, when I think about what is challenging me…and then make a written action plan…it feels as if I can and am taking action.
I also choose my battles. I take on what I feel I want to take on. Sometimes, I do surrender to the universe to take on my challenges. There are some personal relationship battles that just knock the stuffing out of you and are a no win situation and sometimes it’s best to walk away, dignity in tact and take on something else.
Case in point, I was involved in a work situation a few years ago…where I knew I was about to be fired. I didn’t fight it…in fact I was totally honest about the feelings that came up for me at the time with my “then” manager and did not fight the decision. Once my manger had it in her mind I was “persona non grata” at this organization, there was no hope in every doing anything to change it. So why fight it? I had 3 goals or outcomes from when getting fired and when one of the goals was met…I left my manager’s office relieved and somewhat content under the circumstances. The working relationship was still in tact and I was even retained on a part-time basis with the organization for a few months afterwards.
The reason I didn’t fight the firing…and believe me having the job and money were nice at the time…was because there was another challenge ahead of me that needed my energy more so. In fact…I wouldn’t be in business, hosting a radio show, working with great organizations
and creating my own business if it weren’t for the energy I took to create what it is I do now. So, instead of dwelling on the past and putting all of your energy on the negative events in our lives look forward and ahead at all times. You don’t drive a car looking through the review mirror…so why would you live your life that way too?
The next strategy to take on is to mind the negative self-talk. Working with a good friend and associate of mine has taught me to understand that there exists within each one of us inner voices…some are really cool…and some are just downright negative…in fact one of my little negative voices inside me…had a pretty valuable opinion to share with me when I decided to go into business for myself…he asked me…what if there is a recession and the economy tanks…what would happen to your business then? Good question, I replied, man…maybe he’s right and maybe I shouldn’t go into business for myself. Are you kidding me? All the work you’ve done and all the experience you have and you are going to listen to that inner negative in this case my inner worrier voice?
Nope…instead I thanked the voice and said to it…you know if there is a recession then we all suffer…I choose to begin my own business and have as much security doing that as I do working for some company.
Inside each of us is our inner critic, inner worrier, the inner totally bummed out and cynical voice and our inner mothers…so get used to them, name them, make friends with the inner negative voices or your shadow sides and thank them for their advice and think…”Hey what’s really possible here”?
If you let your inner negative voice stop you…then you may lose “big time” from really having lived a full and rich life. So watch the self-talk…it can be potentially dangerous…make friends with the negative voices, thank them and make a plan to move forward.
Sometimes…you have to Just Do It! If you have a difficult client…talk to them. If you are going through a life challenge do your best to overcome it…or handle it somehow…and if you have a financial crisis, make a plan to change it. Whatever it is that is facing you and slowing you down… When you take on a Just Do It attitude amazing things can happen. Possibility unfolds, life tends to work out, things happen one way or another…so keep moving forward and see what’s going to take shape next.
You know the bottom line is to keep moving forward, yes the challenges we face in our business can really torpedo our progress and our joy and passion…but if you aren’t making forward progress in your own best way, then the inner dark side wins…
Enjoy the journey. No one said life is fair, but it can be enjoyable. It’s all in your attitude. My good friend and associate Shawn Shepheard reminded me of Matty Stepanek…a 13 year old boy who recently passed away from Muscular Dystrophy, and when interviewed on Larry King Live…and asked…”Matty, why aren’t you angry at life and at the disease you have”? Matty replied, “because I don’t have time in my life to live it in anger”.
Get to enjoy the journey, don’t take things that confront you personally, because we all have our challenges, each one of us…we all have those inner shadows and the longer they linger the inner light and joy in you won’t come out…So go share the goodness of you. Your clients and colleagues deserve the best!
Here is a review of what do when challenge comes along…
· Sleep it off…rest up…go easy on yourself and allow whatever needs to come up. If you feel you want to procrastinate and just avoid the challenge do it…don’t feel guilty…take downtime to get clear, get your focus back…allow time to process.
· Once you are done processing the challenge and are clear on the task ahead make a written plan of action
· Choose the right battle…take on what matters!
· Watch the negative self-talk…remember just because you aren’t getting any business doesn’t make you a loser…it just means you aren’t getting any business and may have to try something different to do so
· Just do it! Once you have direction and a plan…act on it. Action is powerful…and liberating!
· Be sure to enjoy the journey…you like everyone else has to face challenges that lay ahead in our lives…we all have the same stuff to deal with, maybe at different times, but we all have them.
Have an awesome summer and make tons of forward progress!
David Cohen
AhhhSummer is coming and the living is easyor is it - To learn more about this author, visit David Cohen's Website.
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