The Terrified Networker

I used to be a terrified networker--afraid of those milling crowds and round table breakfasts. How could a self confident professional speaker like me be afraid? Here’s my story…

My first networking experience scarred me for years. As a brand new coach, a networking seminar I attended taught me how to use a 30 second elevator speech to introduce myself to individuals in a crowd and to allow (force) them to experience what it is that I do (coach) on the spot through a series of questions directed at the victim in front of me.

Let me tell you how fast most people I encountered at that cocktail ran away from me. The most memorable, however was the woman who flat out declared with wide eyed fear (while physically backing away from me) that she felt that I was trying to sell something to her and after delivering that blow, fled out of the building. I followed her not long after and vowed never to return to the foray of networking for as long as I lived.

Now, years later, I can recognize that there were more than a few issues with my approach on that fateful day. I had honestly decided to take this key marketing tool out of my personal toolkit to gain new clients.

I then discussed this terror around networking with my own coach and she referred me to Coach U founder Sandy Villa’s book titled Power Networking (Bard Press, 2000). I started experiencing a whole shift in not just the way I viewed networking but in the whole way I approached marketing my business.

The shift I made from “what can you give me” to “how can I serve your needs” was a phenomenal change in the way that I marketed my services.

The basic points I’ve learned and apply to successful networking are the following:

1. “Am I networking amongst my target clientele?”

A client of mine used to pay a fortune for a breakfast meeting at her own industry association. She didn’t get a single client out of it over the three years that she attended religiously. Sure, she picked up industry trends and met many colleagues but she wasn’t meeting any potential clients. Once you’ve picked a solid niche target market, you need to be spending every dime and moment being in contact with them. Anything else is called education, not marketing.

2. “Am I clear about exactly what benefit I deliver to my clients?”

When you can’t simply answer the question of “ .. and what do you do?” by concisely stating what you offer to whom about which problem, you can’t expect people to refer others to you. They won’t remember to pick out the essence of what you’ve said; therefore you’ll have wasted your opportunity to connect with someone who needs your help.

3. “What can I offer people I meet?”

Whenever I now meet people, no matter where I meet them, I listen intently to what they’re saying to see where the helping opportunity for me is. For example, a gentleman I met at a recent function told me he was looking into working as a strategist for a not-for-profit organization. Although he was neither in my target group currently, nor in need of my business services, I followed up and sent him the name of a person I’d met this year who did exactly what he was hoping to do. I now consider this gentleman a part of my network.

4. “How do I become memorable to my network?

One thing I ask the people on my network is if they’d like to receive my E-zines. Provided they say yes, whether they’re in my target market or not, they get a reminder of me once a month.

Another way I keep my network current is to send articles of interest to them randomly.

The key thing is to continue to provide value to my network through a steady stream of kindnesses and referrals, never expecting anything in return.

5. “How does this help me get more business?”

It is the most integral part of what I call the Attractor strategy. You are what you attract and what you attract is what you are.

When you provide value, you are the recipient of similar value.

I have secured clients, speaking engagements and article placements through these techniques of networking. The terrorized networker that I used to be is now the most relaxed, caring person in the room.

I challenge you to try the same mental shift and attract business in the same way that those in the know are doing at this moment, somewhere in a networking luncheon right now.

With kindness as always, Chala

The Terrified Networker - To learn more about this author, visit Chala Dincoy's Website.

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