Tweet

Is Touching Unmanly or a Success Strategy?

Guest post by: H. Bernard Wechsler

Article Overview: New scientific research: touching folks is a serious communication aid adding up up to 2x to your ability to influence. Discover the baby-easy strategies now.

Is Touching Unmanly or a Success Strategy?

Is Touching Unmanly or a Success Strategy? Bob Lieber was a two million dollar a year lawyer. His unique competitive

advantage was a talent they do not teach in law school. Bob could persuade

stubborn mules to change their minds and close the deal. How?

There comes a time at every real estate or contract closing when both sides

distrust and hate each other more than they want to close the deal. Each side

gets emotional and irrational and checks their reasoning brain at the door.

If nature takes its course you have a dead deal. Bob would stand up and walk around the room silently. He would stand behind the lawyer for the opposition and

(get this!) start to massage the lawyer's shoulders and neck.

No conversation - just non-verbal communication to relax. That's right, even if

he hardly knew the other counsel, he would knead the person's shoulders and neck.

Not done, he moved behind the opposition client and without asking permission -

massaged (manipulated and stroked) the guy for another sixty seconds.

The mood in the room changed and the transaction closed without another hitch.

Physical Contact

Your voice (auditory sense) can have calming tones that persuade and convince.

Your face can either create rapport or alienate folks because our sense

of vision triggers emotions based on the facial expressions we see.

Lastly, comes our sense of touch (kinesthetic, tactile or haptics). Physical Contact has received new scientific research indicating it is an emotional powerhouse.

Examples: a raised high-five, pat on the shoulder, bumping fists, chest ramming or even a smile influences results, relationships and success percentages.

Get this: physical contact changes how folks think and behave. It creates star athletes and teams that win the Title. What works in sports works equally in your career to ace a job interview (we teach it to corporate executives and lawyers), winning presentations, or successfully closing sales or agreements.

Placebo

Doctors and nurses who pat your arm or touch your shoulder double the power

of drugs to relieve your pain, set the stage for miraculous healings, and satisfy the

emotional side of their patients.

Some scientists believe the Placebo Effect is nonsense, just the power of authority

(physician in the white coat) and suggestibility. In 2009 research using FMRI

(functional Magnetic Resonance Imagery) discovered our brain changes when we have confidence (faith) in our medical team. There is an increased activity by our

Immune and Nervous systems, more dopamine (relaxation) is released, and a triggering of our Mu Opioid Receptors.

The Mu receptors are located in our brain, spinal cord and intestines and release

endorphins to overcome pain. It is the body's form of opium (opioid) to initiate

healing. It is not just the power of suggestion (like hypnosis) but physical imagery readouts showing bodily changes.

Google: Professor Dache Keltner, UC Berkley: physical contact as wordless communication.

What's In It For Me

Fact: a warm friendly touch releases Oxytocin a powerful hormone that creates

trust and empathy (belief) between humans. Wait. Oxytocin counteracts Cortisol, the stress hormone causing us to relax instead of activating our fight-or-flight complex.

When we relax instead of emotionalizing our experiences, and use strategies to

help others reduce their tension and release chronic stress, we both think and remember better. It's a win-win prospective leading to agreement.

If your career involves persuading, convincing and influencing your peers and

superiors for promotions, or executives for successful sales, you need physical

contact strategies because they smooth the way for cooperation.

If you have a significant other or kids, using physical touch produces winning

relationships. Touching can be intimidating, but it is too powerful an asset to

be ignored. It beats words (verbal communication) by up to 75%.

Touch their hair, better yet, smile and touch their hair or hand.

Get this one: massaging a hand for half a minute is like hypnosis causing trance.

Simple hand stroking reduces pain up to 75%.

Why? You are accessing their right-hemisphere, specifically Spatial patterns. Emotions, positive long-term memories and cooperating thinking come from

our right-brain.

Result: you are someone to be trusted and not the opposition (enemy). How come?

Your right-brain intuition says so. By the way, the couple that massage, stroke and pat each other, statistically - stay together. Yes, it is like the grooming of our ancient

ancestors the chimps. It is genetic and hardwired. They report more satisfaction.

Talking With Your Hands

It is a fact that residents of Italy appear to use their hands to communicate

more than folks in other countries. Is that a good or bad thing or even something

to be embarrassed about?

The University of Chicago reports research indicating pointing and gesturing with

your hands and arms create positive communication between folks. Animation

is emotional and triggers a need to pay attention to the gesturing party.

Results: gesturers have a higher retentive memory and their thinking (left prefrontal cortex) is more complex and effective. They plain communicate better.

