Who Inspires You? Pay It Forward!

I was asked a question today, who inspires you? There are many answers to that question, Lance Armstrong, Ronald Reagan and Martin Luther King, Jr. but only one name popped into my head immediately, Sharon Neukam. In the world there are few people, thousands, not millions, that have known Sharon Neukam. Everyone of them are living better, because they were touched and inspired by Sharon. "How could he possibly know this," you may ask. I know, because Sharon passed away recently, and I heard story after story, of how this little woman changed the world, one person at a time.

Now you say, "Lots of people are kind and do this every day." Do they do it while battling cancer, doing chemo every week, for more than thirteen years? Do they do it after being given their last rights, more than once? Do they do it when they are feeling so bad, that most of us would not even get out of bed? Sharon did.

Sharon is the wife of one of my best friends, Frank. Frank and I went to school, played sports together and stayed friends from that time. It was natural, that when Frank met and married Sharon, we became friends as well. You have many friends over the years, family commitments and busy schedules don't allow for much quality time. We had sons born within a couple months of each other, which allowed us to have more time than usual, but still not as much as we would like. The point is, we were good friends, but not talking on the phone everyday and some years we would only see each other 3 or 4 times. That's ok, because a good friend does not need to be there every day, a good friend is there when you need a friend most.

Which brings me to the story of how Sharon inspired me in a way that changed my life forever. In 2003 I was diagnosed with colon/rectal cancer, immediately had surgery and over the next 9 months, radiation and chemotherapy. This is where Sharon comes in. I did not really want to tell her and Frank, because you see, she had breast cancer since 1992, fighting and undergoing treatments on a weekly basis, in addition to being a wife and mother of two sons. The dilemma was, I did not want them to hear it from someone else. I finally broke down called and stopped by their home, where I proceeded to let them in on my secret.

It should have been a discouraging time, but we spent the next four hours talking, Sharon asking a lot of questions and giving advice and encouragement. The thing I remember most is, when I left, my stomach actually hurt, not from illness, but from all the laughter. It was something I had not experienced since being diagnosed, but Sharon had a way of making anyone completely at ease and forgetting your cares for the time she was in your presence.

It did not end there; the inspiration she gave me in the following year changed my life and that of many people that I have come in contact with since. When I say I did not talk to my friends on a daily basis, that does not apply to Sharon and the year I was going through Chemotherapy. Sharon did not call every day, but almost, the amazing thing is, that on every call she had something for me, physical care packages, in the form of herbal teas and muffins to fight nausea, but always sincere questions and cures for the answers given. Each and every call made me feel better. She never asked for or would have considered taking anything in return.

The problem with all of this is, she was sicker than I was and had been for a long time. I should have been the one making the calls and asking what I could do for her. That is when it hit me. I always considered myself a good man, nice person, but the truth is, only if I did not have to go out of my way. She made me understand that being a good person, is much more. It is something that we all need to do, not just today or tomorrow, but everyday that we spend on this earth. Sharon made me see and take action on it.

It does not take a lot of money or energy to do something nice or brighten someone's day. Before, I would go into my office with blinders on, do my thing and get out, sometimes without uttering a word. I call that time, before Sharon. After Sharon me, makes it a point to know what is going on with the people around me, who is having a bad day, not feeling well, had a recent loss or just needs a kind word. If I can put a smile on a face or make a bad thought disappear for a moment, I do it. The funny thing about it is, the benefits of giving are received in return, ten times over.

In no way can I compare, what I am doing, with what Sharon did for me and so many others. The point is, one person can make a big difference by doing a small kind thing for someone every day. If two or ten people do it, all the better. Sharon Neukam inspired me to be a good man and to know that I am not the best I can be. Thanks to her, I keep working to get better. This article is dedicated to Sharon, those that have been taken from us by cancer and those still fighting the fight. In there honor, I ask each person reading this to take an extra minute with someone who you know, that can benefit from a kind word from you. Too much to ask? Not really, the reward is greater than you could ever imagine.