TOO MUCH INFORMATION There is no such place as the middle of nowhere anymore.
It doesn’t matter whether you work in shipping or Human Resources, we are always plugged in all the trying to communicate. We’ve got email, snail mail and voice mail, and. Haven’t talked to anybody since March. Because let’s face it we’re too busy. We don’t have time; we’re too busy responding to emails. Do you remember when the phone would ring and we’d pick it up? Now, with call display, we just stare at it. “Oh great! It’s him. What does that consultant want?”
Then we let it go to voice mail and when he doesn’t leave a message and we say, “Oh right, what kind of game is he playing? Calling me and not leaving a message. Good thing I didn’t answer it”
We pay extra money for services on the phone just so we won’t have to talk to people. In the old days we just wouldn’t answer. That option was free.
I have, email, voice mail and snail mail. I haven’t talked to a living person since the new millennium began. Even my computer gives me lip. It speaks, isn’t that a technical marvel? It is, except it talks like Stephen Hawking. . . .with attitude.
“You have made a fatal error. You have made a fatal error. You have made a fatal error”...
I didn’t cut and paste. How can it be fatal?
I feel like screaming, “It’s not my fault. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
So just when I’m about to have a nervous breakdown because of this know-it-all computer, I decide I need a little Retail Therapy. Get out of the house and go buy things I don’t need with money I don’t have. But there is no escape from bossy machines.
Even the grocery store and Wal-Mart now have this self check-out system where instead of paying somebody to learn how to use this machine to tally up the money you are spending at their store; they get you to experience the double pleasure of spending your own money to do it yourself.
So you check out the groceries yourself. And the computer goes beep scan, beep scan, put the item in the bag, put the item in the bag, take the item out of the bag, scan the item, scan the item, scan the item call the cashier, and the cashier holds up her Carpal Tunneled arms as if to say, “I’m not helping ya”
And I live in the country, so I get a lot of groceries at once. I was buying my normal ten bags worth and there are six bags on this carousel. And they’re all full, so I take one off to start another one and all Hell breaks loose! The computer goes mental! Hal 9000 mental.
“Put the bag back on the carousel. Shoplifter, shoplifter”. So I storm out, thinking I don’t have to buy groceries this way and Stephen Hawking is still screaming at me. “Get back here. Put the items back on the shelf!”
Yes we live in a global village, and I seem to be always dealing with the Village Idiot.
excerpt from Deborah Kimmett's new book Reality is Over Rated
TOO MUCH INFORMATION - To learn more about this author, visit Deborah Kimmett's Website.
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Deborah Kimmett
(Visit Deborah's Website)
Talk about a Human Resources gem. For 25
years, she was associated with the famous
Second City as an actor, teacher director
and mentor. She was one of the four
architects of their Corporate Training
Program and over a year ago, formed her
own company Wit With Widsom.
Ms Kimmett has trained thousands of
business people to Stay Flexible, Think on
Their Feet, Find Solutions to Stress in
the Moment, Get their Good Ideas in the
MOment rather than in the car on the way
home. And Live Outside the Comfort Zone.
She is a brilliant and hilarious
communicator who does keynotes, workshop
and interactive seminars to get people to
experience their own inner human resource.
She appears regularly on CBC television at
the Winnipeg Comedy Festival and is a
veteran of The Debaters, for CBC Radio
One.
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