Gesturing while speaking improves how you (speaker) feels and paints positive mental pictures for your listeners.

Wanna make your point (reasoning) stick? Gesture, point, touch and speak.

Emblem is Pantomime

There are gestures that are immediately decoded by the brain of the other party

as symbols that express whole volumes of ideas. Example: using your index finger

like a windshield wiper across your forehead to indicate - "it is hot as a furnace

in here!" It is called an emblem, which is pantomiming what you mean.

Another example of an emblem is your index finger perpendicular to your lips meaning - Shush!

So what? Teachers gain attention more by gestures than words, and so should you.

Giving a presentation - pointing, gesturing and using symbols are better than Power

Point. They are more human and less didactic - folks hate being taught but love to

learn.

Google: Hofstra University School of Medicine, Allen Braun, M.D.

Endwords

Fact: science has proven that to make your point clear and persuasive,

link your verbal brilliance with our ancient language of gestures.

Let your words and hands do the talking - it is a neuroscientific partnership.

Would you have a strong competitive advantage in your career to read and

remember three (3) books, articles and reports in the time your peers can

hardly finish one?

Contact us for a free speed reading report with details of how to triple your

learning skills.

See ya,

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Related Articles
  5 Winning Ways to Confident Body Language
  Are You Giving Away Too Much?
  Effective Business Presentations - Show and Touch
  Reading Body Language Is A Strategic Skill In Business Dealings, According To Your Strategic Thinking Business Coach
  Customer Body Language: What to Look for
  Stupid Is Not A Protected Class
  5 Remarkable Benefits to Having a Business Plan
  SEXUAL HARASSMENT – THE CAREER KILLER
  Mars and Venus – Part IV. What makes sense to buyers?
  The Importance of Uncovering Your Core Desires
  Why Businesses Succeed
  Turning the Magic On: How Johnson Built an Empire
  Strategy vs. Fundamentals
  Part 5: Marketing and Sales Strategies
  Twenty-one Hot Tips for Developing Your Winning Personal Success Strategy
  9th of the Top 10 Kurlan Sales Management Functions
  Living Life On Your Terms
  Create a Strategy That Pruduces Sustainable Results
  How Not to Lead
  The Attitude of Success

Article Tags: executives, learning, memory, speed reading



Related Forum Posts
Re: Quote of the Day - "It's not just about being able to write - This is so true. Touching someone else's life gives as much to the giver as the receiver. MichelleJ
Book: Secrets of Six Figure Women - Secrets of Six Figure Women: Surprising Strategies to up your earning and change your life Barbara Stanny, 2002 Jacket: Maybe you've noticed - a subtle trend is gathering steam. Quietly and steadily, the number of women making six figures or more is increasing, and it continues to rise at a rate faster than for men. From entrepreneurs to corporate executives, from white collar executives to free lancers and part timers, women are forging careers with considerable financial success. Through extensive research and hundreds of interviews, including dialogs with more than 150 high earners whose annual incomes range from $100,000 to 7 million, Stanny discovered that ...they all had certain traits in common: 1) a profit motive 2) Audacity 3) REslience 4) Encouragement 5) Self-awareness 6) Non-attachment 7) Financial knowhow She amplifies on these in the book itself. Table of Contents Intro: Welcome to the era of the six-figure woman 1. The Queen in the Countinghouse 2. The Lowdown on low earners 3. Raising the bar 4. Strategy 1: The Declaration of Intention 5. Strategy 2: Letting go of the ledge 6. Strategy 3: Get in the Game 7. Strategy 4: Speak Up 8. Strategy 5: The Stretch 9. Strategy 6: Seek Support 10. Strategy 7: Obey the rules of money 11. Claiming our power Appendces: Resources and websites Tips for getting out of dent Investing Basics: Wealthbuilding 101
Re: What can you do if your franchise is hit by a scandal? - GT - Brilliant Strategy... What can I add? I'm at a loss for words...so I'll shut up now...
Introducing a Learner - Hi everybody, It is really my pleasure being around so many Entrepreneurs and strategic minds. Strategy is something I always loved and eager over every new move. Being a newbie I would need your support and I hope I would get that. Thanks Stephen
Re: THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS ALL IN YOUR HEAD...RIGHT NOW!!! - Success = Thinking (Head) + Heart (Feeling / Interest) + Hand (doing/ action). Success - H3 Robert


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Why We MUST Reinvent The Wheel

3 Key Factors For Raising Capital

3 Pointers to Recruiting and Retaining Good Staff

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.