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Your Vulnerability Is Your Strength!

Written by: Keith Ferrazzi

Article Overview: At conferences and trainings, we're always trying to get people to have deeper, more meaningful conversations, to let their guard down and share their vulnerabilities and passions -- the stuff that makes us all human! I've heard so many touching stories recently from people who had the courage to try it. Two examples:

Your Vulnerability Is Your Strength!

At conferences and trainings, we're always trying to get people to have deeper, more meaningful conversations, to let their guard down and share their vulnerabilities and passions -- the stuff that makes us all human! I've heard so many touching stories recently from people who had the courage to try it. Two examples:

1. A young man has been on his job for 6 months (he's a salesman). He wasn't making his quarter and as a result, his compensation dipped significantly. It dipped so much, in fact, that he had to sell his house and move his wife and two kids into a two-bedroom apartment.

2. Another young guy said he has an autistic child, who he loves more than anything. He told us about how he hates facing the constant challenge of knowing that every hour he spends playing with that child, he's contributing to the child's development and resisting drifting away to the dark side. But he's always torn between how much time he has for that and having to work to pay the bills.

That's some rough stuff they're going through. And many people would be too afraid to share those stories. But when you have the guts to share your vulnerabilities, two things happen. Inevitably, it turns out that your conversation partners have very similar vulnerabilities or problems in their lives. Secondly, they're so empathetic with you that they immediately want to help. They offer contacts or advice or just a pair of sympathetic ears. And instantly, you will have developed a more intimate relationship with your new friend, perhaps even more intimate than ones you have with some old friends.

Don't be afraid of sharing your vulnerabilities. Know that your vulnerability can be your strength.

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Article Tags: autistic child, bedroom apartment, conferences, conversation partners, courage, ears, guts, intimate relationship, job, meaningful conversations, new friend, old friends, passions, rough stuff, touching stories, vulnerabilities, vulnerability, young man



