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A Closed Mouth Never Gets Fed

Guest post by: T. Harv Eker

Article Overview: I don’t watch a lot of television, but this one commercial sticks out to me about a kid who was born with seemingly ultimate confidence: asking girls out for dates even though he’s clearly shorter and younger; graduating college when most graduate high school; performing open-heart surgery in a crowded concert hall with a ballpoint pen. But when it comes to negotiating a fair price for a new car, he’s frozen in his tracks.

A Closed Mouth Never Gets Fed

I don't watch a lot of television, but this one commercial sticks out to me about a kid who was born with seemingly ultimate confidence: asking girls out for dates even though he's clearly shorter and younger; graduating college when most graduate high school; performing open-heart surgery in a crowded concert hall with a ballpoint pen. But when it comes to negotiating a fair price for a new car, he's frozen in his tracks. One of the reasons I think that commercial works so well is because it taps into a common fear that a lot of people have; how to negotiate. No one wants to feel like they just got conned.

If you think about it, though, we're using negotiations all the time: reaching agreements with our loved ones, friends, or employees. "Where do you want to eat? What movie do you want to see? I think I deserve a raise of ..."

If you settle for Italian food rather than the Chinese you really wanted, it isn't that big of a deal, is it? In business, though, you potentially have so much more at stake while negotiating. Whether you're a buyer or a seller, you want to get better pricing and more favorable terms. As the old saying goes, "In business you don't get what you deserve; you get what you negotiate."

For a lot of people that's disheartening because they either think the strategies of negotiating are beyond them, or because there may even be a little guilt factor; if they win, the other person is losing.

First of all, both parties can win, and if anything you want to avoid win/lose or lose/lose situations altogether. Secondly, even if you have the best intentions, you can't make choices for your fellow negotiator, but you can always help yourself by doing this one simple thing: ask for a better deal.

People are so afraid of hearing "No" that they often don't even try. You have nothing to lose by just asking! A good friend of mine once told me, "Harv, a closed mouth won't get fed." Open your mouth! Say something if negotiations aren't going the way you'd like.

There is one thing you do want to hold back on: never come out with a number first. Why? Because they now have flexibility to make countering statements and reasons why not to go with what you want instead of affirming statements (For example, "That's not in the budget"). You want to say things and be in a position to force them to admit, "Yes, that does make sense."

The best negotiating tool is to tell the truth. Know what you wanted going in and the absolute least/most you can go that makes sense to your bottom line. Then communicate that to them. The idea of good negotiations is to work together so you both get what you want, you both feel good and the deal is fair. Win-win scenarios are not always going to work out, but better to aim for that-or choose not to enter into a deal that will leave either party resentful.

Ask for what you really want, be truthful and fair, don't get attached to hard feelings if things don't work out, and you might just find that negotiating is a helluva lot easier and actually more fun than people might think.

So now it's your turn! What are your feelings on negotiating? Have you overcome obstacles in this area? Do you still struggle when closing the deal? Share your thoughts here.

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Article Tags: ballpoint pen, best intentions, choices, closed mouth, confidence, favorable terms, fear, fedi, girls, good friend, graduating college, guilt factor, italian food, negotiations, negotiator, new car, open heart surgery, stake, television



