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Q&A - Problem with a mentor

Written by: Keith Ferrazzi

Article Overview: Here's a tough situation a NeverEatAlone reader is having with his mentor (and that's the first problem -- only having 1 mentor!). My quick two cents follows. Also check out Chapter 29 in Never Eat Alone, "Find Mentors, Find Mentees, Repeat."

Q&A - Problem with a mentor

Here's a tough situation a NeverEatAlone reader is having with his mentor (and that's the first problem -- only having 1 mentor!). My quick two cents follows. Also check out Chapter 29 in Never Eat Alone, "Find Mentors, Find Mentees, Repeat."

Q: I'm 26 years old, and have worked at the same large company for the past 7 years (internships during undergrad and then full time after completing my degree). There is a VP at my company who has always mentored me. He has been my sounding board on everything from work issues to project ideas during my MBA studies.

The relationship has always worked both ways. I've helped him out on projects when he has been in a resource crunch and he's always helped guide me on career decisions. Within the last year, he has become very removed from our mentor/mentee relationship. I'm confident that it's because of his increased responsibility and workload.

That said, do I need to look for a new mentor? Do you recommend developing multiple mentoring relationships so I don't get into this problem again? I feel like my mentor only takes an interest in my career when he's in one of those resource crunches. I know we're all busy, but I would like to think a good mentor makes time. In the context of your nepotism article, this person used to be good about the care element, but not anymore. Any suggestions?
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A: I have many mentors, and you should, too. Be grateful for the relationship you have with each. Resentments or regrets are a waste of emotional energy.

Related Articles
  Why Small Business Entrepreneurs Need a Mentor
  How To Effectively Use Business Mentoring
  How to Find the Best Mentor for Your Needs
  Do you need a mentor?
  Business Mentoring Programs

Article Tags: career decisions, element, emotional energy, full time, mba studies, mentor mentee, mentors, nepotism, regrets, relationship, relationships, resentments, resource crunch, sounding board, two cents, undergrad, vp, workload



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Re: On Mentors - [quote="jvprosperity":2v0r5y3z]I've been blessed by having mentors naturally come into my life but if I wanted to approach one how would I go about developing the relationship and then asking them to mentor me?[/quote:2v0r5y3z] Hi Andy, From my past experiences, I find that mentors just gradually take you under their wing. I've never had to formally ask any of them to "mentor" me. For example, in "The Little Black Book of Connections", Jeffrey Gitomer says "Some of them actually want to help you and will take pleasure in helping you, as long as they feel you are both worthy and trustworthy. In other words, deserving" (pg 9). At the end of the day, the best way to get a mentor is to nurture your connections through mutual value exchange.


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