What I’ve Learned from Dumpster Kids, a Buddhist Monk, and Other Wise Teachers

Free PDF Download What I’ve Learned from Dumpster Kids, a Buddhist Monk, and Other Wise Teachers - By Keith Ferrazzi Name: Email:

This is a five-part series sharing lessons in joy, success, and even fidelity, that I brought back with me from a 2-week service trip to Thailand and Cambodia at the close of 2010. Here are parts one and two. Head to the blog every day this week for the next three parts.-KF

Lesson #1: Choose your family wisely.

I saw this listed in a Bangkok gym as tip number ten to “live a long life,” but it struck me as particularly poignant as I was thinking about my trip during my last run on the beach in Thailand before going back to LA.

Let me start with the story of a brother and sister, whom Big Task Foundation now sponsors. They were living in a trash dump, literally, with a prostitute mother and a drunk father who beat her up a lot – she drank a lot too. During the day, they wandered the streets and at night slept on the trash among the rats. Then at the young ages of 5 and 6 they stumbled upon the Asia Center Foundation (AsiaCenterFoundation.org) and took refuge there, among people who cared about them, fed them, and got them into school and on the path to college.

In other words, they chose to find a family that gave them what they needed. The little boy, who wants to be a lawyer, still interacts with his mom although he lives at the safe house; the sister doesn't want to even visit because she’s afraid of being recruited to her mother's profession. They’ve been through a lot, but they’re happy.

Even as children, they chose wisely. We should all do the same – and it applies to our professional lives. To be happy, you have to seek out the right partners, and be proactive about it. Frustrated by your work environment? Then find the accountability buddy who won’t let you fail. Find or develop the team that cares so deeply about each other's success that they will out-perform better-resourced, even smarter teams because they have the passion. Find the loving support that will give you the encouragement you need to see the potential and not the limitations. Why should you let anyone stand in your way of success when there are people out there who can give you all you need. Find them!

Lesson #2: Make every day a meditation by walking slowly, listening deeply, and counting breaths, not sheep.

On New Years Day, all the orphanages were closed to us so I wanted to go to a temple, to sit among the majesty of hundreds or thousands of years of spirituality and be guided through a beautiful reflective experience looking toward 2011. As it turns out in Thailand it’s a tradition to do just that on the last day of the year. Smart folk.

Our meditation at the temple was lead by Monk Thomas – another wise one who chose his own family. He was born of an English father and a Thai mother, not easy for a child in Thailand. Over time and through deep exploration of what was important to him, Thomas chose to make a new family in a life of devotion.

I know about and have experienced the benefits of meditation but have nevertheless rarely found the time to practice it daily. When we arrived that day, we were ushered to the fluorescent-lit storage area with old steel desks that the temple called their office. We were told the temple was full but we would do our meditation here. (Here? Really? With all the cool flashy gold stuff upstairs we were going to sit here?) And then I saw the spiders. Many spiders. (Why didn't I just stay back at the hotel pool?) We were instructed to clear some boxes for a pathway of about ten feet and the instruction began.

First, listening meditation. As I sat on a steel chair, Monk Thomas started into his standard speech about what we would learn. But then he interrupted himself. "You know, we can even meditate while we listen,” he said pointedly. “Perhaps you find yourself disappointed by our scenery, perhaps a little angry that you sat in traffic for an hour to get here, and maybe you are thinking that you are missing EVERYTHING upstairs, the beautiful gold reclining Buddha that you came to see...."

I was beginning to think maybe the temple was totally empty and Thomas had put us with the spiders as a lesson. I took the hint. I started to look at him and listen, deeply. I recognized that these thoughts he got me to cop to were not only distractions but distractions I was actively choosing. I needed to let them float by and focus only on him. I got myself to stop thinking about what I would say if he were to stop. Then I thought about how many times I’ve cut off other people's sentences and completed them myself. And what it would be like to sit and really listen to someone – and how it would feel to them to know they were being truly heard and respected. What it would do for my own understanding of their point of view and what it would do for my blood pressure! If this was meditation, I could do it. I could listen. Every day.

His point made, Thomas moved on. "How about sleeping?" Now he had my attention. I don't get much sleep but I do sleep every day. Monk Thomas suggested that as we lie down to go to bed, we shouldn’t shift around. Don't focus on the day or tomorrow. Don't count sheep. Just lie still and observe your breath. If you have a thought, observe it, then refocus on your breath.

Finally when the time came for us to meditate we didn't sit as I had thought one did. Instead we were instructed in the art of walking meditation. We were to walk slowly, deliberately, and attentively while saying a simple mantra, "I am walking, I am walking, I am walking." When we ran out of space, we were to say, "I am standing, I am standing, I am standing," and "I am turning, I am turning, I am turning." Then "I am wanting to walk, I am wanting to walk, I am wanting to walk." And again, "I am walking, I am walking, I am walking."

In walking – even to the bathroom – we can practice being present in our bodies, our actions. I can indeed meditate every day, and so can you for greater peace of mind, health, and focus for prosperity and joy.

Warmest,

Keith

Free PDF Download What I’ve Learned from Dumpster Kids, a Buddhist Monk, and Other Wise Teachers - By Keith Ferrazzi Name: Email:

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