Donna,
You're right on:
Do you think part of the problem is that society has come to expect women to accomplish everything? I know family, friends and acquaintances can exert a lot of pressure in many situations.
That was what I meant, about how social conditioning had lured women into believing that they MUST be everything to everyone at all times. Now, I am not saying that we can't aspire to achieve and attain what we desire, as long as we know WHY we want WHAT we want. Often, we want what we think we SHOULD want based on our projection of societal (familial, peer) expectations, when in fact, some of us may not necessarily want something.
Here are two extremes:
One woman is very career oriented and successful professionally, she aspires to and may be close to becoming the CEO of her organization. However, she may feel the pressure in her personal life to "settle down and have children" when in fact, she is satisfied with her self and has no desire at the moment to have children. She may be made to feel "less" because she does not desire what she was taught she should desire.
One woman is very family oriented and successful as a mom and "home maker". She loves her role and the community she is closely integrated with. However, she may feel the pressure from others including peers to "make something of herself because she has no identity" when in fact, she is satisfied with her self and has no desire at the moment to pursue a career in the stereotypical way. She may be made to feel "less" because she does not desire what she was taught she should desire.
I think many of us fall somewhere between these extremes, but we are made to feel no less satisfied. Some of us juggle family and a career either out of necessity or out of conscious choice.
Women entrepreneurs have the additional pressure of creating the very infrastructure of a business through which they pursue their passions. Those of us who are entrepreneurs - men or women - know that working for yourself can be more difficult than working for someone else, and usually we don't stop working.
When we're conditioned to want to have it all and have it now, we set ourselves up for disappointment and worse - self criticism when we cannot achieve what may be logistically unrealistic (even if one of us figure out how to bend the space time continuum and manage to add more hours to the day, I have a feeling we'll just create another standard out of our reach)....
Jane Chin
