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No Fear of Referrals



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What I’ve Learned from Dumpster Kids, a Buddhist Monk, and Other Wise Teachers - By Keith Ferrazzi

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People are often worried about being put in an uncomfortable situation in which someone they just met is asking them for a business referral -- particularly if their new acquaintance is a salesman asking for a referral to one of their friends who could be a potential client.

Next time something like that happens to you, don't think "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be vulnerable now, because I'm risking one of my relationships by introducing some guy I don't know."

Know that, in reality, you hold all the cards. You don't ultimately have to make the introduction. It's the responsibility of your new acquaintance to tell you a darn good reason why you should make the intro. (This is even how LinkedIn's referral system works.) And honestly, if this new guy has a good reason, I'd be thankful and happy to introduce him to one of my friends.

Say, for example, that I met someone who wanted me to introduce him to Phil Knight when Phil was CEO of Nike. If the new guy had three great reasons why he could better serve Nike, I'd see it as something good I could give to Phil.

I'd just say, "Listen, Phil, I met a person the other day who believes he has stuff that can be beneficial to you. Of course, you can do whatever you want with it, but I just wanted to pass on the reference."

Too many people see relationships as pies -- where if you take a piece, there won't be as much left over. Relationships and networks are more like muscles. The more you work them, the bigger and stronger they get.

So the more you give to your friends, sometimes by making references and introductions, sometimes even to people you just met, the better.

It's really as simple as telling your friend, "I was thinking about your company the other day. And I wanted to introduce you to somebody that might be helpful to you." At the end of the day, it's your friend's responsibility. But don't worry, because they're not going to blindly buy something with their company's or their personal hard-earned money.


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Free PDF Download
What I’ve Learned from Dumpster Kids, a Buddhist Monk, and Other Wise Teachers - By Keith Ferrazzi

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About the Author: Keith Ferrazzi

RSS for Keith's articles - Visit Keith's website
Widely hailed as one of the world’s most “connected” people, Keith Ferrazzi is the author of Never Eat Alone, the international bestselling book about building relationships for success. Ferrazzi is also an acclaimed speaker and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a consulting and professional development firm that helps organizations drive growth through relationships. Earlier in his career, he was chief marketing officer at Deloitte Consulting and the youngest to be tapped for partner in the firm's history. Then, upon joining Starwood Hotels and Resorts, Ferrazzi was the youngest CMO in the Fortune 500. He also served as CEO of YaYa Media before founding Ferrazzi Greenlight.
Click here to visit Keith's website.
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