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Guest post by: Keith Ferrazzi Become an Author

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Here's an insight about building intimacy that I shared on yesterday's Relationship Masters Academy coaching call. I was a pole vaulter in high school. Until you've done it, you think you're never going to be able to clear 12 feet. You think it's impossible. You think it's insane. But the fact is, it's really only hard to do right up until the moment that you do it. After you KNOW you can do it, it's no sweat. You can land it again and again.

So it is with building intimacy in relationships. First off, remember that increasing true intimacy helps move you quickly to a deeper, more productive relationship. Why? A track record of intimacy and generosity creates trust and mutual understanding - and nothing's more important to getting more stuff done, quickly.

The problem is, if you're like most people, you wait to share anything truly personal about yourself until you're absolutely positively SURE that you're not going to be rejected. It's like you want a red carpet and a line of paparazzi to announce, "Yes, you have arrived! You can be yourself!"

Well, imagine the power and the generosity of rolling the red carpet out for someone else. That's what building intimacy in your network requires. Take a risk! Assume you have permission until you get shot down. And then smile graciously and move on.

Finally, once you've built that intimacy, don't regress. I see people all the time who take a relationship to the next level - say, with a long, slow dinner or a serious conversation - and then they immediately revert to their old, business-focused relationship and forget to nurture the newer, deeper relationship. Creating a lifelong community of colleagues, contacts, and friends means committing yourself to a relationship to the entire individual, not just the business you'll transact together.

If you want to create a really dynamite network, you have to really follow through when you say, "I'd like to get to know you."

How about you - what have you learned from playing (or watching) your favorite sport? Tell me on the blog.

Warmest,

Keith

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