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I’ve Got A Secret

Guest post by: Kathryne Pusch

Article Overview: Try out this Super Secret Skill that will revolutionize your communications even more than your Blackberry©? Enhances your business relationships and boost your success! Improve your personal relationships as well, so you may even be smiling more at home.

I’ve Got A Secret

What if I told you that I know of a “Secret Super Skill” that will help you to achieve each of these laudable goals?

-Understand your clients’ greatest fears or concerns that could keep you from ever closing a deal

-Determine what the parties REALLY need or want to make a deal negotiation work

-Put others at ease and make them feel important, so they want to co-operate with you

-Shorten meetings and reduce time and effort in follow up

-Obtain all the insights you need to do your job effectively as an intermediary between parties with often competing interests

-Be prepared to creatively overcome potential obstacles and avoid misunderstandings in any business or personal relationship

LISTEN!

No, I am not commanding that you “Listen to me now;” we can talk all day long and never force others to listen to us. In fact, if we are doing too much talking, we are not listening enough. I mean that if we are serious about success, we should all learn the valuable—“Super Secret Skill” of listening more effectively. LISTENING will help us to achieve all the goals I mentioned, many of which are the basis for above-average, even spectacular, “Super Star” success in our industry and in business overall.

When you are actively listening, you must be FOCUSED; you cannot be multi-tasking. Put your MIND in a purposeful listening mode. You want to do more than just hear the words; you want to grasp the fullest possible meaning in the words, which involves observing how they are said, the tone of voice, the body language, the facial micro-expressions of the speaker. Be fully receptive. Make sure your eye contact and body language SHOW unequivocally that you are truly involved in the conversation. Like magic, this will draw the speaker out and open them up. Many people are anxious for someone to actually listen to them and genuinely care about meeting their needs-- solving their problems. Vary your voice pitch and inflection to indicate your INTEREST and responsiveness. CLARIFY and confirm what you think you heard to ensure no misunderstandings are occurring and to reinforce the speaker’s impressions that you are a superior listener.

You may be surprised that becoming a Super Listener can be the secret to your greatest success! What is even more amazing is that you already have everything you need to do this; you always have, much like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz who only wanted a heart. You have the ears to hear and the brain to process, the lips to smile, the eyes to connect, the head to nod. A commitment to Super Listening is much cheaper than a new marketing campaign; listening is much easier to implement than a new web site with all the latest gee-whiz features; it is a lot less painful than losing 15 pounds so you can get into a new wardrobe; people will like you a lot more than they will after your drastic plastic surgery. . .Why? Super simple: because you have demonstrated that you care about THEM instead of focusing on yourself.

What kinds of behaviors should you avoid if you want to be a Super Star listener?

• Asking off-topic questions
• Being distracted by things or people that are not part of your conversation
• Forgetting what was already said
• Interrupting or jumping ahead
• Avoiding eye contact
• “Yes, but. . . .” as though you mind is already made up
• Just waiting to jump in and make YOUR point instead of processing what is being said to you so that you can respond effectively
• Failing to customize the interaction to the speaker’s pace, tone, or personal space preferences
• Competitive top-that-story telling

Will you try out this Super Secret Skill that will revolutionize your communications even more than your Blackberry©? I will be interested to hear how improved listening enhances your business relationships and boosts your success! I know that better listening will enhance your personal relationships as well, so you may even be smiling more at home.

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Article Tags: better listening, business broker Atlanta, business relationships, improve communications, listening skills



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