Related Forum Posts
Measuring Word of mouth - [quote="jvprosperity":2l2ujat4]I couldn't find the Part 1 Doctrine on the site but I believe from reading the blog posts it had to do with the distractions entrepreneurs and their customers face daily. He may have also talked about Word of Mouth and the true way of measuring it.[/quote:2l2ujat4] Hi Andy, So how can one measure "Word of Mouth" marketing then?
Word of Mouth - Word of Mouth marketing by its very nature takes time. You need to develop relationships before people will refer you. Why not boost it a little by making a few partnerships? You could partner with a gym or put on seminars. Think who else targets the same people and how you can work with them and help them. You can also write articles and become and expert in your field - put them online, write a column for a community paper on health, etc. Even a door to door flyer drop with a simple one pager can help drive some clients. Good luck!
Web Pro News' "Mom's Top 10 Reasons to Social (Web)Mark - I belong to WebProNews, a weekly eletter which provides lots of good info. I reproduce their whole article below on "Mom's Guide To Social Marketing" (No intent on violating copyright - if you think this is good info you too should subscribe to Web Pro News too.) Your mother, if she did her job right, taught you everything you need to know about how to get along in the world and how to get ahead in it. When we were kids, we thought these rules were silly, but later we learned her advice was pretty valuable. In honor of Mother's Day (May 13), we've put her wisdom to work in online marketing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Editor's Note: Social marketing is quickly becoming an integral part of generating business online. While search is the on-ramp, social networks are the destination. And just like any social setting, your rep is important. Mom's Guide to Life, we thought, was a great Guide to Everything. Did we forget some valuable tip? Let us know in the comments section. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mom's Top 10 Steps To A Good Online Reputation 1. Put Your Best Foot Forward: As recently as a year ago, when things were newer, more experimental, a presence on MySpace only was fine. Not so anymore. You have to be everywhere, treating branding in the online world the way you would in the real world. Most social networks allow you to set up a profile page for free (the ones that matter most do anyway). Create your online persona (a polite one), then clone it as necessary. 2. Make Eye Contact: Just like in the real world, wallflowers don't get noticed. The wallflower is most likely an incredible resource – it's just that nobody knows her because she doesn't put herself out there. Be a participant by commenting, inviting, giving. Show up at your new neighbor's door with a gift. It always goes over well – just remember to button your blouse. 3. You Are a Reflection of Your Mother (Company): Nobody likes a poorly kept lawn except the lazy bum that lives behind it. Maintain your public face on the social networks, shine your shoes, crease your pants, embrace your OCD. It may not be your homepage, but it is a home away from home. Maintaining several of these online presences is work, but so is business. 4. Keep An Open Mind: There's an appropriate cliché for every situation – all your eggs in one basket comes to mind here – but I prefer my grandfather's chestnut: "You drove your ducks to a damn poor market." Poetic, that man was. For a long time it was search, search, search. Before that it was email, email, email. But now you need to integrate your campaign. Search is a staple, a pillar of your online campaign, but we also know that Wikipedia ranks consistently number one in the SERPs. That means you need a Wikipedia page, too. Note: YouTube also ranks well. 5. Become Necessary: Viral marketing is tricky, difficult business. But maybe it doesn't have to be. Maybe if you realign your approach to reflect what you, as an individual enjoy, instead of being a salesperson, you can find a more intuitive connection with what the public wants to see. It's often been said that a salesman sells himself more than the product. So if you want to make linkbait, think about what would cause you to bite first. If you look at your viral attempt and see more corporate talking points than linkable material, it's time for a do-over. 6. Like the People that Like You (Even If You Think They're Annoying): Barack Obama's campaign people did something brilliant, and followed up with something not so brilliant. That makes it a great case study. An Obama fan set up a MySpace page and soon attracted thousands of friends. Instead of competing with his biggest fan, Obama endorsed the site as the official MySpace campaign headquarters. That was the brilliant part. After the page "got too big" for the original operator, the campaign crew took staged a coup to wrest control of the page from their biggest fan. That was the not so brilliant part, even if politics is mean by nature. 7. Watch Your Mouth: Again with the clichés that still hold true – if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Steve Rubel learned the hard way that stream-of-consciousness blogging can have you saying something you wish you hadn’t. Transparency doesn't mean total access. 8. Don't Be a Fake: Who do we dislike most in civilized society (aside from the violent)? Liars, cheats, and thieves. We don't like them because we view them as betrayers. That principle applies online, too, when your network discovers you're not what you say you are. And the mob's wrath is one that is hard to endure. 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Just don't sell out your core identity in the process. While that's just ten guidelines out of many, Mom always had one rule that ruled them all: Use your head, dodo bird! This is a thinking man's game. Indeed it is. Good luck with your campaigns.


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