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Re: your personality type? - Hi Michelle! If you are the present-moment focused, this is your result. If it doesn't seem spot on, I'll give you the big-picture focused result. The Enjoyer of Life. You enthusiastically enjoy experiencing the five senses, creative pursuits and social harmony in the here-and-now. You are independent, socially upbeat, and enjoy creating a positive and happy atmosphere. Despite your outgoing “persona,” you are a private person and few people truly know you well). #1 Strength: Comfort Creator #2 Strength: Expressing Social Feeling 1) Comfort Creator -- Creating a comfortable physical environment. Feels the ?ve senses vividly. Adept at using objects, or ?nding or building objects, to make a physical space the most soothing to all ?ve senses. Also organizing so objects are easily found in a convenient way. Both the physical comfort of self, and others, is important. Often feel a need to ensure those close to them are warm enough, fed, rested, etc. Will easily offer help to others in these areas, lending a jacket, or offering a snack. 2) Expressing Social Feeling Setting an emotional tone, vibrant, energetic, or serious, etc. Concerned with the emotional environment as it?s happening -- the vibe of people at a party, the tone of a situation, other people?s responses. Setting the tone -- dramatic and serious, or lighthearted and a celebration. Emotional displays are important for knowing how others are feeling, whether bad or good. Someone talking in a monotone about feelings seems insincere. Feels should be shown, so they can be read by others. Your best type would be: The Conceptualizer. You are an inventive creator of logical systems of possibilities that you use to create processes, products or strategies. Socially, you are sometimes quiet, but also find yourself acting as the life of the party, especially when you get caught up in a debate or entertaining topic of conversation. #1 Strength: Generating Future Possibilities #2 Strength: Systematic/Rule Logic
Re: your personality type? - Hi Zac, If you're on the fence about 2 and 3, I'd think more about them. Big picture people tend to be oblivious to the detail of what is happening NOW -- the colors on a restaurant wall, the layout of someone's apartment, the color of people's shirts at a party, etc. They instead notice the "theme" -- an upscale restaurant (who knows what color), casual shirts at a party (not sure what style), etc. A "trendy" apartment, but who knows where the bathroom was. Gut feeling people tend to act w/o all the facts, and are comfortable following that instinct. "Thinker" people will choose something even if they HATE it, just because it "makes sense." Where as that makes no sense to a gut person. Thinkers are more "black and white" where as gut instinct feelers are more "gray area" people. But going with your selections... 1. Within 2. Big Picture 3. Gut Feeling 4. Spontaneous The Reflective Seeker of Truth. You are a passionate searcher of big-picture meaning and strive to help others with your empathetic listening skills. Socially, you are usually quiet, but can be a social butterfly when you feel like it, though it can be draining to do so for too long. You have a very silly and goofy side, enjoy people and need time to quietly reflect #1 Strength: Predicting Future Likelihoods #2 Strength: Expressing Social Feeling Predicting Future Likelihoods Predicting what is likely to happen, based on past events, themes, or what has historically been true. Deciding what will happen, based on past events. These predictions are usually spoken with con?dence and certainty. A thread or common idea is drawn from the past, and these ideas are used to decide what will happen in the future. Authorities and past situations are extremely important for deciding what will happen in the future. Expressing Social Feeling Setting an emotional tone, vibrant, energetic, or serious, etc. Concerned with the emotional environment as it?s happening -- the vibe of people at a party, the tone of a situation, other people?s responses. Setting the tone -- dramatic and serious, or lighthearted and a celebration. Emotional displays are important for knowing how others are feeling, whether bad or good. Someone talking in a monotone about feelings seems insincere. Feels should be shown, so they can be read by others. If that is your type, your #1 match would be... The Strong-Willed Go-Getter. You are a bold sculptor of the here-and-now in order to achieve immediate results following a logical system for making decisions. You add a fun, upbeat vibe to social events and are often the most gregarious person in the room. #1 Strength: Commander of Physical Space #2 Strength: Systematic/Rule Logic
Meet Kim Kleeman - Shakespeare Squared: Named one of Inc.'s - THIS IS PRETTY INTERESTING. WISH I'D THOUGHT OF IT FIRST!!!! Meet Kim Kleeman: Shakespeare Squared: Named one of Inc.'s 500 Fastest Growing Private Companies in America. Recognized as one of Working Mother magazine's 25 Best Small Companies. Awarded the title of Illinois Family Business of the Year. Lofty accomplishments for company founder Kim Kleeman, a woman who just a few short years ago swore she would never own her own business! Having grown up the child of business-owner parents, Kleeman knew well the stresses and demands that entrepreneurial life can place upon a family. She met her husband, Jay, on the first day of college, and together they earned their teaching degrees and started making plans for a modest but happy life. When Jay's stint as a student teacher strained the family budget, though, they both started doing subcontract work proofing elementary school textbooks. Before long, they were taking on bigger jobs and hiring other teachers to freelance on various projects, and from that point on, they never looked back. In 2003, the couple founded Shakespeare Squared, an educational development company that employs an army of freelancers to write and edit materials such as textbooks, lesson plans, teacher guides, activity workbooks, and test-preparation materials. Initially a home-based business managed by Kim while Jay continued his work as a high school teacher, the company now has a full-time staff of 20 and is branching out in new directions, publishing its own materials and offering an educational editing certification process. In three years' time, the company has grown by an incredible 815 percent, bringing in $2.3 million in revenue last year. What we learned from Kim: That the most incredible resource for launching might very well be your own friends and family. Kim started this business with her husband; her best friend since high school is her director of human resources; her sister is a remote project coordinator; her lawyer brother weighs in on various matters; her mom is a managing editor; and her parents are her de facto advisory board, with whom she meets every morning to share a cup of tea and conversation in their backyard. Words of Wisdom "Trust your instincts and empower your people." From Teacher to Tycoon "I don't know if I had a big 'aha' moment about starting a business; our growth was really organic. After my second child I immediately got pregnant with my third and there was no turning back, because we weren't going to be able to afford day care for two babies on two teachers' salaries. I had been working from home and continuously had one or two projects going, and I set a goal of having 10 projects running simultaneously. 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A nice plus with our business is the opportunity we can offer teachers for life beyond teaching. I really promote teachers in the classroom, but if the classroom just isn't your thing and you're still passionate about education, there is a place for you here." Those Who Can, Teach "Educators in this country are getting a bad rap. We ask them to perform many roles and yet we're not supporting them as a society. Prospective teachers must student teach to become certified and are expected to not work while doing so, but there are so many people from diverse backgrounds who would love to teach-and who would be great teachers-who can't afford to do that. The Shakespeare Squared Foundation helps pay for prospective teachers to student teach. My passion is to get the right teachers in place, because that makes all the difference for students." The Best and the Brightest "It is definitely a challenge to find and retain the best talent, because I am up against large publishers. I have to provide a different culture and be creative in the way I offer benefits. We really believe in the work/life balance and offer such things as flex hours, remote work capabilities, and a working-parents room in the office. We've been recognized for these efforts, and because of them, our turnover is very low." Networking 101 "You have to go into a networking situation with the idea in mind that there will be one person in the crowd who can make a difference to you, and you have to find that person. You may be talking to someone who makes shoelaces and has nothing in common with your business, but she may know someone in your field or know about an interesting business practice that could translate to your own. But the bottom line is that if it's not the right conversation, you politely cut it short and move on." Strength in Numbers "There is so much value in the process of incubating an idea with other women. 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Most Rewarding Moments "Winning the Working Mother award as one of the 25 Best Small Companies felt pretty great because it showed that having a unique workplace does pay off. But even better is realizing that your message is getting across to your people. I love seeing quotes at my team's desks about goals and achieving your dreams, all of the exact things I say to empower them. It's cool to realize that there isn't a lot of cynicism, and that people are really buying into these ideas and making them their own." Parting Thoughts ... "My secret weapon is the news articles that I send to my team." "I will retire when I have no more dreams to accomplish." "I will always think of myself as a teacher." "My greatest strength is my enthusiasm." This featured lady was profiled by Noelle Pechar Hale, a freelance writer living in Los Angeles.


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