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When You Say The Wrong Thing
Written by: Keith FerrazziArticle Overview: Recently I hosted a dinner with a great group of friends and people I wanted to meet. One of my guests was a particularly good friend, a guy I care about and respect deeply. Until recently, this guy was a high profile CEO. But due to politics, he was let go - despite the fact that everyone knows he's a total superstar, both in his performance at that company and in every position prior.
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When You Say The Wrong Thing
Recently I hosted a dinner with a great group of friends and people I wanted to meet. One of my guests was a particularly good friend, a guy I care about and respect deeply. Until recently, this guy was a high profile CEO. But due to politics, he was let go - despite the fact that everyone knows he's a total superstar, both in his performance at that company and in every position prior.
While introducing my friend at this dinner, I put my foot in my mouth. Deep. I made what I thought was a well-intentioned joke about his recent misfortune, and - though I was oblivious at the time - it came across as rude and disrespectful.
Maybe it was the red wine. Maybe it was that I think so highly of my friend that I didn't realize a witty barb could ever come across as legitimately insulting. The fact is, it doesn't really matter: I said something that hurt someone undeserving, someone who I care about a great deal.
Chances are, something like this has happened to you - and if it hasn't, some day it will. So once the damage is done, what do you do? How do you fix things?
The only course of action when we hurt others unintentionally is one of vulnerability, transparency and accountability.
First, don't depend on hearsay: Talk it out with the person in question, if they didn't already approach you directly. In my case, my friend himself didn't call me on my misstep; someone else mentioned it. So I called my friend. And sure enough, he concurred: Yep, I had been a schmuck. I started to understand that whatever my intentions, what I said really wasn't funny.
Next up: Apologize. Don't make excuses. Own up to what happened and move on. If your friend forgives you - and I was lucky, mine did - then trust that. Don't belabor it, don't revisit it. Instead, move forward in the spirit of friendship and good faith - OK, maybe with a little extra sensitivity so you don't have to make room in your mouth for two feet next time.
Of course, if you're me, there's one final step: Write a blog on the entire episode with your heart on your sleeve, hoping that perhaps your mistake at least gives others the chance to learn. You can be sure, I'm going to make sure those at the dinner get this particular tip of the week!
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Article Tags: accountability, barb, friendship, good faith, good friend, hearsay, high profile, joke, misfortune, misstep, profile ceo, red wine, schmuck, spirit, transparency, two feet, vulnerability
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When I started my business I had made a lot of mistakes initially. These helped me in learning the art of the trade and today when I look back, I feel that these mistakes were quite silly. I had made my learnings then and those
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I would like to find out what have been your faltering moments in Business when you had started and what/how did they help you grow.
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Books that should be written
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As long as you're organized and know where all your reference material/idea sheets are when you're ready to get back to work on each project, it should be fine. I also find that by stepping away from a project - I still work on it in the recesses of my mind so that when I go back to it - it's with some good ideas that I wouldn't have had if I'd continued on with it originally.
Maybe I should write a book on how to Procrastinate Constructively... I've actually thought about doing that...because most people procrastinate, don't they...and very few are ever able to stop.
Re: Who hates cold calling?
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Firstly, I wouldn't dream of picking up the phone unless I knew my product. I'd hate to get caught out on a simple objections. Secondly, when I call up I ask for the decision maker. If they're not available, (in a meeting, out of the office) I will never pitch the person who takes my call. Normally its the secretary. I'll just say 'no problem, when would you recommend be the best time to catch him?'
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Napoleon on Project Management
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Anyway:
Only in the understanding of history, Napoleon might say, do we gain an understanding of strategy in the present. In the same spirit, Napoleon on Project Management offers the recipe for successfully managing your commitments using the strategies, tactics and priorities that propelled Napoleon himself to victory. [The book doesn't gloss over how Napolean eventually fell in defeat, of course, and there's lessons to be learned there as well.
TOC
Foreword by Douglas James Allan (Napoleanic Society of America)
1. The Rise to Power
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2. Napoleon's 6 Winning Principles
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3. The Downfall
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